


Living with a Lion

by Fearharte



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Bodyguard, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Politics, Roommates, Slice of Life, after canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2020-11-16 14:14:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 55,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20837060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fearharte/pseuds/Fearharte
Summary: UPDATE: Chapter 8 newly added and the last section of chapter 7 has been edited. See author note at the top of that chapter.----“I do not need a bodyguard,” Squall said flatly, glaring at Quistis and Xu. The women on the other side of his desk exchanged a glance, then Xu folded her arms.“You don’t really get to decide.”Squall pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a second. Why did things have to be so complicated all the time? His finger skimmed the edge of his scar and he thought back to the fight that felt so incredibly long ago. It had been a good match, despite Seifer’s cheap shot. Or maybe because of it.“Fine. But only under the condition that I get to choose who it is,” Squall said bluntly.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'll finish After Party next and then probably post something on Winter in Winhill. I can't sit still with writing, I have to bounce around.
> 
> Per usual, this is both tropey and not planned. We'll see where it goes.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything except appreciation for kudos and comments. Thank you very much for any you leave. Constructive criticism is welcome. ❤
> 
> Oh by the way, in this story it's been 6 months since the end of the game and I'm going to say the war only lasted 3 months, so it's been 9 months since Seifer left Balamb to join Edea/Ultimecia.

“I do not need a bodyguard,” Squall said flatly, glaring at Quistis and Xu. The women on the other side of his desk exchanged a glance, then Xu folded her arms.

“You don’t really get to decide. You’re the President of Esthar’s son and he demands it as part of the peace agreement that we need more than he does.”

Squall clenched his jaw. That fucking agreement. 

“This is absolutely-“

“Not up for debate,” Xu interrupted. “We need to show a united front with Esthar or else Galbadia is going to pressure us to reduce our military power. They’ve been threatening us with another war ever since Rinoa’s status as a sorceress was publicly announced.”

Squall sighed heavily. Six months had passed since the end of the Second Sorceress War and somehow he had been forced to keep the title of commander. Xu wouldn’t take it herself since she didn’t have military field experience, always working on the administrative side only, and no one else qualified at Squall’s level. He didn’t want the job, but he felt responsible for it, and then of course the student body had held a protest against his resignation, leaving him no choice. 

Cid wasn’t about to complain, either, since it meant he could focus on the academic aspect of the Garden, leaving Squall to oversee all of their SeeD mission requests and political relations. Nothing he couldn’t handle, at least, not until that idiot Laguna made a public announcement that Squall was his long lost son, separated from him after his wife died while he was rebuilding Esthar. Which put him directly in the spotlight for assassination attempts and regular harassment from outside forces. 

And apparently Laguna had been fine with Squall keeping his position in Balamb so long as Squall had been dating the world’s new sorceress. But ever since they broke it off three months ago, Laguna had become more and more insistent that Squall move to Esthar. Squall had refused repeatedly and he suspected the only reason the peace agreement didn’t demand that Squall leave Balamb altogether rather than just get a bodyguard was because Kiros intervened on his behalf. 

Squall pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a second. Why did things have to be so complicated all the time? His finger skimmed the edge of his scar and he thought back to the fight that felt so incredibly long ago. It had been a good match, despite Seifer’s cheap shot. Or maybe because of it. Not for the first time, he wondered what Seifer was doing now. He, Fujin, and Raijin were all dishonorably discharged from the Garden after the war, and Squall hadn’t heard anything about them since their court hearing for their involvement, clearing them of war crimes but not consequences with the people.

He opened his eyes, locking his gaze on Xu’s and her brows twitched.

“Fine. But only under the condition that I get to choose who it is,” Squall said bluntly. “Have it added to the agreement or I’m not signing it.”

“Who do you want?” Quistis asked, curious. 

“That doesn’t matter. They’ll be capable,” Squall said. “If you want me to sign it, you’ll add that amendment. If the President of Esthar can make demands, so can I.”

Xu shrugged. “Fine. I agree it’s stupid anyway, so it’s just a formality as far as I’m concerned. I’ll send over the message this afternoon.”

Squall nodded and stood up. “Great. I’m going to go train.”

\--

Seifer shifted the cargo bag off his bare shoulder and lowered it to the ship deck slowly, careful not to drop it. He straightened back up and lifted a gloved hand to wipe the sweat off his forehead, narrowing his eyes as a person down on the dock caught his attention. A person in a SeeD uniform. He looked down the deck and saw Raijin and Fujin come up from the cargo hold. When they caught his eye, he jerked his head in the SeeD’s direction and his friends exchanged a look. 

Seifer turned and leaned on the ship railing, glaring down at the unknown SeeD.

“Can I help you?” He called down just as the SeeD reached the gangplank. The young man looked up at him, squinting his eyes against the sunlight.

“I’m looking for Seifer Almasy?”

“You’re looking at him.” Seifer said, his tone challenging. “What do you want?”

“You're being requested to appear at Balamb Garden. I'm here to escort you."

"Bull fucking shit. There's no way I'm going to Balamb," Seifer said, scowling at the surprised man. 

"But-"

"Is there a warrant out for my arrest?"

"No..."

"Then get lost."

"This is a very important request," the SeeD said, indignant.

"Well you can shove it up your ass." Seifer pushed away from the railing and turned back to his work, now irritated and anxious. He didn't want to know what Balamb wanted with him, didn't want to hear that they suddenly wanted to retry him for war crimes or interrogate him more about sorceresses. He wanted to close that door on his life and figure out what to do without the shadow of Garden looming over him.

"But Commander Leonhart is requesting you for a job!"

Seifer froze as he reached down for another cargo bag. He straightened up and glared over the railing again.

"Who?"

"Commander Squall Le-"

"What the fuck does puberty boy want to hire me for?"

"Pubert-?!"

"INTERESTING." Fujin interrupted loudly from down the deck. Seifer glanced at her and Raijin.

"Maybe you should check it out, ya know?" Raijin asked, shrugging.

Seifer's eyes slid back over to the furious SeeD who was now turning red with indignation. The kid seemed to be new if he didn't recognize Seifer or know his history with Squall. He suspected being away from the garden for nine months would make him a stranger there, even if he was a major figure during the war.

"What's the job?" Seifer asked reluctantly.

\--

Squall stalked down the hallway and briskly turned into an empty classroom on the second floor, using his master key to lock the door behind him, not that it would do any good if Xu figured out he was in here. He dropped his forehead against the door and took a deep breath.

He had really expected Seifer to come, had thought he would at least hear Squall out and maybe make an appearance in front of Laguna to get the man off Squall's case, even if he didn't take the job. It was a stupid idea to begin with, hiring Seifer to be his so called bodyguard, considering Seifer was one of the most likely people to kill him. But something about that idea, of Seifer's eyes lighting up with wild delight just before going in for the killing blow, had drawn Squall to choosing him. He couldn't explain it, he just felt easier imagining that expression again. 

But Seifer was supposed to show up three days ago if he was going to arrive at all, and now that he hadn't, Squall felt more trapped than ever. He had signed the agreement. He was going to be forced into accepting a twenty-four hour detail. He never felt more cornered in his life. Only an hour ago, Laguna had arrived for the upcoming press conference to announce that same peace agreement, hopefully deterring Galbadian advancement on Balamb soil in any foreseeable future. And Xu and Zell were racing through the halls looking for Squall. 

He wasn't avoiding his job or Laguna. He had plenty of time before the press conference and he would be there. He just planned on keeping every available minute to himself beforehand.

Twenty-four hour protection. God, if it was someone he hated he was going to go crazy. 

"Goddamn it, Seifer," Squall muttered in irritation shoving his hand up into his hair.

"That's a rude welcome for someone you begged to come back."

Squall whirled around in shock to see Seifer sitting in the shadows in the back of the classroom, feet crossed on the desk, his hands clasped behind his head, his usual gray trench coat hanging off him like always, in much better shape than he last saw it. A single word escaped Squall in a startled whisper. 

"Seifer…"

Seifer had been surprised when Squall slipped into the classroom without even noticing him and stood at the door like he was facing impending doom. He was even more surprised when Squall muttered his name in frustration, as if whatever he was dealing with was directly his fault. 

What shocked him to the core, however, was the way Squall turned and looked at him like a savior. Something dangerous raced through Seifer's veins at that look.

Squall's expression of relief shifted back into annoyance. "You were supposed to be here three days ago."

"I wasn't sure I was coming until this morning," Seifer confessed, shrugging. Squall hesitated, seeming to reconsider something, and Seifer swung his legs off the desk before he could complete the thought, standing up and approaching him slowly. "So, what's the deal? I didn't expect to see you again for the rest of my life."

Squall stared at Seifer silently, suddenly realizing what a terrible idea this was after all, now that the other man was in front of him in the flesh. There was no way in hell he could ask him to be his bodyguard. Squall clenched his jaw briefly, furrowing his brows, about to reply, then the classroom door flew open. Squall turned around sharply and Seifer's two least favorite people in the world barged in.

"There you are, Commander!" Xu snapped angrily. She stopped short when she saw Seifer and her expression turned furious. "What the hell is _ he _ doing here?!"

"Seifer! You here to get your ass kicked again?" Zell asked mockingly, bouncing on the balls of his feet to get ready for a fight, punching the air a few times.

Seifer held his hands out in an exaggerated shrug. "The welcoming committee in this place sucks."

"I'm calling security-" Xu started to turn away.

"He is security," Squall said suddenly, causing everyone else in the room to fall silent. "...He's my bodyguard."

Seifer furrowed his brows, warily lifting his chin a little as he studied Squall's profile, then flicked his eyes over at Xu when she spoke up.

"There's no way."

"You agreed I could choose anyone." Squall said plainly, not an argument, a reminder.

"Not him! Are you crazy?" Xu threw her hands out in exasperation as she realized he was being serious.

"The peace agreement says anyone of my choosing," Squall said, putting one hand on his hip. "There were no conditions. It's signed. I'm not breaking any contracts and anyone who refuses my choice is invalidating the agreement."

Seifer lifted an eyebrow at Squall's tense tone that left no room for argument. Seeing Squall change over the course of the war had been unexpected all those months ago. He had been a pawn before, a soldier who never thought for himself and followed orders without argument. Then something had shifted and the man before him had become a leader, speaking up and inspiring people, speaking out against Seifer. Seifer had hated it, had felt left behind in the dirt.

He had tried to leave that all behind after the war, wanted to just live a quiet life doing honest work, tired of trying to be someone important and failing. And now here he was again, back in this damned Garden. He had almost refused to come at all, had spent three extra days pretending that SeeD had never come. But Squall's name echoed in his head and in the end, he couldn't refuse him.

"And you actually agreed to this?" Xu asked Seifer scathingly, pulling him out of his thoughts. Seifer glanced at Squall a moment, meeting his closed off blue eyes. They neither asked him for help nor challenged him, but silently observed as if waiting to see what he would next have to do. The same look he gave him on the battlefield.

"Yeah," Seifer said, his tone more confident than he felt, and he smirked at Squall when he saw the briefest flicker of relief, then lifted his chin cockily when he focused on Xu and Zell again. "Make sure you spell my name right on the payroll."

\--

Squall opened the door to his double suite and tossed his keys onto the table near the door, sighing heavily as he toed his boots off and then fell back to sit on the couch. Seifer entered and let the door shut behind him, glaring at the brunette silently as Squall closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

The press conference had been a nightmare of cameras and microphones and outrage at the sight of Seifer Almasy, traitor and villain, standing beside Commander Squall Leonhart, son of the President of Esthar and apparently complete idiot.

"You didn't tell anybody about this decision beforehand?" Seifer asked finally, stepping forward. Squall opened his eyes to glare at him.

"Shoes."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No. And I didn't tell anyone anything."

"This explains why that kid didn't seem to know me when he showed up in Fisherman's Horizon last week," Seifer said, not bothering to take off his boots. "You chose someone who wouldn’t be suspicious. What the fuck am I supposed to do as your bodyguard? Why do you even _ need _ a bodyguard?"

"Laguna demanded it as part of our peace agreement."

"Why?"

"Cause I'm his son, apparently."

"No, _ why? _ What happened?"

Squall fell silent and glared to the side. "Nothing."

"Well how the hell am I supposed to protect you if you don't even tell me what I'm up against?" Seifer asked in annoyance. He let his gaze trail around the room briefly when Squall's eyebrows twitched upwards in surprise.

"You'll do it?"

Seifer glared at him, choosing not to reply as he walked toward the bedrooms. The faculty dorm hall was on the second floor, directly above the student dorms, and had a similar layout of single and double room suites.

"Why were you already in a double? Did your last bodyguard die?" Seifer asked, opening the door of the nearest bedroom. Squall's gunblade case and jackets gave away that this was his room. Seifer entered and opened a desk drawer, finding a collection of pens and a couple notebooks. 

"No, I've never had a bodyguard before. They just didn't have any singles open when they moved me up here," Squall answered, getting up and leaning against the door frame to watch Seifer snoop through some of the notebooks. "...I was shot last month and was in critical condition for three days."

Seifer paused to look up at Squall in surprise. "That didn't make the news."

"No, it didn't."

"Where?" Seifer asked and raised his eyebrows when Squall tapped his lower stomach.

"It was a dinner event in Esthar. Someone infiltrated the wait staff and said I was there to corrupt their city. There's an investigation going on right now that perhaps there was involvement from a few of Laguna's political rivals."

Seifer made a thoughtful noise and then left Squall's room, moving to check out the other bedroom. This one was undecorated, untouched for however long Squall had been living here. Squall trailed after him. "That's the only attempt?"

Squall sighed and Seifer glanced over to give him a critical look.

"I've stopped two others in the process."

"Well I see you're as popular as you ever were," Seifer said, smirking at him. He turned to face him fully and crossed his arms. "So why did you choose the guy who's tried to kill you more than anyone else to be by your side?"

Squall hesitated. "I don't know…"

Seifer furrowed his brows, tilting his head a little. "You don't know?"

"Why'd you accept?"

"Maybe I'll step out of the way when the time is right," Seifer said lightly. Squall shrugged. 

"I don't need a bodyguard anyway, so if you don't do the job, doesn't matter to me."

"Sounds like you kind of do need one…" Seifer said critically. "Or maybe I'll give your enemies the info they need to do the job right. Watch them kill you."

"You wouldn't let anyone take that from you," Squall said. "If I die in front of you, you'll be the one to kill me."

"That's true…" Seifer agreed, lowering his voice. Squall clenched his jaw, his heart speeding up, adrenaline rushing through his veins as Seifer dropped his arms and approached him slowly. He stopped way too close to him, invading his personal space as much as possible without touching him. "But I don't think you have a death wish. Did you just miss me?"

Squall felt his face heat up but he kept his mouth shut, staring back at Seifer angrily. It was as good as a confirmation as Seifer was going to get and clearly not a denial. 

"So _ do _ you accept?" Squall asked finally, his blush growing brighter. 

"...Yeah," Seifer murmured. "I won't let anyone touch you but me." Squall's eyes widened a fraction at that phrasing and Seifer smirked. He leaned forward and whispered in Squall's ear. "And if I come for you, I'll give you fair warning."

"Good…" Squall said softly, trying to control his racing heart and not give away that Seifer was bothering him. He swallowed hard and tilted his mouth a little closer to him, letting his breath ghost over his pulse point. No way in hell was he going to let Seifer screw with him unchallenged 24/7 from now until whenever. "Then…" He held back a smile when Seifer tried to play off a shiver, then spoke loud and clear in his ear. "Take your shoes off in the suite."

Seifer jerked back and scowled, rubbing a finger against his ear. Then he grabbed Squall's shoulder and pushed him out of his new bedroom. Squall shrugged him off and left for his own room, flicking Seifer off over his shoulder when he heard him mutter "pain in my ass." 

\--

Squall woke up slowly, recognizing the smell of searing steak. He sat up and shoved a hand into his hair, frowning in confusion. Why the fuck did it smell so good? He blinked after a moment, remembering that Seifer had become his roommate the day before and it seemed like he was making himself right at home. 

Squall’s stomach growled. He got up and snatched a t-shirt off the back of his desk chair and pulled it on as he walked out of his room.

Seifer glanced up from the stove when he heard Squall's door open, catching a generous look at the brunette's toned chest and stomach. Nothing he hadn't seen before, though the purpled bullet scar was new. He let his gaze linger on the V of Squall's pelvis disappearing into the waistband of his low-slung black pajama pants until the t-shirt hid it from view and he suddenly realized this new living arrangement was either going to be heaven or torture. 

"What are you making?" Squall asked, joining him in the small kitchenette, his voice still sleep-soft as he stepped up beside Seifer and looked around him at the skillet full of diced steak and scrambled eggs. 

"Breakfast. Want toast with yours?" Seifer asked, taking in Squall's bedhead. Torture. Definitely. He blinked and focused back down at the food quickly when Squall looked up at him in surprise. 

"You made me some?" 

Seifer glanced at him and grunted in confirmation when he saw the confused look in those perpetually intense eyes. 

"Toast?" He repeated the question.

"…Yeah. Thanks…"

"Mhm."

Squall moved to the coffee maker and got a couple mugs down. "Do you drink coffee?" 

"Yeah,” Seifer replied without looking at him.

"How do you like it?"

"Sweet, with cream," Seifer answered, stirring the breakfast before grabbing the bread out of the fridge and popping a couple of slices in the toaster. 

Squall watched him out of the corner of his eye, trying to be discreet so he wouldn't get caught. Seifer was wearing a form fitting white tank top that showed off his arms and a pair of soft red cotton pants he had probably slept in. Something about his presence was incredibly soothing, like something missing had been returned to his life even better.

"Are you going to need to send for your belongings?" Squall asked, lifting the coffee pot and filling the mugs. 

"Yeah, I'll call Fujin to get some of my smaller things together. I'll need to make a trip out there to get the rest if this is going to be permanent."

Seifer opened a couple cabinets until Squall reached up and revealed the plates.

"Do you really want to do this?" Squall asked, fixing Seifer's mug as Seifer divided up the food and buttered the toast.

"You're gonna pay me, right?" Seifer asked, glancing at him. He watched as Squall took a sip of his coffee to test it, then lifted the mug to Seifer.

"Yeah, you'll get paid well. Is this good?"

Seifer took a sip of the coffee and passed it back. "A little sweeter."

Squall stirred in a little more sugar and tasted it again, wincing. "That's really sweet."

Seifer took the mug from his hand and tried it again. He lowered it and bounced one eyebrow at Squall. "Perfect."

Seifer carried the plates to the kitchen table and Squall swallowed hard, feeling a blush warm the bridge of his nose. He followed after him, carrying both their coffees, and pulled out the seat next to Seifer. They settled in to eat and Squall paused briefly in his first bite, furrowing his brows, and then resumed chewing.

"That's delicious."

Seifer lifted his brows and looked at Squall in surprise. "Thanks… Tastes even better with some salsa. Pick some up next time you're out."

"Okay."

They ate silently and when they finished, Squall took the plates to wash up at the sink.

Seifer watched him from the table while finishing his coffee. This was bad. It had been six months since he'd last seen Squall and at that time he had been getting tried for war crimes. They were all dismissed and he was found innocent when Ellone was able to find traces of magic in his mind influencing his thoughts, but he knew it had only been so easy for Ultimecia to control him because the thoughts were there to begin with. 

That wasn't the problem now, though. That had never been the problem where Squall was concerned. Yes he wanted to kill him, sometimes, but in truth he just wanted to face him, on the battlefield, in the halls and classrooms, and, more than he'd like to admit, in much more private situations. He wanted to get a rise out of the man, wanted to have his full attention.

And right now, on only the first morning, he wanted something he wasn't entirely sure he should risk trying to get. It definitely wasn't professional, not that he had ever been professional. And he wasn't sure Squall was interested, anyway. Getting a little flustered was one thing, it didn't mean he returned the interest. But Squall had been the one to drag Seifer back here after all this time and everything he had done. And all Seifer wanted in this exact moment was to get up, cross the room, and come up behind the other man to slide his arms around his waist and bury his face in his silky looking hair.

Seifer scowled into his coffee. God, he was so fucking gay and it was so fucking annoying. 

"What's the matter?" Squall asked and Seifer looked up to see him leaning against the kitchen counter, frowning at him. Seifer knocked back the last gulp of his coffee. He got up, crossed the room, and brushed past Squall to put his mug in the sink.

"Nothing. I'm going to take a shower. Got spare a spare towel?" 

"Mhm," Squall replied, looking up at him skeptically. 

"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be here," Seifer answered the question he didn't ask, leaning in a little to give Squall a challenging look. Squall stared back, his pupils dilating, and Seifer almost stepped forward to press into his space again. 

Squall's breath shallowed, his heart pounding in sudden anticipation, and then a pounding on the door made them both jump.

Seifer turned away and beat Squall to the door, surprising him. "This is my job, right?" Seifer asked him with a raised eyebrow before he smacked the switch to open the door and scowl at whoever was on the other side, not having to fake his annoyance at being interrupted. His expression darkened when he saw it was Rinoa.

"You're _ really _ here," she said indignantly, her mouth dropping open in shock. "Where's Squall?"

"Busy. What do you want?" Seifer asked, blocking the door. Behind him, Squall watched with annoyed interest, folding his arms as he walked over and leaned against the kitchen table out of sight.

"I want to talk to him, please move," she said, her voice clipped. She put her hands on her hips, not at all menacing even though Seifer knew she could demolish him very quickly if she wanted.

"Nah."

"What?"

"We're not talking visitors. See ya, princess." Seifer pressed to close the door but Rinoa stuck her foot against it, causing it to open again

"It's not up to you! Get Squall right now!"

"No, it's not up to _ you _. Ex-girlfriends aren't on the list."

_ "Excuse _ me?!"

"You're excused, goodbye."

"Seifer," Squall finally spoke up, sighing. "Let her in."

Seifer clicked his tongue and moved away from the door. Rinoa stalked in and approached Squall angrily.

"What is he doing here?? I thought Quistis was joking when she told me and then I saw the press conference!" Rinoa glared up at him, scowling when Seifer moved back into her sight.

"That's none of your-"Squall started.

"You don't think it's my business that the bastard who threw me to Adel is here?!"

Squall closed his mouth and glared at her silently. 

"He tried to kill us half a dozen times, Squall!"

"That was war." Squall said as if that ended the conversation. 

"I cannot believe you!" Rinoa stomped her foot and Squall's eyebrows twitched angrily. "That war was possible largely because of him!"

"And you helped plenty when Ultimecia took control of you," Squall said mildly. Rinoa pulled back, looking betrayed and Squall shrugged. "He was cleared of his crimes, just as you were."

Rinoa shook her head, glaring at Seifer briefly. "Can you leave?"

"Nope," Seifer said easily, sticking his hands in his pajama pants' pockets. 

"I want to talk to Squall privately."

"Too bad. I'm on duty." Seifer smirked at her and Rinoa sighed in frustration, looking back at Squall. 

"Tell him to go away."

Squall glanced at Seifer briefly, then looked back at Rinoa.

"What do you want, Rinoa?"

"I want you to come to your senses! Fine, he wasn't 100% guilty for his crimes and deserves a second chance, but let him have that second chance far away from here."

"I want him here."

"Why?! You're not even friends!" Rinoa stomped her foot again. "You hate each other!"

"No, we don't," Seifer interrupted, scowling.

"Squall hates you," Rinoa said childishly.

"Rinoa, I want you to leave now," Squall said, losing his patience.

"But-!"

"I let you in out of respect for our friendship but if you keep this up, it's going to turn into a diplomatic issue." Seifer glanced at Squall, hearing that same no nonsense tone he used the day before with Xu. Someone was learning not to be yanked around.

Rinoa pressed her lips together and glared at him. "I came here out of concern for you, Squall. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Thanks. But _ that's _ none of your business."

"It is if we're still friends!"

"We're not that kind of friends."

Rinoa looked stung and then shook her head slowly. "Screw you, Squall." She glared at Seifer. "If you do anything to betray us again-"

"Uh huh," Seifer said, moving forward and opening the door. "Time to go."

Rinoa made a noise of frustration and then stalked out of the room. Seifer locked the door behind her, then lifted an eyebrow at Squall.

"Not that kind of friends? Pretty drastic thing to say about someone you almost died in space for," Seifer said with mild interest. "Why'd you two break up, anyway?"

Squall shrugged. "She kept accusing me of cheating on her."

"Did you?"

"Of course not. We weren't working out in general." Squall shook his head dismissively. He wasn't sure why he was explaining this to Seifer of all people when he didn't bother to explain it to anyone else, but for some reason Squall wanted him to know he didn't regret the breakup. "We disagreed on nearly everything and barely wanted to be in the same room together. She dismissed me as her sorceress's knight after I pulled an all nighter working with Quistis on a trade agreement and we broke up that week. She's been dating Nida for two months now, I think?"

"All I'm hearing is the sex sucked," Seifer said, grinning like a cat. Squall scowled at him and Seifer laughed. "Am I right?"

"Go take your shower."

"What's the matter, couldn't get it up for her? Maybe she had the wrong equipment." Seifer bounced his eyebrows at him.

"Fuck off," Squall said, rolling his eyes. He pushed away from the table and Seifer slapped his ass as he passed, causing Squall to swat him away in annoyance. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so very much for the kudos and comments on the first chapter! I'm not comfortable responding to people individually, but I sincerely appreciate every heart and message. They make me feel really happy about sharing my daydreams.
> 
> This is a short chapter and kind of filler-y, but I wanted to get something up and I liked the energy of these scenes.
> 
> Also, in this story it's been 6 months since the end of the game and I'm going to say the war only lasted 3 months, so it's been 9 months since Seifer left Balamb to join Edea/Ultimecia.

It was some kind of divine justice, Seifer was pretty certain, that he had willingly come back to Balamb in order to be tortured for Squall Leonhart's sake. The only way it could be more poetic was if Squall was here himself, giving the command for every beating and cruel trial. Karma for everything Seifer had done to him during the war. But he was informed Squall knew nothing about the past week's initiation rites to becoming his bodyguard and Seifer was going to keep it that way.

The first two days had been grueling. Esthar and Balamb were working together to test Seifer's limits, but Seifer suspected it was really Esthar that had designed the initiation just for him. He knew there was nothing like this in becoming a SeeD. The first two days featured fitness tests and survival simulations, and Seifer was so damned glad he hadn't gotten soft in the six months since the war ended. Part of him suspected that whoever was running his drills was testing his spirit as much as his body, seeing what it would take to get him to quit. That thought just spurred him on more. He might be a failure, but he wasn't a fucking quitter.

The next two days made him seriously reconsider that, though. Physically, he felt like he could handle anything. Mentally, he wasn't so confident. The fitness tests were replaced by psych exams and several visits from Ellone--a woman Seifer had hoped to never see again for the rest of time.

They sat opposite of each other in a small room much like a police interrogation and Seifer was strapped to a chair, just like the last time he had seen the bitch. This time, she smiled at him softly, apologetically, unlike the first time where she had faced him like the enemy he was while preparing for his war trial. But the kindness in her eyes was a lie and when she touched his mind, it was worse than the trial. Back then she had only been searching for evidence. Now, she was a test, too.

Seifer understood why he was strapped down when he felt Ultimecia's voice in his head, planted there by Ellone. He understood what was happening when he felt the strange but familiar dull ache, when he saw fake images and regretful memories mix behind his eyes, but even knowing it wasn't real at the beginning, by the end he was certain the woman across from him was the time witch herself. They didn't let him return to his room after that and left him to fall asleep sitting upright, still strapped in that chair. This should have warned him of what was to come, but he couldn't think clearly after Ellone's trials. She knelt in front of him when they were over and promised him that he passed whatever dark temptations she had offered him. But he closed his eyes and didn't care.

They woke him with a crack across his jaw on the fifth day and began the torture training in earnest.

Mentally weak, physically drained, this was to test his loyalty, his endurance, his willingness to die without spilling a secret. For Squall Leonhart. 

Six months was such a short time and yet Seifer felt like he had lived for so long in that time. He had spent so many nights awake, replaying every decision in his head, trying to figure out where Ultimecia's control had begun and where his own thoughts ended, wondering more than a thousand times if Squall would have caved to her like he had. He knew he wouldn't have. He hadn't, after all. He had fought her and won. He had fought through Seifer to win. 

Seifer's clearest thought through the whole war and in his too-normal life after was that if he was ever going to die, Squall Leonhart was going to have to kill him himself. He wouldn't fall to any other blade or spell. Even if they put him on the execution block, he wouldn't die unless Squall was pulling that lever. He had lied when he told Squall he never expected to see him again. The truth was he had expected to only ever see him one more time. Coming back to Balamb, he had been half convinced he was walking to his grave. Finding out Squall didn't want to finally finish him off had been a shock, but it didn't change that one truth for him. Squall was his grim reaper, so these torture sessions by other people, eager to punish him for his crimes he was cleared of in the guise of testing him, ultimately meant nothing. Half drowned, shocked by electricity, and beaten until he was physically broken, Seifer just grinned in the faces of his nameless torturers and spat a wad of bloody saliva directly in their ring leader's eye after telling him to stop with the foreplay and fuck him up right.

Then it was over. He was permitted a ten minute shower, allowed to change into clean clothes, and was sent to Kadowaki for rough healing after that, followed by the disgusted announcement that he passed all the tests.

When he finally made it back to his dorm, he found Squall laying on the couch with his arms crossed over his chest, watching TV in the dark. In the blue glow of the television, Seifer met Squall's intense, quiet gaze, and the brunet sat up, taking in his battered state.

"Do you want food?"

Seifer shook his head and kicked off his boots by the door, then walked over and dropped on the sofa heavily next to Squall, close enough that their thighs pressed together. 

Squall hesitated, taking in the fading bruise across Seifer's nose that meant it had been broken and healed, the exhausted look to his face as he stared blankly at whatever Squall had found on TV. 

It had been a frustrating week, especially when Seifer had stopped coming home. Squall began demanding to see the man after the second night, getting blocked by Estharian soldiers. No amount of fighting with Laguna and Cid changed things over the next few days, but they both promised him that reports from the assessment teams were coming back positive. Looking at the man beside him now, Squall felt a dark fury building up in him. Would they have treated a random SeeD however they treated Seifer? 

Seifer's eyes slid away from the TV and calmly met Squall's glare. He smirked slightly at the hostile energy coming off the brunet before clearing his throat quietly to speak.

"I'm good."

"Are you?" Squall asked, his voice tense.

"Yeah…" Seifer hesitated a long moment before confessing, "They showed me she can't get to me anymore…"

Squall's anger faltered at that, recognizing the tired relief in Seifer's voice. After a long moment, he slowly sat back, resting his shoulder against Seifer's as they kept looking at each other.

"Good job…" Squall said finally, quiet and sincere. Seifer chuckled softly and tipped his head back, closing his eyes as he leaned into Squall a little harder, feeling strange. 

"Are you sure you don't want food? There's stuff in the fridge for you."

Seifer blinked his eyes open at that and tilted his head to look at Squall.

"You cooked?"

"I ordered in," Squall said and raised both eyebrows when Seifer scowled at him.

"Ordered in from where?"

"A couple places in Balamb?"

"That's a real easy way to get poisoned, Leonhart," Seifer snapped and Squall blinked in surprise. "Do you mind not making my job easier by dying when I'm not around?"

"It's just to-go food," Squall said skeptically. "What are you going to do, taste test my food from now on?"

"If I don't make it for you, you don't eat it," Seifer growled and Squall's eyes widened.

"Are you serious? What about at dinner events?"

"You mean the kind where you were shot?" Seifer asked, his tone harsh. Squall pressed his lips together in irritation but didn't reply. They glared at each other for a long moment before Seifer untensed a little. "I'll do background checks on all event staff from now on. If I say you don't eat, though, you don't eat."

"They already do background checks-"

"Clearly not thoroughly enough." 

Squall sighed heavily and focused on the TV so he wouldn't have to look at Seifer for a moment. He hadn't been paying any attention to it earlier and was a little surprised by what he saw. He blushed at the same time he heard Seifer's incredulous voice.

"What the fuck are you watching?"

Squall clenched his jaw in embarrassment and Seifer busted out laughing at the toddler show on the screen featuring a very obnoxious baby-voiced chocobo asking what love was.

\--

Squall had managed to get Seifer to move to his bedroom instead of passing out on the couch, and wasn't surprised in the least when his bodyguard didn't wake up in the morning. He left Seifer to sleep, wanting him to rest after what he now realized was a disturbingly inhumane week, and snuck out of their suite to hunt down Cid.

"You told me the tests were going well," he said bitterly in the headmaster's office. 

"They went extremely well," Cid said, adjusting his glasses. 

"They tortured him," Squall said harshly. "Were you aware of what he was going through?"

"No. What did he tell you?"

"Nothing, I could see it in his face when he came back," Squall said, putting a hand on his hip. Restrained fury was boiling in his blood. For four days he had been demanding to see Seifer and they kept telling him everything was fine. "How could you let them treat one of your students like that?"

"Seifer is not my student," Cid said calmly, as if he didn't know the man from any other soldier. Squall narrowed his eyes. "He is your bodyguard, and per the peace agreement with Esthar, he was subjugated to their most rigorous assessment. He passed. You should feel safer now, the tests proved he's loyal to you."

"I already knew he was loyal to me!" Squall snapped.

"No one else did," Cid sighed. He removed his glasses and leaned back in his chair. "Squall, you seem to be suggesting Seifer can't do his job effectively."

"I know he can."

"Then why are you trying to protect him? Everything in the assessment was something that could happen as your bodyguard. If he can handle it, you don't need to be here defending him. If he can't, he shouldn't be you guard."

Squall glared at the headmaster, feeling a familiar resentment whenever Cid talked circles around his actions, making excuses. Why should it surprise him that the man could justify using torture against one of his ex-students? He had raised that very student from childhood to die for his cause. What did he expect from the older man? Sentimentality? Empathy?

"You're right," Squall said slowly, hating the patronizing smile on Cid's face. "He's not your student. And he's not one of Esthar's soldiers, so screw their regulations. He's my guard. The next time anyone harms him under the farce that they're testing his loyalty, I'll recognize it as a direct attack on my safety and treat such an attack as I would from any party."

Cid's smile slowly morphed into a cold frown, a look Squall was starting to get used to seeing from the Garden staff since the end of the war. He didn't care if he was being insubordinate. If they wanted a war hero who smiled and bowed his head, they should have found someone else to win for them.

"…Well he's passed the assessment. I don't believe you'll have any more issues," Cid said flatly. Squall nodded once, then left, heading back to his dorm.

\--

Seifer jolted awake with a loud shout that was immediately followed by Squall smacking his door open and looking in with alarm. When both of them looked around the room to see no danger, Seifer fell back and rubbed his eyes, groaning heavily. Squall eyed him carefully for a moment and then wordlessly left the room to return to the kitchen. 

When Seifer finally dragged himself out of bed a few minutes later, he saw he was still dressed in his vest and slacks. His coat had been neatly folded over his chair and his necklace was laid out on his desk. Something about his jewelry being removed felt incredibly intimate and goosebumps rose on his skin just imagining Squall's fingers tracing along his neck. 

Seifer shook the sensation off and left his room to go into the restroom. He caught a glance of Squall in the kitchen as he passed and when he was finished brushing his teeth and washing his face, he found the brunet standing in front of a pot on the stove.

"What the hell is that?" Seifer asked, coming up next to Squall to look at the congealed white mush in the pot. Squall frowned, glancing at him.

"Potato soup…"

Seifer turned his head to raised an eyebrow at his roommate. 

"…Mashed potatoes?" Squall tried again. Seifer raised both eyebrows and Squall sighed heavily, crossing his arms. "Whatever. Can I order in?"

"No," Seifer said. He took the wooden spoon out of the pot and lifted it to his face, but Squall grabbed his wrist tightly, glaring at Seifer silently. He felt his face heat up as Seifer looked at him again.

"What? It can't be that bad, maybe we can save it."

"Let's go to the cafeteria instead."

Seifer tried to lift the spoon again but Squall tightened his hold on his wrist. Finally Seifer rolled his eyes and put the spoon back. 

"I'll just cook something new."

Squall grimaced and let go of his wrist. "I was trying to save you the trouble since you had a long week."

A grin slowly lifted the corners of Seifer's mouth. "Did you make this for me?"

Squall instantly scowled. "No. You've been passed out for almost twenty hours since you got home and I'm starving."

Seifer's grin widened and he leaned against the counter, folding his arms.

"So why didn't you just make a sandwich for yourself? I know there's lunchmeat in the fridge."

"..." Squall’s bitter expression didn’t flicker

"I think you- hey!" Seifer cut himself off as Squall turned away from him and went to grab his jacket off the hook near the door and put his boots on. "Where are you going?"

"To the cafeteria. I'm not in the mood for a sandwich or…potatoes."

"Not without me, you're not," Seifer said, following him. Squall lifted his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Are you kidding? It's just to the cafeteria."

"I don't care. Esthar said my job is to-"

"You don't work for Esthar," Squall said harshly all of a sudden, startling Seifer. "You're not on Balamb's payroll, either. I pay you out of pocket. You work for me and me alone. Don't follow anyone else's orders. And I'm responsible for following the peace agreement, not you, so don't worry about potentially breaking it."

Seifer studied Squall carefully, frowning slightly at his outburst. He wasn't on Balamb's payroll? Would that have been the case with any other bodyguard? Then, what was this really? A way for Squall to lord power over him?

"If someone attacks you when I'm supposed to be protecting you and I'm not around, it's going to look pretty fucking bad for me," Seifer said carefully.

"I'll explain that I ordered you to let me go alone."

"How are you supposed to explain that if you're dead?" Seifer snapped, getting irritated. Squall gave him a dry look.

"I'm not going to be killed in my own Garden," he said impatiently.

"I bet you thought you weren't going to be shot at a high security dinner event, either. Three days in critical condition, right? How close a call was it really?"

Squall glared at Seifer, clenching his jaw a little and Seifer scoffed.

"Are you serious? How bad, Leonhart?"

"..."

"You better fucking tell me or I'll-"

"I flatlined."

Seifer felt his blood run cold at those simple, brutal words and he stared at Squall tensely. Squall glared back. He lifted his chin warily when Seifer stepped in closer, suddenly quiet in a way that meant he was furious, pushing his finger into Squall's chest.

"You don't go anywhere without me. Not to the cafeteria, not the library, not the fucking public toilet."

Squall scowled and he knocked Seifer's hand away.

"I don't take orders from you, Almasy."

"Then fire me right now, because there's no fucking way I'm going to have your death on my record or my conscience."

They stared one another down, Seifer absolutely livid, and Squall clenched his jaw tightly at what the blond had just implied.

"Like you'd give a shit if I died," Squall hissed, his blue eyes fierce. The muscles around Seifer's eyes flinched, almost imperceptibly. 

"Fuck you," Seifer spat out softly, defensive even though he knew Squall had every right. He had strung him up after all, after being nearly mortally wounded. He had made him scream in ways that would haunt his nightmares for the rest of his life. Sometimes he thought he could still smell the scent of electricity in the air from that day, clinging to him like a sickness he would never fully recover from. Had he thought Squall had understood? That even in wanting to destroy him during the war, he would have had to destroy himself too and didn't actually want that for either of them?

Squall looked down first, seeing something he didn't like in Seifer's eyes, regretting his words instantly. It had been a low blow, one he never meant to deliver. If Seifer had wanted him dead during the war, he would have killed him. It was as simple as that and he knew it. Likewise if Squall wanted Seifer dead. He should apologize. That's what Quistis, Rinoa, Selphie, and Zell always harped on him about--being more honest with his feelings, speaking up. But it had never been that way with Seifer and it wouldn't feel right to apologize to him now. Ever. And he definitely didn't want an apology from the other man, _ ever. _

"I'll pack my bags," Seifer muttered angrily and moved to walk past Squall. Squall let him check his shoulder roughly, then he turned and caught Seifer's arm. He glared at him when Seifer looked back with a nasty expression.

"I didn't dismiss you," Squall said quietly, defensive. Seifer eyed him with hostility.

"Maybe I quit."

"You didn't go through that week to quit on the first day," Squall said, almost accusingly. Seifer scowled at him.

"Maybe it wasn't worth it."

Upset with how this was going, Squall finally snapped, "I made the fucking potato soup for you!"

He let go of Seifer and shoved his hand into his hair, looking away as he felt his face flush bright red. He gripped the hair at the back of his neck, nervous and angry.

Seifer blinked in surprise and relaxed almost instantly, watching Squall get flustered and frustrated. The tightness that was building in his chest released and he drifted forward a little until he stopped himself from moving into Squall's personal space. Then he exhaled heavily and looked back at the kitchen.

"Then I get to taste it," Seifer said bluntly and Squall grimaced. Seifer looked at him flatly and walked past him to return to the pot.

"I don't know how to cook," Squall said with irritation. 

"I can see that," Seifer muttered. He lifted the spoon and took a bite without giving Squall a chance to say anything else. Seifer scrunched his face a little, furrowing his brows as he looked at Squall. "Were you following a recipe?"

Squall gestured angrily at a cookbook laid out on the other side of the kitchen, refusing to meet Seifer's eye. Seifer walked over and skimmed the page briefly. Then he shook his head, lifting an eyebrow. 

"I have no idea how you messed this up."

Squall folded his arms. "Whatever."

Seifer glanced back at the sullen commander, feeling more tension leave his shoulders. He made sure the stove was off and walked up to Squall, finally getting his attention again as the other man looked up at him warily.

"Why am I paid by you directly and not on Balamb's payroll?" Seifer asked. Squall frowned a little, not expecting that question.

"I had that as part of my addition to the peace treaty so no one could fire you."

"And so no one else could give me orders?"

"I didn't really think that would be a problem until this morning, but that's an added benefit," Squall said, scowling to the side. 

"What happened this morning?" Seifer asked and Squall sighed. 

"Nothing."

Before Seifer could prod further, Squall's stomach interrupted loudly. Seifer barked out a laugh as Squall turned red.

"Fine, we can go to the cafeteria" Seifer relented, smirking easily. Squall glared at him, but relaxed at the underlying message that Seifer would stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it ❤ 
> 
> (If the story officially said Seifer was on Balamb's payroll in the first chapter, I'll change it during my next re-read. It wasn't planned until I saw Squall get so mad at Cid lol.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fast update! I'm probably going to try to get some writing done for Winter in Winhill next.

Squall sat at the large oak table in the Balamb conference room, leaning his head on his fist as he tried to pay attention to Laguna rambling on about the Trabia restoration efforts. Agreements and plans had already been finalized, but once Laguna started talking about his passion projects, he never shut up. Squall was finding it harder to pay attention to his enthusiastic suggestions of redesigning the garden as an actual flower, which made him wonder if Selphie had been talking to him lately. Instead of listening, Squall's attention kept drifting to the blonde man standing at the ready near the door. 

They were into their second week living together and it was strangely restful having his rival back, especially now that he was sleeping in their suite every night instead of getting tortured in Hyne knew what ways. Squall still felt silent anger simmering under his skin wondering what they had put Seifer through, but he couldn't bring himself to ask and Seifer acted like that whole last week never happened. Or tried to. It was subtle, but Squall knew the man well enough to know when he was stressed out. Some of the careless ease during those first days had been replaced with a subdued seriousness. Seifer still joked and snapped at him all the same, but there was a strange lingering look in his eye now. It wasn't the usual sneer, but something more contemplative.

Or those first days had been all bravado since Seifer was facing a strange, possibly hostile situation and this was his natural state now, after the war. He had nightmares, after all. Almost every night. He was a different man somewhere inside his heart.

Every time Seifer woke up shouting, Squall would hesitate only a moment before he rolled out of bed and went to his room, opening the door without knocking to glance around and give Seifer, sweating and glaring at him as he sat hunched on his bed, a brief nod that everything looked good before returning back to his own room. Neither of them would mention the occurrence the next day. Squall wondered if Seifer was pissed he kept checking on him, but every time it happened, he couldn't stop himself from going over, just to at least show him he wasn't alone if the nightmares followed him out of his sleep.

In the conference room now, Seifer glanced over and caught Squall staring at him. He winked and Squall had the urge to walk out of the meeting and go train with him. They still hadn't had a chance to fight together yet. But instead, he just blinked at Seifer and kept staring at him mildly. 

Seifer scrunched his nose up for a second and Squall still didn't react. Then the blonde glanced around the room to be sure no one was looking at him before he pulled a face at him, a kind of mock-snarl. Squall let his gaze drift back to Laguna briefly to appear as if he was still listening, but then glanced back at Seifer to see him pretending to fall asleep. Squall's expression finally flickered just the slightest with a twitch of his lips and Seifer grinned at him in victory. Squall abruptly pulled his gaze away, hoping he didn't start blushing.

When Seifer had called him out about Rinoa after her visit the week before, Squall had felt panic rising in him. He himself had barely understood why he couldn't initiate things with Rinoa the right way while they were dating. He only knew that he just wasn't interested in the sex. That wasn't where their problems started, he had been telling the truth when he said he and Rinoa couldn't get along, even before they tried taking the next step, but now with Seifer staying in close proximity, Squall was starting to face some very uncomfortable realizations, the biggest one being that he couldn't always control his reactions around him. 

Was he gay? Was that it? He glanced down the table, trying to evaluate the other men talking around him. Kiros was handsome, he could acknowledge that, but that didn't light a fire in his veins. Neither did he feel anything when looking at any of the other council members sitting in on the meeting, male or female. He had never really taken an interest in anyone else's body before, had always been too busy to care. Seifer was the only one he had paid much attention to, studying him over the years as the only other gunblade specialist in Garden, always trying to best him. He only ever felt any kind of thrill when meeting that chaotic look in those green eyes or feeling their bodies reach their breaking points during a fight.

When Seifer asked Squall if he missed him, he couldn't say no. The moment he had seen him in the classroom that first day back, Squall finally felt like he was…home again. He had really won the war. That annoying, frustrating blond presence was back and he was so glad… 

Squall looked up at Seifer again and felt disappointed that he was looking forward once more, no longer playing. What would it take to get his attention again?

"Squall?" Laguna said, snapping him back to attention. "Your thoughts?"

Squall furrowed his brows, looking at the President and trying not to appear as embarrassed as he felt getting caught daydreaming. "I'll want to see a comprehensive document so I can review it before making any decisions."

"It's… It's just an informal event, though…" Laguna said awkwardly and Seifer had to cover his snort of laughter with a rough cough.

Squall shrugged like that didn't change his answer and Laguna nodded, sighing. 

"Alright, I'll send the details to Quistis, then. Let's go ahead and end the meeting here for today." 

Squall got up, sighing in relief. It seemed like more and more he was being called into these administrative meetings under the guise they had something to do with military work. He was beginning to suspect Cid just didn't want to attend himself anymore.

Squall pushed in his chair and looked up in surprise when a man with a long blond braid approached him unexpectedly as the rest of the room cleared out.

"Hello, I wanted to introduce myself," the man said warmly, his voice smooth. He was beautiful and elegant with a lean stature, dressed in a black suit. A man who had probably never seen war up close in his life. He looked to be a few years older than Squall, maybe twenty-two. Squall frowned at him. "I'm Jaspe, one of Esthar's senators."

Jaspe lifted his hand and Squall glanced down at it, not accepting the handshake. He narrowed his eyes when the other man laughed softly.

"They said you were difficult to get to know. That's fine, I like a challenge." Jaspe unexpectedly lifted his hand higher, confusing Squall briefly. "My, your eyes are even more-"

Before Jaspe could touch Squall's jaw, Seifer gripped the newcomer's wrist and stopped him, his voice a low growl.

"Touch him and die."

Jaspe frowned, startled. "This man is yours? I was wondering who let his guard dog inside the meeting room."

Jaspe pulled his hand back and Seifer let him go, standing next to Squall protectively. Jaspe smirked a little, a mean glint coming to his eyes.

"So you're the disgraced knight?"

Squall shifted in front of Seifer before he could respond, crossing his arms, and stared Jaspe down silently, his expression stern. Jaspe smiled lightly.

"Who's protecting who here?" Jaspe asked innocently.

"Don't insult him," Squall said plainly. Jaspe raised both eyebrows, amused. 

"If your guard can't take some criticism, he won't last."

"If you insult him, you insult me."

"Is _ that _how it is?" Jaspe asked slyly, his lips lifting in another smile, cold this time. "Well, at least I wasn't wrong about you. I'll find you next time we meet and maybe we can talk privately then."

Jaspe inclined his head a little in farewell before he turned away and headed for the door. Seifer glared at his back the entire time before scowling down at Squall. "I'm never letting you be alone with him."

"Fine by me," Squall said with annoyance toward the senator and Seifer's shoulders relaxed a little.

"Can we get out of here now?" 

"Absolutely," Squall said and led the way out of the conference room.

\--

"If you go out like that, people are going to recognize you immediately," Seifer said flatly, crossing his arms and giving Squall's reflection a dry look as the brunet finished brushing his teeth. Squall rinsed his mouth and looked up at Seifer in the mirror as he dried his face, pausing as he took in his appearance. He turned around and furrowed his brows at the sight of his old rival in soft gray jeans, a dark red zip up hoodie with the sleeves pushed up, and a black baseball cap. Only his necklace and his boots remained from his usual style. Seifer quirked a challenging eyebrow at him. "What?"

"Nothing…" Squall murmured, frowning. 

"Change into something casual, this isn't a mission."

"It always feels like it," Squall muttered, but he left the bathroom and Seifer gave him space to move before following him to his bedroom.

"That's because you always look like Commander Squall Leonhart when you leave Garden."

"It's not like paparazzi follow me around," Squall said as he hung his jacket over his desk chair, rolling his eyes. He briefly dug through his dresser, then shrugged his leather pants off his hips and pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans. 

"Are you dense or just oblivious?" Seifer asked critically. 

Squall shot him a nasty glare but didn't reply. He pulled on a dark forest-green knit sweater over his white t-shirt. When his head was free, a small PDA was thrust in his face, the bright screen showing him a picture of himself waiting at the Balamb train station. The picture was probably a couple months old, taken completely without his knowledge.

"What the hell is that?"

"How disconnected are you? You've been posted all over discussion boards since the war ended and wireless communication came back." Seifer clicked a few buttons on the PDA, showing Squall more photos of himself. Squall grimaced. "And this isn't half as bad as the gossip magazines."

"I never see anyone following me…"

Seifer drew his PDA back and studied the screen. "No one has to follow you, they just have to recognize you. Everyone has a camera on them these days and photos of the Second Sorceress War Hero go for a pretty good price to the right publications. I bet I could make a couple thousand gil if I took a picture of your underwear drawer." Seifer clicked a button and the PDA made a camera shutter noise, perfectly capturing the appalled surprise on Squall's face. Squall scowled at the sound and gently brushed Seifer's hand away from him.

"You wouldn't."

Seifer smirked and bounced an eyebrow at him. "I can silence that noise so you never know when I'm taking pictures."

"Knock it off," Squall said, rolling his eyes, not taking the bait. Seifer chuckled and slipped the PDA in his pocket, then pulled his hat off and settled it on Squall's head, backwards. He snickered at Squall's surprisingly cute glare.

"You look like a loser."

Squall scowled and yanked the hat off, only to sigh heavily when Seifer took it and forced it back on his head, properly facing forward this time. 

"You know, you don't have to take this job so seriously," Squall snapped a little. "I can manage without you, so having you around makes me untouchable, right? All of this is over precautious."

Seifer sobered a little, scanning Squall's eyes for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then he shrugged and turned away to head for the front door. "Makes my job easier if no one approaches you in the first place."

Squall sighed and trailed after him, pausing to put his boots on at the door.

\--

Seifer leaned on the shopping cart, watching his rival-turned-enemy-turned-roommate browsing the frozen section of the grocery store. Hyne, he was gorgeous… Even in his casual civilian attire, he stood out, the subtle power in his posture impossible to hide. And he studied everything so critically with those sharp eyes, like he didn't know how to look at the world without analyzing it strategically. Seifer knew that Squall hadn’t been easily photographed because he never saw his hidden paparazzi as a threat. It was the opposite. He knew the brunet saw _ everyone _ as a threat. It was just that Squall didn't realize how alluring he was and that there were threats other than blades or bullets to worry about. 

Seifer let his thoughts drift back to their conversation in the suite thirty minutes earlier. Squall was wrong, Seifer did have to take this job seriously. It was true that at first he thought it would be an easy gig just hanging around the commander as a show, not as a real necessity. But his self-realization during the torture assessment and Squall's own words kept coming back to haunt him.

_ "I flatlined." _

Seifer only remembered bits and pieces of the end of the war--deep feelings of desperation and worthlessness, of hopelessness and bitter inevitability. Fujin and Raijin had given him every brutal detail at his request, disgusting him with his own patheticness. Had he known from the first moment he joined Edea that he would lose in the end? Probably. He had known he wouldn't kill Squall, after all. And he had known Squall wouldn't stop following orders unless he was dead. And he had trusted Squall wouldn't die. He remembered that much, that strange faith. Yes, he would lose the war, and yes, Squall would win. Because no one was allowed to kill Squall except Seifer. That was how they both would end, at each other's blades or for each other's sake. Not that Squall would ever die for his sake, but that just meant Squall would never die.

Or so Seifer had thought. 

_ "I flatlined." _

Squall choose a box of chicken alfredo from the freezer and studied the nutritional content critically, then lifted an eyebrow in surprise.

"I can make that for you with half the sodium and fat," Seifer said mildly, purposefully sounding bored. He resisted the smile that tugged at his lips when Squall glared at him a little.

"I need things I can eat when you're busy."

"You're assuming I'm ever going to leave your side."

"Then I'm going to need things I can eat after I murder you."

Seifer did grin at that. Squall put the frozen meal back in the freezer and selected a couple grilled chicken and vegetables options instead, identical to the three boxes Seifer had seen at home already.

"Aren't you bored of that?"

"It's semi-healthy calories, it doesn't need to be interesting."

"Hyne," Seifer muttered, walking up to him to take the boxes away and stuff them back in the freezer. 

"Hey…"

"I'm going to teach you how to cook," Seifer said, leaving no room for argument.

"I don't care enough to learn how to cook," Squall argued, of course. 

"I don't care that you don't care." 

Someone entered the aisle and Seifer shifted casually to block Squall from their view. 

Squall glanced between the other side of the aisle and his bodyguard, mildly surprised again at how naturally Seifer pulled off the protective move. He had been doing this during their entire shopping trip and Squall wasn't entirely sure Seifer was even aware of it. 

"Let's go, I'm taking over now and we're buying real food."

"Whatever," Squall said, rolling his eyes. They left the frozen aisle and Seifer lead them around to pick up pasta, rice, soup stock, various sauces and pastes, some steak and chicken, and a large pile of vegetables and fruit.

"When did you learn to cook?" Squall asked, eyeing the growing heap in the cart. Usually when he came to the store, he'd buy enough frozen and canned goods to get him by when he wasn't in the mood for cafeteria food. He could manage basic stuff like eggs or steak, which only required flipping them over on a skillet, but if it was more complicated than that, Squall seemed painfully incapable of making anything appetizing. He glanced at Seifer a little bitterly, suddenly realizing this was a skill where he couldn't beat his rival.

"Hm? Kadowaki taught me when I was fifteen," Seifer said distractedly, sorting through the tomatoes for a good one. "She brought me some of her soup when I got sent to the infirmary for the flu and I drove her nuts until she showed me how to make it. Then she realized she could sit back and relax while I cooked dinner for her and taught me everything she could. I used to go to her suite once a week to make dinner."

Squall blinked at Seifer as he bagged a couple of acceptable tomatoes and moved on to the avocados. He tried to process the mental image of Seifer and Dr. Kadowaki standing side by side at a stove. "I didn't know you two were close."

Seifer raised a wary eyebrow at him, but then ignored his comment and went back to shopping.

"Have you seen her since you've been back?" Squall pried. He inwardly cringed at his nosiness but he couldn’t resist the question.

"Saw her after the assessment last week…" Seifer said evasively. Squall watched him carefully and Seifer finally glared at him. "What?"

Squall frowned and looked away, not knowing how to get more information without it sounding like an interrogation or gossip. It was Seifer's business and Squall had no right to-

"She's pissed at me," Seifer muttered, interrupting Squall's thoughts. Squall flicked his gaze back over and saw Seifer glowering harshly at a display of cherries, his hand on his hip. "Like, really pissed. She said she won't forgive me for the war. Said she raised me better than that."

"Raised?" Squall murmured in surprise, then closed his mouth when Seifer shot him an angry look. Instead of replying again, Seifer turned away to finish shopping, his body language clearly saying the conversation was over.

They made their way through the checkout line a few minutes later and Squall brushed off Seifer's attempt to pay half, earning a disdainful snort from the blond when he reminded him it was part of his pay.

\--

Seifer leaned back in his chair, glaring down at the folder in his hands that Squall had passed to him at the start of the SeeD meeting despite everyone else's clear displeasure. Quistis, Zell, Irvine, Selphie, Rinoa, Nida, and Xu were all seated around the conference table, either scowling at Seifer openly or pretending he wasn't there.

"I'm just going to say it," Irvine announced easily. "Seifer doesn't belong here, and giving him that folder is a massive security breach."

"He passed his assessments," Squall said bluntly, lifting a cup of coffee to his lips as he reviewed his own folder. 

"Yeah, I don't give a fuck about that," Irvine said with amusement. "He's the ex-commander-in-chief of the Galbadian army and he tried to slice my head off the last time I saw him."

"My apologies to everyone who knows you for failing," Seifer said snidely, unable to hold the comment back.

"Knock it off, Seifer," Squall said coolly and Seifer focused on the file again, trying not to blush at being scolded. There was that commander's tone Squall had developed. Cold, unaffected, and unrelenting. Squall looked at Irvine. "He passed the assessments and he has security clearance."

"I agree with Irvine!" Zell said heatedly, suddenly shoving to his feet like he couldn't hold himself back anymore. "He's the enemy, Squall! No one wants him here!"

"He's not a SeeD, maybe he should stand outside the door," Xu added and Nida and Selphie nodded uncomfortably.

"They're right, Squall," Rinoa said, frowning at him. "He may have been found not guilty, but that doesn't mean he's our ally."

"He's going to be with me on any missions I take," Squall said and Seifer could hear his patience thinning, barely noticeable but clear as hell if anyone knew what to listen for. "He needs to be briefed so that he can be prepared."

"So brief him on your own time. We didn't agree to welcome him back just because you did," Irvine said, finally showing his own irritation. 

Everyone around the table blinked when Squall set his coffee mug down and stood up. Then he headed for the door wordlessly.

"Where are you going?" Rinoa asked hotly, getting to her feet too.

"Squall-" Xu started, but Squall smacked the door switch open and turned back to look at everyone with disapproval.

"Have the meeting without me. You can brief _ me _ afterward."

"You need to be here," Quistis said, finally speaking up, looking at Squall tensely.

"Then _ Seifer _ needs to be here. Just as anybody else I chose would have to attend and participate in mission meetings," Squall suddenly snapped, his voice controlled but harsh. "Two other people in here aren't officially SeeDs, so rethink your excuses."

"I'm not making excuses," Irvine interrupted. "I just don't like the bastard."

"S-same…" Zell said, though he was less adamant now that Squall was leaving. 

"We should vote!" Selphie said suddenly, bouncing in her seat. Seifer rolled his eyes, already knowing how that suggestion was going to end.

"This isn't a democracy," Squall said, scowling. "This is a mercenary business. Most of you passed SeeD knowing you would have to work with people you might not always get along with or like. The rest of you don't have any fucking say in Balamb business. All of you can either get your heads out of your asses and act more professional, or you can submit a formal request that I step down as commander."

Seifer's eyebrows shot up in shock. Nida gasped and Xu rubbed her temples. When Squall turned on his heel and walked out, Seifer quickly got up and followed him, catching up to him halfway down the hall.

"Are you crazy?" Seifer whispered harshly, grabbing Squall's arm. Squall stopped to glare at him. "If they remove you as commander-"

"What?" Squall snapped quietly, keeping his voice low despite being furious all of a sudden. Seifer scanned his eyes as he continued, surprised by this outburst more than anything else so far, including his initial request to be his bodyguard. "I'll finally have some _ fucking _ peace? I'll be allowed to make my own goddamn decisions that don't have monumental consequences that I never agreed to carry? I do _ everything _ they say. They told me to win the war, I _ did. _ They told me I have to stay as commander, _ fine. _ But I'm allowed to have one fucking thing, aren't I? They told me to choose whoever I wanted, I wanted _ you. _ If they have a problem with that, they can fuck off."

Seifer straightened a little, tilting his head as if to see Squall in a new light, keeping his mouth closed as he heard footsteps hurry up behind him. Squall clenched his jaw, finally realizing what he just said, and glanced past Seifer to focus on Quistis as she stopped beside them. She hesitated as both their eyes landed on her and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I-I voted that we accept Seifer…" she said awkwardly. 

"...This isn't a democracy," Squall repeated, but his tone was mild, his anger deflating to be replaced with embarrassment at losing his cool.

"You have us vote on everything else, Squall!" Selphie piped up behind Seifer, glaring at them chidingly as they all looked over at her. She easily shifted into a cheerful smile. "And I voted to keep him, too!"

"If it's you and Seifer or nothing, I'll vote to keep you as well" Xu said tiredly, walking up to them. "Please stop trying to quit your position. I have to file a report every time you do."

"Then just let me quit for real," Squall said, crossing his arms and refusing to look at Seifer as he blushed.

"You know I can't," Xu said, shaking her head. She eyed Seifer skeptically. "You better be worth all this trouble, Seifer."

"I'm touched you're giving me a chance, instructor," Seifer said with false sincerity.

"I'm not. I'm giving you a warning," Xu said pleasantly.

Nida appeared before Seifer could reply again. "Rinoa, Zell, and Irvine have agreed to continue the meeting with Seifer present…" He hesitated. "But Zell demands that Seifer's not allowed to say nasty things."

"Zell doesn't have the balls to make demands," Seifer said flatly. "That was Rinoa, wasn't it?"

Nida made an apologetic face. "I'm just the messenger."

"Fine," Squall said, sighing, trying to regain his composure. "Let's get this over with then."

\--

Back in their suite an hour later, Seifer took his boots off at the door and went to the kitchen to wash his hands and start pulling ingredients out of the fridge. Squall hung back, removing his boots and coat, watching the blond silently.

Seifer hadn't spoken another word in the meeting, even when Irvine and Zell started subtly insulting him. He reviewed the files and kept his mouth shut, only bumping Squall's arm once or twice to point to something in the file. Tensions were growing in Deling over the past few months and protestors were starting to become violent, demanding that the stand-in president, a man named Piet who had taken the seat by assignment, be removed from office so a proper election could be held. General Caraway had sent an inquiry to Balamb Garden to see what assistance they could offer. For now, it was decided that Quistis, Irvine, and Zell would go over to scout out the situation. Rinoa refused, which wasn't surprising given her situation with her father.

After the meeting, Seifer had remained silent the entire way back to the suite, and Squall couldn't tell if he was pissed or just lost in thought. When they arrived, Squall started to head to his bedroom, choosing to leave Seifer alone for a while, but then the blond spoke up.

"Come over here."

Squall hesitated before walking over to the kitchen as Seifer pulled out a skillet, a cutting board, and the chicken breast he had bought the day before.

"Wash your hands."

Squall sighed but did as he was told, then accepted a knife from Seifer, obeying when he was instructed to trim and cut the chicken.

"Make sure to cut this garbage off," Seifer murmured, lifting the chicken to show Squall some of the chunks of fat. "I don't like eating that part."

"Okay," Squall agreed quietly. It was harder to feel annoyed about being forced to learn to cook when he realized he was making Seifer's dinner, too.

They prepared ingredients in silence for a few minutes. When Squall finished with the chicken, Seifer started explaining the sauce he was making was a healthy alternative to traditional alfredo because it used yogurt and broth instead of heavy cream. He mixed the ingredients in a pot on the stove, softly talking Squall through the process. Then he heated some oil in a skillet and showed Squall how to sear the chicken, letting him take over and watching carefully to make sure it didn't burn or splatter. When it seemed Squall had things under control, Seifer filled a second pot with water to boil.

"So what was that about? Not being able to quit as commander?" Seifer asked mildly. Squall glanced at him but Seifer didn't look back at him, checking on the sauce instead. 

"Garden started rioting when I tried to step down after the war," Squall said, shrugging like it didn't matter. "The students want someone who thinks of them as more than tools and the faculty want someone they can use for celebrity status. With Esthar's return, Rinoa's publicity, and Galbadia's attempt to regain power, politics have been too tense right now for us to reassign the role."

"So they're holding you hostage?" Seifer asked with irritation, frowning at him.

Squall shook his head, suddenly feeling tired. "No. But Garden would be in serious trouble if it became divided from within. I _ could _ leave. They can't stop me from actually quitting, despite what Xu says."

"But you wouldn't do that to them…"

"No."

"So what you said before…" Seifer prompted as he added linguini pasta to the boiling water and set a timer. Squall glared at him out of the corner of his eye.

"I was just in a bad mood and-" he cut himself off. _ And it felt good to be honest with you. _ "And I don't like it when they try to force me to do everything they want. I might be in an uncomfortable position, but I'm not a dog, and I can make it just as uncomfortable for them to have to keep me."

Seifer huffed a quiet laugh to himself. "That's where that voice comes from."

"What voice?" Squall asked, glancing up at him. Seifer smirked at him. 

"When you run out of patience, you talk like you're threatening them."

"I do?" Squall asked, surprised.

"Mhm. Pay attention to the chicken, it's almost done." 

"What do I do with it?" Squall poked a couple of the golden strips with the tongs.

"Add it to the sauce. Go ahead."

Squall carefully began selecting individual pieces of chicken and lowering them into the sauce until Seifer snorted softly and reached over to grab both of his wrists, lifting the skillet and guiding him to scoop the chicken into the sauce without getting too much of the oil. Squall blushed deeply, letting Seifer move him around without a fight, his heart suddenly hammering in his chest. He distractedly watched Seifer's hands, noting how warm and smooth they were, even after so many years of training with his gunblade. 

"Are you listening to me?" Seifer asked, guiding Squall to set the skillet down on a cool burner and letting him go.

"Huh?" Squall replied dumbly.

"I said-" Seifer reached over again, lower this time, toward his hips, and Squall's mind short-circuited until Seifer turned the stove knob. "Make sure to turn off the stove. You left it on while making your potatoes the other day, too."

"Oh fuck…" Squall breathed, his eyes widening as a realization suddenly hit him. Right between his legs.

"What?" Seifer asked, frowning. He tilted his head to look at Squall in concern. "What's the matter?"

"N-nothing," Squall said, shaking himself out of it. He swallowed hard and tried to process what Seifer had just said. "That's just- that's really dangerous."

"Uh-huh…" Seifer said, unconvinced, giving him a skeptical look. The pasta timer went off at that second and Squall was saved from further questions as Seifer focused on straining the linguini and plating their food, distracted as Squall made sure nothing in his pants was obvious to anyone except himself.

Terribly, undeniably obvious to himself.

He had a crush on Seifer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quiet chapter. This is turning out to be a longer fic than I expected, so I'm going to try to learn how to plot with it and maybe write my first slow burn? I say that, but the next chapter draft I'm working on is pretty fluffy and fun. I have to figure out how to make the tone of this chapter meld into the tone of the next one, cause I really like that scenes coming up but they're less serious.
> 
> Hopefully Squall wasn't OOC with his outburst this chapter. I feel like he'd be pretty fucking tired by now. Also, he's not trying to be an asshole by saying their meeting isn't a democracy. He usually calls for votes on everything else. He's just upset because he expects everyone to throw Seifer out of Garden and he wants to keep his partner.
> 
> Thank you so very much for reading, kudosing, commenting, and being wonderful~ Constructive criticism welcome. ❤


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has an explicit scene!

Three weeks. Three weeks Seifer had been living in close quarters with Squall and he had to admit, it was starting to wear on him. He thought it wouldn't be much different from living a few rooms down from the brunet, but it was so much harder. Before, he could just avoid him, or seek him out on purpose if he was in the mood, and either way he chose, he could always go back to his own suite he had shared with Raijin and get some fucking privacy. 

But now those blue eyes were on him nearly twenty-four seven. Even at night when he woke up in a cold sweat to screams that echoed out of his memories, Squall would open his door and flick his light on to look at him with that quiet gaze. Seifer couldn't pretend he hadn't noticed that he was recovering from the nightmares faster every night since Squall started checking on him. His hands would stop shaking just a little sooner, his heart would settle down just a little easier, and the relief that flooded him seeing his lifelong rival whole and in front of him was only chased away by the dread that Squall would eventually stop checking on him. 

Seifer blamed those midnight visits for his weakness. He had seen the man working out in the training center enough times over the years to have developed some resistance to those abs and that ass. It wasn't easy, but running through the alphabet backwards and reciting the disciplinary section codes in his head usually kept his erection from fully forming. But now Squall was paying so much attention to him, and fuck, Seifer liked it. That combined with walking into Squall’s room to accidentally catch the commander doing crunches shirtless was just a recipe for disaster.

But he wasn't going to bail on this job because of a fucking boner and he wasn't going to let anyone else stand beside Squall _ or _ live with him like this. 

Squall had wanted him, after all. 

Seifer braced a hand against the shower wall and lowered his head under the warm spray, his thoughts running over their first training session that morning in almost ten months. Almost a whole damn year. They went out to Squall's favorite spot behind the school, the same place they scarred each other for the rest of their lives, and it almost felt like deja vu with the thunder rolling out in the distance, far over the ocean, promising a downpour. It always added a rush to fight on the brink of a storm, racing against nature itself.

Training with Squall always felt deeper than anything else Seifer had ever experienced, even more intimate than sex. To be that perfectly in-tuned with someone, to know how they move and how they think, to try to cut them off and surprise them, to push with everything you had against everything they had coming straight at you, focused on nothing else but each other…

Seifer reached down and lightly stroked his fingers along his swollen cock, sighing in pleasure, soaking in after battle bliss. No GF could steal the memories of the way Squall's hand always closed around his gunblade hilt. Seifer had traced the image in his head so many times over the years that he suspected he could completely lose his mind but still remember that. 

_ “I wanted you. _”

Seifer furrowed his brows a little, licking his lips, not wanting to recall that memory right now, as good as it fucking felt. It was too closely linked with Squall being trapped and it brought a wave of possessiveness instead of pleasure. He closed his hand around his cock and stroked firmer, the way he imagined Squall would. 

Their blades striking, their breaths in sync. Seifer had fought as hard as he could and Squall still had him cornered, his back literally pressed against a wall of rock, hot steel nipping at his neck as he swallowed.

Hyne, what would it be like in bed with that man? Would he pin Seifer down against cotton just as easily? Or would he give in and let Seifer take him down?

"Seifer?" Squall called through the bathroom door just as Seifer got into a good rhythm, pumping his fist in sync with small thrusts of his pelvis. He held back a curse and glanced at the closed shower curtain, imagining Squall on the other side of the door. He kept stroking firmly.

"Yeah?" Seifer called back gruffly, trying to be quieter with his movements.

"I need to go to the library to look up some building regulations and even though it's literally one floor away, I'm guessing you want to come?" Squall sounded annoyingly inconvenienced, but Seifer quirked an eyebrow at his phrasing.

"What?" He asked as if he couldn't hear.

"I'm going to the library, hurry up if you want to come."

"Can't hear you," Seifer said, pumping harder. He bit his lip to hold back his heavy breaths. Fuck, Squall asking him if he wanted to come was hotter than he had imagined it could be.

"I said," Squall snapped in frustration, opening the door, "finish up and come with me."

Seifer held his hand still on his cock to silence the slick noises when the door opened and came hard with a sharp, muted exhale. He furrowed his brows and grit his teeth as his hips jerked forward instinctively. 

"..."

Seifer exhaled carefully, his legs feeling shaky as his orgasm slowed.

"Y-yeah," he answered roughly. "Give me a minute…"

"...Take your time," Squall mumbled and Seifer cursed inwardly at his horny impulse. Despite his best efforts to be quiet, Squall now knew he fucking jacked off in the shower less than thirty minutes after their battle.

The door closed and Seifer tipped his head back in the shower, holding back a groan. 

Then he shook his head and finished cleaning up. His rival had to have spotted him masturbating in the shared showers before. Tons of guys did it. Maybe not Squall, but Squall was a weird asshole. Jerking off was healthy. And this was Seifer's bathroom too. 

In Squall's words, whatever.

\--

Squall glared down at the large book on his kitchen table, not reading any of the words, too distracted by his roommate who was currently laying on the couch with his ankles crossed, reading a crime novel he had picked up from the library. Squall glanced up at him, frowning at the serene image.

The halting gasps he had heard when he walked in on Seifer in the shower an hour prior echoed in his mind and he furrowed his brows deeper. There was no way--no way in _ hell _\--that Seifer Almasy had been crying. Never. It just wasn't possible.

But Squall had caught him doing just that. The sharp inhale, the shake of his voice. Squall clenched his jaw a little. He knew how to handle Seifer in every other situation, whether he was gleeful or angry or bored. Usually the solution was to just ignore him or to play along with him. But he didn't know how to handle this. His heart had stopped dead when he heard Seifer and he didn't know what to do. A man as brash and unapologetic as Seifer _ didn't _ cry. 

Was the solution just to pretend he hadn't noticed? Seifer was acting like nothing was wrong. But he acted like that every morning after his nightmares, too, and Squall could tell those weren't nothing. 

Still, it definitely didn't feel right to say anything.

_ "Hey, are you alright? You can talk to me if-" _

Squall couldn't even finish the thought, it sounded so stupid. Seifer would probably punch him for being so fucking lame and he would deserve it. 

Why had he even been crying? Because of the war? Because of his defeat? Did their training session trigger some bad memory? It had been a really good fight, though... If it was because of the assessment torture, Squall was going to murder someone.

"You got a fucking problem?" Seifer asked with annoyance, snapping Squall out of his deadly thoughts. Squall blushed deeply and glared at him.

"What?"

"You've been scowling at me for twenty minutes, what the hell is your problem?"

"Nothing…"

"Looks like something," Seifer challenged in that tone that always made Squall feel like he had to push back. "Either you're pissed or you're constipated and I'm only going to deal with one of those things."

Squall scowled in disgust.

"Ah, so it's constipation."

Squall sighed and focused down at his book again.

"I've always liked that about you, you know that, Squall?" Seifer said with a chuckle, closing his book and folding his hands on his chest. 

"What?" Squall asked reluctantly, wishing he could throw his heart away for speeding up at those few words. His stupid crush hadn't gone away in the few days since he recognized it and it was starting to get really damn annoying.

"You act like you couldn't care less no matter how I insult you."

Squall lifted an unamused eyebrow, his heart deflating anticlimactically. Why did he like this asshole? He narrowed his eyes when Seifer got up and slowly advanced across the room with a look Squall knew all too well. 

"But the minute I start to question you, you open up like a locked box that wants its treasure revealed."

Squall held back a snort. There it was. Seifer was about to go off on a poetic tangent. Squall tilted his head a little to give him a skeptical look, trying not to show his amusement. He forgot how much he enjoyed this side of his partner.

"What are you talking about?"

Squall turned in his seat to face Seifer as the blond stopped beside him and Seifer smirked down at him, knowing he had Squall's attention.

Over the years, Seifer had taken note that Squall always paid closer attention whenever he talked like this, about big concepts steeped in philosophy or critical analysis. Squall ate it up every time, whether it was about the injustice of following orders blindly or chasing romantic dreams, questions of fate or morality or strength. Squall always listened to what he had to say, and any time Squall agreed with him, Seifer got a rush of satisfaction.

And more importantly right now, Squall was no longer glaring daggers at him for masturbating in the shower, finally distracted.

"I'm talking about how you're an egotist."

_ "Me?" _ Squall asked incredulously with an unexpected huff of laughter that made Seifer falter a second, his heart skipping a beat. Oh, that was a good sound… and that surprised expression was gorgeous, a mix of disbelief and amusement with one of those rare, stunning smiles, leaving Seifer momentarily breathless. "Are you serious right now?"

"Tell me I'm wrong."

"You're a hypocrite."

"But I'm not wrong."

"How the hell am I an egotist?"

"Please, it's the first thing a gunblade specialist needs to be. Only an asshole who's full of himself chooses that weapon," Seifer said, grabbing a nearby chair and dropping into it. Squall snorted softly and slouched a little, relaxing.

"What else then?"

"This conversation is proof. Look how badly you want to talk about yourself," Seifer said grinning.

"I'm just astounded at your leap in logic."

"Don't lie, I know you too well, Leonhart."

"Do you, now?" Squall asked, unable to hold back a small smile. This was dangerous, he shouldn't be encouraging this, he was going to give himself away and then things would be awkward. But that glint in Seifer's eyes was always so hard to deny…

"I probably know you better than anyone else," Seifer said smugly. Squall leaned his elbow on the table and rested his cheek on his fist, trying to look unimpressed.

"What's my favorite color?"

"Blue."

Squall blinked, genuinely surprised. "My favorite food?"

"Spaghetti, but you almost never eat it. You like pasta in general."

Squall furrowed his brows, becoming a little bothered. He didn't know either of those answers for Seifer. 

"My favorite animal?"

"Are you kidding me?" Seifer gave him a look like he was stupid. "You have lions on half the shit you own."

Squall blushed deeply at that, feeling like he was being called childish.

"Well what's yours?" He asked, annoyed at himself and at Seifer.

"My favorite animal?" Seifer asked, a little surprised.

"All of it."

Seifer leaned back in his seat, trying not to let his heart get carried away. Squall wanting to learn about him felt incredibly intimate, like a privilege very, very few got.

"Red." Seifer said. Squall's eyes flicked away in thought, then drifted back to him. "A really good burger. And koalas."

"Koalas?" Squall asked like that answer came out of left field.

"What did you expect me to say?" Seifer asked, huffing a small laugh.

"I don't know, like a T-Rexaur or something?"

"I hate those bastards," Seifer said flatly. 

Squall glanced away in thought again. "I think I knew your favorite color."

Seifer let his eyes follow the line of Squall's jaw and the slope of his neck. The glint of his earring drew his eyes back up toward his face and he met blue eyes looking at him in concern.

"What?" Seifer asked, his voice a little softer, furrowing his brows at Squall's unexpected expression.

Squall tried to hold the next question back, but he couldn't deny he was upset. He thought he knew Seifer better than everyone, too. Maybe not in the same way Fujin and Raijin knew him, but deeper. He knew what Seifer looked like when he decided to congratulate Squall for making SeeD despite his own anger and betrayal. He knew what he looked like when he was really willing to kill an enemy, the careless grace in the way he could cut a man down and then step over the body. Squall knew the tension in his shoulders when he felt cornered, the set of his jaw when he felt like he was being played for a fool by someone higher in command, the way his eyes narrowed when he found something privately amusing. Those things counted, didn't they? Seifer could run ahead in a mission because Squall knew what Seifer expected of him. Squall could best him in a one on one match because he knew which lines Seifer was going to cross, though that lesson was learned a little painfully, and which lines he wouldn't. He didn't need to know about koalas to know the man in front of him. He didn't care about that. He was upset because there was another side he didn't know and he wanted that. 

Green eyes quietly waited for a reply as Squall stared back at him, then the question broke past his lips, soft and prying, words that reached across the space between them to pull at this man who had already been broken down by him and then was broken down for him. And yet Squall wanted more from him. He didn't care if it wasn't his business. It was. Seifer was his business.

"Why were you crying?"

Seifer frowned gently, looking genuinely confused. "When was I crying?"

"Earlier. After our battle."

Seifer furrowed his brows, thinking for a moment as he searched Squall's eyes, and then realization dawned and he threw his head back and laughed hard. Squall blinked in confusion, sitting up a little, unsure.

Seifer laughed his ass off, tilting in his chair a little as he lost it. Squall looked so fucking concerned, he didn't even know the stoic man was able to make that face, and he was making it because he thought Seifer had been sobbing instead of getting off to his voice. Holy fuck, that was too good.

When Seifer was able to get some of his breath back, he looked at Squall again, grinning at the brunet's sour expression, then he dropped his face in his hand and broke into laughter again.

"Oh my god," Seifer said weakly as if that was the best joke of his life. Squall scowled but kept waiting for his answer, feeling defensive and insecure. He shouldn't have fucking asked. The only reason he stayed in his seat as Seifer continued to laugh at him was because even though it was pissing him off, it was just nice to see the blond laugh. Squall relaxed a little and his annoyance ebbed as he watched Seifer lose it, taking in the small details of his shoulders shaking and his smile hidden behind his hand.

Finally Seifer looked up at him again, rubbing his mouth ruefully. He had spent the last hour wishing Squall didn't know he had been jerking off in the shower, but now an evil mirth came to him. He dropped his hand and grinned at Squall a little seductively, pleased to see confusion appear in his blue eyes. It was a dangerous thing to do, but he couldn't help himself. 

"That's really sweet you were worried about me, Squall," Seifer drawled, grinning wide and lifting one brow, "but I wasn't crying, I was coming."

Squall blinked and then his entire face morphed into complete shock, his eyebrows shooting up and his lips parting a little as he flushed bright red. Seifer burst out laughing all over again, tipping back in his chair, and Squall bolted up from his seat, angry and embarrassed. He shoved Seifer's shoulder with his palm as he passed, causing his chair to fall over. The blond landed hard on his back but kept laughing, trying to talk through cracking up as Squall strode away.

"W-wait-" Seifer gasped in laughter, fumbling in his position as he rolled to his knees.

"You're an asshole," Squall bit out.

"It's not my fault you thought- oh my god, hahaha." Seifer paused in his attempt to follow him, sitting back on his ass as he snickered. "S-Squall, come back."

"Fuck you," Squall spat out.

"I'm sorry," Seifer called out and Squall paused in front of his bedroom door, glancing back at the apology. Seifer smiled up at him sincerely. "I'm sorry you don't know what jacking off sounds li-"

Squall walked into his room and slammed the button to shut the door, muffling Seifer's deep laugh.

\--

Squall was sitting in the kitchen at two in the morning when he heard the first grunt of a nightmare and he glanced up at Seifer's bedroom door. The table in front of him was covered in a pile of books and papers. He had stayed up late reviewing various SeeD mission requests and out-dated building codes for the Trabia Garden restoration and it was all starting to give him a headache. Laguna was really driving him nuts with the Trabia project, insisting that Esthar donate a large sum to Garden and unwittingly putting pressure on them to accommodate his stupid ideas. And Squall knew Selphie was having way too much influence since someone suggested a Rebuilding Festival at the last meeting.

Then of course there was Quistis's disturbing report from Deling. The riots were starting to grow in the past week, especially after a reporter recognized several covert SeeDs arriving--Quistis and the others--and wrote an article about how the new sorceress had taken over Balamb Garden and was plotting another overthrow of Deling, her very own home town. Squall was going to have to make a serious decision on how to handle that one and he wasn't entirely sure what to do. Xu wanted to send Rinoa into hiding like Edea, but Squall wasn't convinced that would be entirely safe for her. Rinoa herself didn’t want to live her life in secrecy, but she didn't want to put Balamb at risk, either. And it wasn't a sure thing people would be satisfied with her disappearance, anyway. 

Squall stared at Seifer's door, waiting to see if the nightmare escalated. He had managed to avoid talking to the blond the last two days, which was an impressive feat, honestly. Seifer seemed to be in good spirits still, chuckling to himself every so often and making subtle comments to Squall knowing he wouldn't get an answer. Squall figured he could probably get away with one more day of silent treatment before Seifer got annoyed enough to start picking a fight with him over it.

Squall didn't really want to be sulking like this, but he felt too committed to it now. If he backed down and acted like nothing was wrong… well fine, nothing would happen and he'd probably be a lot happier, but he was still so fucking embarrassed. Looking back, he couldn't believe he had mistaken Seifer's soft, impassioned breaths for crying. It was so obvious what it was now. And it wasn’t just the embarrassment that was getting to him. For the past two days, Squall hadn’t been able to stop imagining what was on the other side of that shower curtain. They had seen each other naked enough times in the public showers that he knew exactly what Seifer looked like down there. The only thing left to his imagination was Seifer's expression in the height of his pleasure and what his cock looked like while he pumped through an orgasm.

Squall dropped his forehead onto his books, mentally groaning at himself, trying not to get turned on again. Sure, it had happened in the past after several of their training sessions, but he always chalked that up to adrenaline and nerves. Plenty of guys talked about battle wood. Squall never experienced it on the field against random enemies, but he figured that was just because Seifer was the most exciting person to fight against and that mission battles were boring in comparison. And during the war it hadn't been a problem because it wasn't exciting to watch his rival spiral into defeat.

Seifer stirred in his room again and Squall lifted his head. Despite the silent treatment, he had continued to check in for Seifer's nightmares. His rival was beginning to look at him with tired acknowledgement instead of defensive anger every night and something about that made it harder to resist going to him. 

Suddenly, Seifer shouted something full of tension and fear and Squall got up from the table, approaching his door. Usually Squall was still asleep when the nightmares first started and he only ever found Seifer in the aftermath. Now, he quietly pressed the door open and slipped into the room to find Seifer still caught in his terrible dream, muttering to himself as he shifted uneasily. Squall approached his bed, his own expression softening, his brows furrowed in concern. The dim light from the kitchen illuminated Seifer enough that Squall could see beads of sweat running down his temples. He reached out and laid his hand on Seifer's bare shoulder.

"Seifer," Squall murmured softly, trying not to startle him. "Seifer, wake up…"

Almost immediately, the tension eased from Seifer's face and his heavy breathing slowed a little. Squall glanced down his body and gently pulled the blankets to untangle his legs, fluffing the sheets out carefully. When he looked at Seifer's face again, green eyes were cracked open a little and Seifer swallowed hard, his throat dry.

"You doing?" He mumbled softly, furrowing his brows.

"You were having a nightmare," Squall replied softly, choosing not to explain more than that.

"I know that," Seifer said, closing his eyes again. "Why are you still in your clothes?"

Squall felt his face flush warmly and he wondered if Seifer was talking in his sleep.

"Uh… Why wouldn't I be?"

"Cause it's late and you don't sleep in leather," Seifer muttered like that was a stupid question. He peeked one eye open again and glared up at Squall. "So that means you never went to sleep. Better not have gone out somewhere."

Squall snorted softly, finally understanding Seifer's point. "No, sir, haven't gone anywhere, sir."

"Sounds good when you call me ‘sir,’ commander smartass." Seifer grinned at him sleepily, then he slowly sat up, rubbing his face as he glanced at the clock on his nightstand. "Why aren't you asleep?"

"Had to read up on stuff," Squall answered, shrugging, wondering what he should do now. It felt wrong to just leave. "Do you want some water?"

Seifer looked up at him for a moment but then shifted to swing his legs out of bed, standing up in just his boxer briefs. Green. Squall tried not to stare without looking like he was trying not to stare. Fuck, was he really gay? Or was it just Seifer? Hyne… 

"I'll get some," Seifer murmured, gently pushing Squall's head down to drag him out of his room with him. Squall let himself be led along for a few steps, then knocked Seifer's hand away without force. Seifer yawned and went to the kitchen to get some water, eyeing the stack of books and reports on the table. Squall put a hand on his hip, feeling brave in the shadowy light of the late hour.

"Have you talked to anyone-"

"Don't start," Seifer warned softly, filling his glass. Squall closed his mouth, then tried a different tactic.

"…What do you dream about?"

Seifer looked at Squall from the corner of his eye as he gulped down some water, his expression a mixture of suspicious and defensive. When he lowered the glass, he faced him fully and leaned back against the counter.

"You."

Squall felt his stomach drop and he turned away, not wanting this to lead to an accusation or an apology. He had suspected, but hearing it confirmed felt unpleasant.

"Her, too," Seifer continued with a hint of frustration and Squall was starting to notice Seifer wouldn't say Ultimecia's name. "Just a lot of shit. Can't distract myself while I'm unconscious, you know?"

Squall looked at him again and hesitated before speaking awkwardly. "…Is there…a way I can help?"

Seifer's expression slipped into a soft, genuine smile Squall had never seen before, looking a little helpless in a way that made his chest ache.

"You want to help?"

"If I can…" Squall mumbled.

“Alright…” Seifer set his glass down and crossed the kitchen to approach Squall, stopping very close to him. "Hold still," he whispered.

Squall met his gaze as Seifer studied his face intently, then reached forward to close his fingers around Squall's neck. His touch was gentle and nonthreatening even though he applied a little pressure, just enough to feel Squall's pulse. Squall watched his eyes carefully, feeling strangely at ease like this. His heart didn't start to speed up until Seifer let go of his neck and instead rested his fingers against his cheek to trace his scar with the pad of his thumb. Squall's lashes fluttered shut protectively against the risk of something getting too close to his eyes and his breath caught in his chest, but he continued to hold still, even when Seifer's touch turned more into a caress against his jaw. 

Squall opened his eyes again when he felt Seifer let go of his face and gently touch his earring.

"Why do you wear this?" Seifer murmured.

"...I just like it," Squall said softly, a little defensive. Like hell he was going to remind him about the movie they watched during class one day when they were fourteen, with a character with an earring that Seifer had called badass. Squall couldn't remember the movie, though he now had a suspicion about who starred in it, but he remembered Seifer's comment clear as day. He also remembered sitting in his bathroom by himself a couple months later, gritting his teeth as he pressed a hot needle straight through his lobe.

Seifer smirked like he knew anyway and Squall scowled at him, blushing, but he still didn't move. Seifer tucked a lock of hair behind his ear.

"Soft…" his rival hummed, and then stroked his fingers through Squall's hair fully. Squall closed his eyes again, feeling strangely peaceful. 

"Are you satisfied I'm alive yet?" he murmured.

"Actually you're convincing me this is a dream by being so cooperative," Seifer chuckled. He ran his fingers through Squall's hair again and Squall bowed his head a little, swallowing hard. "You like that?"

"Shut up."

"You're not such a scary lion, you're a house cat."

Squall snorted disdainfully and glared up at him again. Seifer grinned.

Squall blushed deeply, hoping Seifer couldn't hear his heart thundering, and managed to maintain his glare. "Go back to bed."

"Yes, sir," Seifer said, finally lowered his hand. He huffed a soft laugh as he slipped past Squall as if that intimate exchange hadn’t just happened and Squall refused to turn to watch him walk away, especially since he was afraid to see Seifer's reaction as he moved to lightly brush the blond's hand with his fingers as he passed. Seifer hooked a finger around one of Squall's at the last second before pulling away just as quickly. It was an accident. An accident that very painfully meant nothing. It had to be. 

Seifer could have done anything, after all, in those quiet moments just then. He could have kissed him. Did Squall want him to kiss him? No. (_ Yes.) _ He wasn't sure… But Seifer was the type of man who would have kissed him if he wanted to. And he hadn't.

Seifer's bedroom door closed without another word from the blond and Squall was left with frustration and silence.

\--

"How the hell is _ this _ an informal event?" Seifer murmured scathingly beside Squall as they stood against one wall together, sipping champagne and watching the party in Balamb's grand ballroom. Wine glasses and shimmery dresses sparkled in the golden light, and soft music played over the pleasant chatter. It wasn’t as large as a SeeD ball, but it wasn’t casual by any means, either.

"There's a reason I have Laguna put everything in writing," Squall muttered, irritation heavy in his tone.

"You mean besides not paying attention in meetings?" Seifer grinned at him and Squall rolled his eyes.

"This would have been a black tie event if I didn't make him sign a document saying it as a cocktail party."

Seifer snorted softly and scanned the room critically. He had received the guest list a few days before and could easily name every person he saw, matched in his mind with a photograph, including the wait staff. He had checked Squall's bottle of champagne for tampering before he was allowed a glass and he was still relishing the expression on Squall's face when he insisted on actually taste-testing his dinner after all since he couldn't keep an eye on both the commander and the kitchen during the event.

In the days leading up to the not-at-all informal cocktail party that was meant to celebrate the President of Esthar's large donation to Trabia Garden, things had gotten back to normal between Squall and Seifer. Just like every other time Seifer woke Squall up with his nightmares, neither of them acknowledged what had happened that night Squall had so softly asked Seifer if he could help him. Seifer still couldn't believe those words. Squall worrying about him felt better than he could ever imagine, and he was so damn awkward about it, it was adorably endearing. He hadn't been able to resist touching him, and when Squall actually let him, Seifer started to wonder if he maybe wasn’t as off-limits as he assumed. He was still fairly certain Squall would cut this partnership off if Seifer crossed any lines, and he wasn't entirely sure Squall _wasn't _straight yet. But Hyne, there was at least some connection there and if he was able to touch the moody brunet like that even a little, he was going to take whatever he could get.

And if Squall really had caressed Seifer's hand as he went back to bed that night, if that really wasn't a dream, Seifer was not going to mess this up or miss his chance.

Still. His job came first. That wasn't going to change. And he definitely couldn't relax or flirt with Squall around all of these people who were potential threats, no matter how good the brunet looked in his formal SeeD uniform.

Though that didn't mean he couldn't at least talk to him. They had to pass time at this boring party somehow.

"So. He's really your old man?" Seifer asked, nodding over at Laguna laughing amongst a crowd of people. His own guards, a man named Kiros and a man named Ward, were discreetly placed by his sides, dressed in black suits that matched the occasion, just as Seifer was.

"I guess so…" Squall's gaze drifted over to the president.

"Do you like him?" Seifer pried.

"He's an idiot," Squall said flatly.

"So are half the people you hang out with," Seifer said with amusement. "That isn't a no."

"...I don't know. I don't _ dislike _ him. He's just a person I have to deal with…" 

Seifer glanced at Squall, catching one of his tells that he was feeling unhappy, a subtle sort of half wince. Blue eyes glanced up at him suddenly.

"Do you recognize him?" Squall asked reluctantly. Seifer lifted an eyebrow.

"Should I?"

Instead of answering, Squall shrugged. Seifer looked at the older man again but couldn't place him, though he did look familiar now that Squall mentioned it. He raised both eyebrows when Selphie appeared next to the man and slipped her hand into the crook of his arm, a little bounce in her step. Instead of wearing her SeeD uniform, she had on a flirty green dress that swirled around her knees, opting for the SeeD badge on the front of her shoulder instead.

"Isn't she with that cowboy?" Seifer asked. Squall shook his head.

"He wanted an open relationship and she wanted him to leave her alone after that."

"So, then what? She's dating your dad?"

"Dunno. She had a pretty big crush on him during the war, though."

"That doesn't bother you?" Seifer asked, lifting an eyebrow. "If they hook up, wouldn't that make her your stepmom?"

"I'm eighteen, I don’t need legal guardians, and as far as my documents go, I'm an orphan."

Seifer laughed genuinely at that. "So you're pissed."

"No, I want her to be happy. If he disappears on her like he did with my mom, though, I'll kill him," Squall said mildly and Seifer could tell the threat was real.

"Aww, you like her," he teased, fishing for Squall's real feelings toward the petite girl, hoping he wasn't jealous of the attention she was giving Laguna.

"She's my best friend."

Seifer looked directly at Squall, surprised by that. The brunet calmly sipped his drink as if he hadn't said anything weird.

"So why aren't you dating her?" Seifer asked bluntly, deciding not to pull the punch.

Squall looked at him like he was the biggest idiot he had ever met. "Why aren't you dating Fujin?"

And just like that, Seifer relaxed again, snorting softly in disdain. "She's like my sister."

"Well, Selphie…" Squall frowned in thought. "She's nothing like Sis. But maybe like a little sister."

"She's little, alright," Seifer joked. 

"She's as dangerous as she is small," Squall warned. "So don't get any ideas."

"She's not my type," Seifer laughed. He bounced an eyebrow at Squall when the commander looked at him curiously. "Wanna know what my type is?"

"No…"

"Squall!" Rinoa chimed up as she approached from a few tables over, and both Seifer and Squall cringed, though the expression was barely noticeable on either of them. She smiled at Squall warmly as she stopped in front of him, completely ignoring Seifer. "Dance with me?"

"No, thanks," Squall answered politely.

"Oh, come on! Nida is talking about something boring to Cid and Edea, and I want to dance," Rinoa insisted, smiling at him pleadingly. 

"Sorry, princess, he's my date tonight," Seifer answered instead, earning a glare from Rinoa.

"He'd be safer with me than you, and you know it," she said smartly and Seifer couldn't deny she was technically right since she could turn this entire ballroom to ash if she wanted. He downed his champagne, wondering if the wait staff had anything stronger. Maybe he'd snag a bottle of something to take back to their suite later.

"What do you really want, Rinoa?" Squall asked, sounding tired. Seifer decided he would offer to share his bottle with him. 

"Come on, Squall, can't you just spare me a single song? Or are we not _ any _ kind of friends anymore?" Rinoa gave him a hurt look and Seifer could see the guilt form in Squall's eyes.

Squall turned and handed Seifer his glass, only preventing Seifer from getting completely pissed off by sharing a long-suffering look meant just for him. Fine, he could dance with their ex-girlfriend. It was fine. She had probably never received a home cooked meal from him. ...Though that was probably in her favor with the way Squall cooked.

Seifer sipped Squall's champagne, passing his empty glass off to a waiter as he watched the very attractive couple on the dance floor take each other's hands and draw attention as they turned into the first steps of a waltz.

"It's a shame they broke up, they're really beautiful together," Cid's unwelcomed voice spoke up next to Seifer. He glanced at the older man.

"And it gave Balamb a lot of power for the commander to be knighted to a sorceress, huh?" Seifer asked bluntly. 

Cid shrugged. "No more power than we had when I was married to a sorceress."

"Except you hid her away and raised her children to kill her." Seifer focused on Squall again, not feeling any warmth toward the headmaster. 

"Edea made her own choices," Cid said mildly, not taking Seifer's bait.

"And you didn't try to stop her?"

"It wasn't my decision to make."

"I can't imagine Leonhart ever being that weak."

"And that's why the student body won't let him step down," Cid agreed with a nod. "He creates the answers he wants for complex problems." Cid glanced at Seifer, catching his eye. "You could be a little less judgemental, you know. I'm not the first or last man in history to make mistakes."

Seifer pressed his lips together, glaring at the man. He knew he should thank Cid for the multiple second chances he had been given over the years, especially after the war, but what did second chances mean against a doomed fate some weak father figure decided for him?

"Squall wants to grant you honorary SeeD status," Cid said mildly out of nowhere, snapping Seifer out of his resentment. 

"What?" He asked, furrowing his brows hard.

"He's been sending me a few emails with the proposal. You wouldn't be able to work independently since you failed the exam last year, but you would have some privileges and a uniform for official events, plus formal clearance on all the missions he'll go on." Cid watched him carefully, but Seifer couldn't school his face into its usual cocky mask. He was genuinely too shocked.

"Even if that's possible-"

"It is."

"-no one accepts me as his bodyguard as it is."

"There are some."

"There's no way people are going to be okay with granting a war criminal SeeD status."

"Your charges were cleared, Seifer," Cid looked at him over his glasses. 

"No one really believes that ruling," Seifer scowled. 

"Maybe you’re the only one who doesn’t believe it." 

Seifer barked out a harsh laugh. "Sure, sir, the lack of job opportunities and housing denials over the past six months were all in my head."

"Seems like you have a fine job and housing now."

"Only because-"

"Because Squall makes the answers he wants."

Seifer closed his mouth and glared at the headmaster, who just smiled at him like he felt clever. "He's not weak enough to accept no for an answer."

"He is a dumbass, though."

Cid chuckled at that genuinely. "He's a little foolhardy without realizing it, yes."

Seifer rolled his eyes and took another sip of Squall's champagne only to freeze when he saw Rinoa laughing with Nida, without Squall.

"Where is he?"

"Hm? I think Senator Hanare was talking to him-" Cid cut himself off as Seifer shoved the champagne glass in his hand and stalked off without another word, searching tensely for a blond braid he was going to chop off.

\--

Squall listened to Jaspe silently, trying to determine what exactly this man's motive was. He had caught Squall at the end of the waltz and pulled him into a corner of the room to talk. Since Squall could still see Seifer from where they stood, he decided to hear the senator out. He was definitely trying to get Squall to believe he was interested in him sexually, but something felt off. Everything about the encounter was too planned. 

"We really didn't have any time to talk after the meeting last week," Jaspe hummed as if that was a shame. "I'm glad I get to steal a few minutes of your time now. You dance beautifully, by the way."

Squall put a hand on his hip, staying silent. Was Jaspe somehow linked to the assassination attempts? Or was he a political rival of Laguna's hoping to get some dirt? The senator smiled at him silkily.

"Do you ever get time away from your keeper? I'd love to take you to dinner, just the two of us."

"Why?" Squall asked bluntly. Jaspe lifted a confused brow, then smiled again.

"So I can enjoy your company all for myself?"

"I'm not interested."

"I could peak your interest, I'm sure," Jaspe murmured seductively, stepping in closer. He gently cupped Squall's elbow and Squall watched him carefully, looking for any signs he was about to attack. His back was protected by a wall, so he didn't have to worry about anyone sneaking up on him, and Jaspe didn't have the grace of a fighter, so it didn't seem Squall was being threatened. 

"No, thanks," Squall said, pulling his arm back. "If we're done here…"

Jaspe chuckled and placed his palm against the wall, stopping Squall from leaving. He was several inches taller than Squall and succeeded in blocking him off from the rest of the party. "Listen, just give me a chance." He touched Squall's chin delicately and Squall was starting to suspect he was wrong about the ulterior motive. He pulled his face away, glaring at Jaspe, then cursed inwardly when he looked over his shoulder and saw Seifer was gone. Squall pressed his palm against Jaspe's chest and firmly pushed him back.

"You should back up."

"Or, you should let me get closer," Jaspe purred, apparently too damn dense to notice the warning in Squall's voice. "Tell me, commander, do you like belts in the bedroom, too?"

"Seifer, wai-" Squall tried, only to be frozen shock-still by cool lips suddenly pressing against his own mouth.

Then Jaspe was roughly ripped away from him and Seifer whirled the senator around to kiss his fist instead. 

The scream of a nearby guest drew the entire ballroom's attention to see Squall facepalming as Seifer shook out his fist and Senator Hanare groaned on the floor. 

\--

"'Commander Compromised,' Squall?" Xu demanded harshly, slapping a newspaper down on Squall's desk the next morning. Seifer rolled his eyes at her melodramatic anger and slouched in his chair. He scowled when she smacked her hand down on the desk in front of him next. "Do not give me that look, Almasy! This is all your fault!"

"My fault?!" Seifer asked incredulously, sitting up straighter. 

"You punched a high ranking senator of Esthar!"

"If that sleezebag kept his tongue in his own fucking mouth-"

"He didn't use tongue," Squall snapped for the dozenth time.

Seifer ignored Squall. "-then maybe he wouldn't get punched! It's my job to-" 

"Do! Not! Punch! Senators!" Xu shouted over Seifer, hitting the desk with her palm with every word. "Especially senators giving us large sums of money!"

"Oh, so you're just whoring out your commander now?" Seifer shouted back. "Anyone can kiss him if they pay enough?"

"You could have stopped it without hitting him!"

"He crossed the line!"

"You broke his nose!"

Instead of shouting again, Seifer sat back in his chair and chuckled.

"It's not funny," Xu said darkly. "And now this garbage is being printed in every paper and gossip rag in the country. Probably in _ every _ country!"

Squall looked down at the series of photos in the newspaper in front of him. The biggest was a picture of Seifer decking Jaspe in the face, so perfectly timed that the secret reporter must have been expecting the scene. Squall had a feeling he was planted there by the senator in question himself. The next photo was smaller, showing Seifer and Squall standing close together earlier in the night, enjoying each other's company more than the party. The final photo was of Jaspe's kiss, immortalized in vibrant color.

The article posed a series of possible scenarios for how the evening had played out, the biggest theory being that Squall and Seifer were having an illicit tryst but Squall couldn't settle for just one man and was caught cheating. Squall wondered idly if Irvine ever felt this dirty when he was accused of fooling around. Probably not.

"This is a catastrophe," Xu said, dropping heavily in the chair next to Seifer on the other side of Squall's desk. "We cannot afford to lose Esthar as an ally. We risk another war with Galbadia if we lose their support."

"As if Loire will ditch Squall," Seifer said dismissively. Xu scowled at him.

"President Loire doesn't have enough power to prevent that. Esthar is governed by a council of senators, including the senator you punched. Laguna is a figurehead, at best. If others side with Hanare, Laguna won't be able to outvote them." 

"I don't understand how you can blame me for doing my goddamn job," Seifer said with irritation. "And if Squall hadn't wandered off, none of this would have happened. Blame _ him. _"

"I wanted to see what he wanted," Squall muttered bitterly, throwing the newspaper away in his trash bin. "I was still in your sight."

"Not when he blocked you from my view."

"I could have handled it anyway."

"So you wanted him to kiss you?" Seifer asked harshly.

"No," Squall snapped, glaring at him hard, his patience thinning.

"Didn't look like you minded much," Seifer said snidely.

"Jealous?" Squall asked impulsively and Seifer rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm real jealous you got to kiss a douchebag."

Squall closed his mouth, trying not to acknowledge the sting he felt from Seifer not even considering Squall the option to be jealous over. He turned his attention back to Xu who had her chin in her hand, watching them both bicker with boredom.

"So what do we do?" Squall asked, trying to get back to business.

"Damage control," Xu said flatly. 

"If that involves kissing Hanare's ass next-" Seifer growled, his anger returning. 

"It doesn't. What really happened isn't the problem here."

"Like hell it isn't."

"The problem," Xu continued as if Seifer hadn’t spoken, "is Squall's image."

"What image?" Squall asked at the same time Seifer muttered "great" under his breath.

"You're a war hero that took down a time witch, accused of sleeping with the former enemy, literally, and you're trying to claim that a delicate, spoiled senator forced himself on you," Xu explained, sitting up again. "Your image is too untrustworthy right now for anyone to believe you or feel good about you. Esthar is going to vote that they cut support to Balamb and the public is going to agree because you're very unlikeable."

Squall frowned at Xu. "I don't need to be likeable to do my job."

"Yes, you do. Look at your father, he's able to do his job _ because _ he's likeable. You're unable to do yours because you're not."

"I'm able-" Squall started defensively.

"You can't do your job if people want to isolate Balamb because of you," Xu interrupted. 

"So I should quit," Squall said flatly, knowing that wasn't going to work. Xu sighed heavily.

"And who's going to replace you?"

"Quistis."

"She lacks leadership skills."

"So did I."

"Keep telling yourself that," Xu said with a smirk. 

"So what are we going to do?" Squall repeated, growing irritated.

"Operation Golden Boy." Xu said, smiling patronizingly as Squall cringed and even Seifer looked unsettled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I'm starting to repeat the thoughts these two are going through, I'm sorry. My editing process is an absolute mess and I have like, a dozen different versions of various scenes that get cut or added back in as I decide where this is going. Rereading doesn't really help me at this point because I reread it all over and over and it's just a mushy pile of these two cute-crushing on each other now.
> 
> Thank you for reading, kudosing, and commenting, as always! I get a lot of boring notifications to my phone throughout the day and whenever I get the sweet surprise of a AO3 kudos or comment instead of a stuffy email or text, it just brightens up my whole day. Thank you so much! ❤


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3

Seifer groaned as he followed Squall into their suite. Meetings. Meetings upon meetings. He never realized how absolutely exhausting sitting around talking about shit could be, but damn he was tired and they hadn't even started the public relations campaign Xu had so wittily dubbed Operation Golden Boy.

"I cannot believe we've spent this whole weekend in conference rooms," Seifer muttered, kicking his boots off as the door closed behind him.

"Yeah…" Squall sighed heavily, sounding just as tired.

"What a waste. You don't go on missions anymore?" Seifer asked with annoyance. He had definitely expected this job to be more battle heavy.

"Once or twice a month they send me on the bigger assignments. We've just been tied up in paperwork because of Trabia, and now this Esthar drama is going to take priority," Squall shrugged. 

"That is entirely your fault," Seifer said, bitterness creeping into his tone at the memory of Squall's mouth pressed against another man's.

Had Squall liked it? Hated it? Was he repulsed or curious? Would he have pulled back if Seifer hadn't yanked Jaspe away? 

Would he have pulled back if Seifer was the one to kiss him instead?

Squall shot him a dirty look as he walked to his bedroom and Seifer followed, in the mood to harass the brunet. Squall shrugged his jacket off and hung it on the back of his desk chair, glancing back at Seifer warily.

"You don't seem too pissed about that kiss, you know," Seifer said, accusatory. "Maybe I wasn't too far off the mark about why you and Rinoa broke up."

"Fuck off," Squall said with irritation, trying to hide the unease that immediately rushed through him behind a mask of anger. Shit, was he giving himself away somehow? Would a straight guy have reacted differently to Jaspe? Squall had believed he was straight before (or really, he hadn't thought about it at all, but that was beside the point), and he was pretty sure he would have reacted the same way even without his new self-realization involving Seifer. 

"That's not a denial," Seifer said.

"I don't have to deny or explain anything to you," Squall said bluntly. There, that seemed like himself. But then Seifer's eyebrows snapped down sharply and Squall knew he said the wrong thing.

"Is that right?" Seifer asked, his tone suddenly pissed off. 

Squall defensively clenched his jaw a little. Fuck. "...Yeah."

"Alright," Seifer nodded coldly like he understood and Squall closed his fists, knowing the fury that followed that look in those green eyes. This was it. Seifer had figured it out. He was going to call Squall out and Squall wasn't going to be able to deny it. "So, then what? You like him?"

"What?" Squall faltered, caught off guard by the topic change.

"You don't owe me a fucking explanation, but it would be nice if you'd at least gave me a heads up if you were going to start bringing that fuckwad around here."

"Who?" Squall asked in confusion.

Seifer looked at him like he was stupid. "The asshole we've been talking about?"

Squall glanced away, recalling the details of the conversation. They hadn't been talking about anyone. He furrowed his brows and looked back at Seifer incredulously. "Jaspe?"

Seifer scowled angrily, regretting every moment of this conversation. He had been hoping Squall would deny liking the man, would react to him with scorn. But not once in the two days since the party had the brunet expressed any annoyance about the kiss itself, and instead Seifer kept catching him staring off, lost in thought, practically daydreaming. And now he was acting like Seifer was prying into his life. Squall's business with _ Jaspe _ was Squall's business. Not 'the Senator,' not 'Hanare.' Jaspe. "On a first name basis already? Did you know him before or have you really been staying up at night to meet with him?"

"What?" Squall asked, looking at Seifer incredulously.

"Fuck you, Squall," Seifer snapped suddenly, trying to cling to his resentment so he wouldn't feel the ache building in him. "Are you kidding me?"

"What the _ hell _ are you talking about?" Squall asked in complete bewilderment, losing his patience as his worry over being outed turned into agitation at Seifer’s stupidity. "Seifer, I don't-"

Seifer turned to stalk out of the room abruptly and Squall hurried after him, a different kind of distress rising in him.

"I don't like that senator!"

"Whatever.”

Squall grabbed Seifer's arm, then ducked gracefully to dodge Seifer's counter-grab. In seconds, Seifer was dropped on his back on the couch, completely overpowered by Squall like it was nothing. Squall pressed his knee to his chest, both of Seifer's wrists pinned to the armrest, glaring down at him in pure exasperation.

"Listen to me when I'm talking to you," Squall ordered. 

"I don't want to fucking listen to you, you’ve said enough," Seifer spat back, his heart hurting as he gave words to his anger. "You don't owe me an explanation, right? I'm just your fucking guard dog. Yes, sir! No questions, sir! I have no right to your business, sir!"

Squall blinked in shock and then softened a little, furrowing his brows. "That's not what I meant."

"Get the fuck off me."

Squall looked at him in frustration, trying to figure out what he could possibly say to fix this. Seifer glared up at him defensively, then Squall blinked and exhaled gently as he realized what he had never said to begin with, what he should have said two nights ago--what he should have said after the first day Seifer came back. He met Seifer's gaze, serious and sincere. "Seifer…Thank you."

Seifer tensed a little, but the anger in his eyes flickered. "What?"

"Hanare is a fucking scumbag," Squall said with a little shake of his head.

"Yeah, I know," Seifer said bitterly.

"I didn't want to kiss him, I didn't even want to talk to him. Thank you…for coming for me."

Seifer swallowed hard and kept glaring at him uncomfortably.

"You're not my dog," Squall said softly and tried damn hard to keep the blush from rising in his face as he spoke. Hyne, if he had any doubt about his interest in Seifer before, it was very clear now, practically straddling him. But right this moment wasn't the time to think about that and he wasn't sure Seifer would hear him out if he let him go, so he tried to ignore the heat growing in his veins. "I swear I won't keep anything important from you. This is your suite, too. I would never bring anyone over." The only person he really wanted to be around was already right here, after all…

"Alright," Seifer finally said, his voice still gruff and annoyed, but much softer. "I get it… Now get off me."

Squall let go of him and stood up awkwardly as Seifer sat upright. The blond glared up at him and Squall shifted his weight before finally sitting awkwardly on the couch next to him, pushing his hand through his hair as he glared down at the floor.

"And I'm not sneaking out, stop accusing me of that," Squall muttered. "I wouldn't do that to you."

Fucking hell, that sounded way more intimate aloud than Squall thought it would. Why was he still talking? He shoved to his feet in an attempt to retreat to his room only to fall back with a puff as Seifer jerked him back down onto the couch.

"Relax," Seifer commanded quietly.

"Me?" Squall asked, a little bitter. "You're the one freaking out over nothing."

"Guess I'm just stressed…" Seifer rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his face tiredly with one hand, mentally reciting the alphabet backwards for a minute as they both sat there uncomfortably. Hyne have mercy on him, Squall had never pinned him before. He had to admit it was a pretty effective way to get him to calm the fuck down. He tried not to visibly cringe at how stupid he was. He felt like he had just confessed in the dumbest way possible and hoped that Squall was just chalking it up to being hotheaded as usual.

When he was sure he wasn't going to embarrass himself further, Seifer looked over at his equally agitated rival, finally noting the slump to his shoulders. He winced as he realized Squall looked exhausted. How much sleep was he actually getting? They woke up early every morning, before seven, and Seifer tried to get in bed by eleven himself. With Squall working through parts of the nights and waking up to check on Seifer whenever he was too loud in his sleep, which Seifer always regretted, the commander probably wasn't getting near enough rest. Add to that the stress of precariously managing politics and now this new personality campaign proposal, not to mention the fact that he never got a real break after the war and couldn't step down from an over-demanding job he didn't even want. Seifer suddenly felt bad for him. And now he added even more to all of that stress. When was the last time Squall really got the chance to relax? Had he ever taken a vacation? Maybe a short one with Rinoa, which meant it probably wasn't relaxing at all.

"Let's go to Fisherman's Horizon next weekend," Seifer murmured like a truce. Squall looked over at him.

"Xu would kill us."

"She could try," Seifer said, smirking a little. Squall furrowed his brows, still reluctant, and Seifer continued. "I need to pack up the rest of my things and move in properly, anyway."

Squall nodded a little tightly. "Right…"

"Unless you're changing your mind?" Seifer asked carefully.

"No!" Squall said sharply, glaring at him. He looked down again, blushing. "No… I'm not changing my mind."

"Good, then we'll leave Saturday morning. I'll let Fujin and Raijin know." Seifer hauled himself to his feet and paused in front of Squall for a moment. Blue eyes looked up at him cautiously and in a moment of weakness, Seifer reached out to gently push his head down, carding his fingers through his hair affectionately with the motion. "I'm sorry…"

"It's okay…" Squall murmured, letting Seifer touch him, only opening his eyes again when his rival retreated to his own room.

\--

"Squall, smile!" Selphie ordered angrily, stomping her foot, lowering her camera. She was in Squall and Seifer's suite three days later, helping practice for the interview Xu had scheduled with Weapons Monthly the following week. Selphie was assigned as mission leader, since Xu didn't trust Squall to actually prepare, and Selphie was the only one brave enough to take on the sure failure. It was a month long public relations campaign where Squall was going to be in the spotlight of interviews, photoshoots, and talk shows in order to build a more personable image. The only thing they had going for them, Xu said, was that Esthar's council moved very slowly, so _ maybe _ Balamb would be able to change people's hearts before anything was decided as far as financial and military support.

Two days into prepping, it of course wasn't going well.

"I am smiling," Squall said flatly.

"That is not a smile! It's a scowl."

"That's how Squall shows happiness," Seifer chimed in from where he was stretched out on the couch, reading the most recent issue of the magazine that Squall was preparing for. He turned his head and folded back a page to show Squall. "Did you see this upgrade?"

"Which one?"

"The one that uses-"

"You guys!" Selphie interrupted loudly. "If you don't cooperate, Xu says I have permission to double the number of interviews."

"Alright, pipsqueak," Seifer sighed, turning back to his magazine. He dogeared the page to show Squall later. 

Squall leaned back in his seat at the kitchen table, crossing his arms and legs, bored and miserable. 

"Squall, just give me one smile and we'll move on to your clothes," Selphie tried to coax.

"What's wrong with my clothes?" Squall asked, frowning.

"They're so mopey!"

Seifer snickered and grinned over at Squall. "Yeah, Squall, you emo."

"They're just battle leather," Squall said defensively.

"You don't need to wear battle leather all the time," Selphie said, rolling her eyes. "Especially not _ black _ battle leather. You need something bright and cheerful!"

"Put him in yellow," Seifer suggested and Squall shot him a dirty look. 

"You'd definitely look good in yellow," Selphie agreed. She lifted her camera and took a picture of Squall's glare. "Or mint green."

"Squall is definitely a pastels kind of guy," Seifer chuckled.

"You're making dinner tonight," Squall growled at him.

"I make dinner every night," Seifer said.

"I'm not helping and I want sushi."

Seifer laughed genuinely and focused back on his magazine. The past few days had been much easier since their fight after the initial awkwardness. The memory of Squall's sincere thank you kept warming Seifer's heart and the stronger memory of being pinned beneath him warmed other parts of him just as pleasantly. After a few good home cooked meals, they were basically back to normal. 

Selphie snapped her camera in Squall's face and then grinned at the preview screen as he scowled at her. "Got it!"

"Let me see." Seifer rolled off the couch and crossed the room to look over Selphie's shoulder. The photo showed Squall smiling at Seifer off screen, a subtle warmth to his eyes. Seifer was half pissed he had missed seeing that in real life, but he had a feeling Squall wouldn't have made the expression if he had been looking at him.

Seifer lifted his gaze to meet defensive blue eyes glaring back at him. Before Squall could snap anything at him, Seifer smirked at Selphie, putting on a mocking attitude again.

"Send me a copy I can use as blackmail."

"Sure thing!" Selphie chimed, all too pleased to share Squall's smiling face.

"Hey!" Squall warned, but both of them ignored him.

"I was serious about the mint green," Selphie said, looking up at Seifer for his opinion. He looked over at Squall scowling in his seat, analyzing him.

"Light blue would suit him," Seifer said, contemplative.

"No," Squall bluntly.

"Yeah, that would remind people of Rinoa. We want Squall to stand out on his own." Selphie faced him and touched her chin thoughtfully. "Maybe orange?"

Squall glared up at Selphie and Seifer darkly, not liking this one bit. Of all the things his job required of him, this PR campaign was the most asinine by far. The longer they scrutinized him, the more pissed off Squall became until Seifer smirked a little. Then his blood ran cold when his rival spoke up.

"We should go shopping and try them all."

\--

Seifer leaned against the wall of the nice boutique Selphie had excitedly dragged them to, his arms crossed over his chest as he waited for Squall to appear in his first outfit. The small woman herself was bouncing in the seat Seifer let her have, shaking her fists a little in excitement.

"Let's see, Squall! Come on!"

"I look like a tool," Squall replied through the changing room door. 

"That means you'll be useful," Seifer joked, laughing. Squall opened the door just enough to glare at him.

"Was that a pun?"

"That was pretty good," Selphie giggled and Squall gave her a dry look.

"Don't encourage him, I have to live with him."

"It's the other way around, buttercup. You're the insufferable one. Now get your ass out here so we can start giving you self-esteem issues." Seifer lifted one hand to beckon Squall out of the changing room and smirked when he saw the brunet struggle for a second internally. He knew some of Squall's weaknesses and that taunt always got him.

The door opened wider, revealing Squall in a white collared shirt, a dark gray sweater vest, and a pair of black slacks. He grimaced as Selphie and Seifer both looked at him critically.

"I thought we were going for color," Seifer asked in confusion. Selphie gave him a knowing glance over her shoulder.

"We're starting out slow so we don't send him into shock."

"Well, who the fuck dressed him like a substitute teacher on a made-for-tv movie?"

"Excuse me!" A boutique associate scoffed a few feet away as she helped another customer. "Please watch your language."

Seifer casually saluted her but rolled his eyes when she turned her back. Squall gave him an unamused look.

"Sweater vests are handsome," Selphie said and Seifer gave her a skeptical look.

"Cid wears a sweater vest. Squall's one potbelly away from being headmaster of Garden," he said.

Squall immediately went back inside the changing room and firmly closed the door, calling through it sharply. "No more sweater vests."

Seifer snickered and Selphie shot him a dirty look. "Then you pick something for him, he's very difficult to dress!"

"No, he isn't," Seifer said dismissively. He pushed away from the wall and walked over to a rack of clothes, pulling out several shirts before going to a selection of nice blue jeans. He called across the room loudly, "keep those slacks on for now, Squall," and was rewarded with a long-suffering sigh. A few minutes later, Seifer returned to Selphie and dropped a pile of clothes on the coffee table in front of her, giving her an unimpressed look. "I expected more from you, short stack."

Selphie pouted briefly, then lit up in interest when Seifer tossed a dark red button up over the changing room door. 

Squall emerged cautiously a moment later, trying to button his sleeves at his wrists, but Seifer stepped up in front of him and smirked as he grabbed Squall's arm and rolled up the sleeves one at a time. Squall blushed gorgeously, cooperating with reluctance as he looked up at him silently.

"Okay, that's definitely better, but he still looks too scary," Selphie said, bouncing up to them to get a better look at Squall. "Red and black reminds me of a villain."

"Smile, Squall," Seifer ordered and Squall scowled at him.

"Cut it out," Squall said but his voice was low and stubborn without any bite to it.

"Leonhart," Seifer said with a sigh. "It's for the mission. Now look at the munchkin and smile at her before she thinks I can't dress you either and you're subjugated to more sweater vests."

Squall grimaced, then glanced at Selphie's cheerful face. He sighed a little, then offered her a soft smile.

"Push your hand through your hair and smile wider," Seifer ordered. Squall resisted clenching his teeth and obeyed, unwittingly giving Selphie a very beautiful smoulder.

_ Slap! _

"Ah I'm so sorry!" Selphie yelped as Squall jerked back from her unexpected attack, glaring at her.

"What the hell?" Seifer asked, just as startled.

"He caught me by surprise!"

"Me?" Squall asked with irritation. He rubbed his cheek a little and Selphie laughed.

"I'm sorry, Squall! You looked so lewd."

"Lewd?!" Squall asked incredulously. "All I did was smile!"

"I know, but it's so rare for you and the way you pushed your hair back, it just seemed naughty!"

Squall looked at Seifer helplessly to find the blond covering his mouth ruefully. He glared at both of them and stalked back into the changing room. 

"Aww, Squall, don't be angry!" Selphie called through the closed door. "We're not making fun of you!"

"Whatever."

"Here, put this on next," Seifer said, tossing some bootcut jeans and a soft green button up over the door.

"Hell no. I'm just going to wear my normal clothes."

"Squall, you can't! You look scary!" Selphie scolded.

"You said I looked like a lewd villain in slacks!"

"You didn't look like a villain after you smiled, you looked like a heart throb!"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Despite his argument, Squall snatched the next outfit from the door. Seifer smirked at Selphie and she covered her mouth to silence her giggle as she sat back down in her chair. 

Squall reappeared a moment later, trying to roll his sleeves up like Seifer had. Seifer stepped up again to untuck his shirt from his jeans with a gentle jerk and Squall stumbled into him a little, caught by surprise.

"You looked good," Seifer murmured so only he could hear. Squall looked up at him in shock and Seifer smirked, fixing his sleeves. "Really good. Smile more."

"Don't make fun of me," Squall muttered, burning bright red. 

"I'm not."

"Oh, that looks really nice," Selphie chirped from her seat. "Turn around, let me see your butt."

"What?" Squall asked, shooting her a dirty look. He staggered as Seifer grabbed his shoulders and turned him. "Hey!"

"Nice," Selphie said approvingly. Squall glared at her over his shoulder and she shrugged. "You look very boy next door, which is perfect, but we don't want to kill your sex appeal."

"Sex appeal?" Squall asked with disbelief.

"Are you really concerned about that, Ms. Sweater Vest?" Seifer said, giving Selphie a dry look. Selphie laughed and sorted through the pile of clothes.

"Oh, try this next!"

Squall took the purple t-shirt and glared at her, retreating again. When the door closed, Seifer glanced over and frowned at the wicked smile she was giving him.

"What?"

"Nothing~" Selphie said in singsong. Seifer glanced at the changing room door briefly, then gave her a threatening look and shook his head. She held her hands up in surrender, then mimed zipping her smiling lips. Seifer winced at the clear message that she had figured him out and Selphie laughed genuinely.

"What are you two plotting?" Squall asked warily as he emerged again. The slim-fitting t-shirt hugged his body incredibly well without being too snug, drawing attention to his biceps and wrinkling casually at his waist so the plain brown belt he was wearing peeked out a little, drawing the eye to the V of his pelvis. Seifer trailed his eyes over him. Fuck, he looked good in casual clothes.

"How to keep the fangirls off you. Wow, Squall," Selphie whistled and Squall glared at her. "Although, that necklace is still a little intense…"

Squall's shoulders dropped a little and he sighed tiredly. "Come on…"

"It's just so bulky." Selphie thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers. "I know. Seifer, switch with him."

"What?" Seifer asked, genuinely shocked by how conniving this girl was. She smiled at him innocently.

"Your necklace would go better with his outfit. Try it out."

"People will know it's his," Squall said carefully.

"No, they won't, he wasn't wearing it at the party, right? So it won't be in the photos."

"Aren't you just the observant little detective," Seifer muttered at her, but he reached behind his neck and unclasped his chain. Squall frowned, but followed suit. 

"I'm going to find the restroom!" Selphie announced and bounced away before Squall or Seifer could blink. Seifer swore under his breath, actually impressed. What a complete minx.

"Here," Squall muttered, holding his hand open to take Seifer's necklace. Not wanting to waste Selphie's effort, Seifer stepped up and lifted the choker to Squall's throat instead. He silently grazed his fingers along the back of Squall's neck, looking into his blue eyes as he felt for the clasp.

"Doing okay?" Seifer asked with a soft voice. Squall swallowed and glanced down.

"Yeah, fine."

"You don't have to wear this." Seifer hooked the clasp and slid his fingers along the chain to straighten it out.

"Does it look weird?" Squall asked, reaching up to touch the metal plate as Seifer lowered his hands.

"Looks really good…"

Squall's eyes landed on Seifer's bare throat, then he glanced over at the mirror full-length, adrenaline flushing his body as he caught sight of Seifer's choker around his own neck. Heat unfurled in his veins at the sight and he looked at Seifer again, who met his eyes with a serious, quiet expression. Without giving himself time to think about it, Squall reached up and clasped his chain around Seifer's neck. His lips parted when Seifer's hands landed on his waist and Squall dragged Seifer down just a little by his pendant.

Then they both glanced over as the store clerk approached them and they separated naturally, taking a step back from each other.

"Are you gentlemen doing okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine," Seifer said a little roughly. 

"Well, we close in twenty minutes, so please take your final purchases to the counter soon."

Squall gave her a curt nod, then spun on his heels to go back into the changing room, leaving Seifer to groan silently in his head.

\--

That evening, Seifer found himself at Selphie's door on the first floor, frustrated and confused, having snuck out while Squall was in the shower.

"Is he gay?" Seifer asked quietly right away when she opened the door.

"I was wondering when you'd show up," Selphie said cheekily, standing there in a pink pajama set of a long sleeved top, baggy pants, and matching bunny slippers. She tilted her head a little at Seifer's lifted eyebrow. "What's that look for?"

"It's like, eight pm. What are you doing in PJs already?" Seifer asked.

"They're comfy! Come on in!"

Seifer followed Selphie inside and was immediately assaulted by the bright pinks, greens, and yellows of her decor. Live plants covered the kitchenette counter and cheerful photographs lined the walls. Fairy lights were strung up from the ceiling, her couch was covered in at least a hundred pillows, and even her television was decorated with a bunch of stickers around the edges.

"Wow," He said cautiously.

"Thanks!"

"I'm not sure I was complimenting you…"

"Hey!" Selphie pouted at him as she went into her kitchenette to open some cupboards, but seemed to get over his jab immediately. "Want some cocoa?"

"I don't have a ton of time. Squall only takes fifteen minutes when he showers in the evening," Seifer said, picking up a little plastic flower toy with sunglasses on from a shelf. He almost dropped it when it started singing and wiggling in his hand, but he caught it at the last second. He put it down, furrowing his brows in distaste. 

"That's plenty of time," Selphie said, pulling out two mugs. She pulled a carton milk out of the fridge and set a pot on her single burner to start heating it.

"Squall hasn't put you into a faculty suite yet?" Seifer asked, leaning against the wall near the door. The messenger girl might be cordial with him, but he wasn't really sure where he stood with her yet and didn’t want to get too comfortable. 

"I told him I didn't want one after Irvy and I broke up," Selphie said, shrugging as she poured cocoa powder into the mugs. 

"Oh, right," Seifer muttered. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Selphie glanced over her shoulder at him. "Squall really helped me through the breakup."

"What, like bought you ice cream?"

Selphie snorted a laugh. "No way. He kicked Irvy's ass for cheating on me. That's why they are short with each other in the meetings."

"He said Irvine wanted an open relationship..." Seifer trailed off, realizing Squall had held back the real details of Selphie's business. 

"That's the public story." Selphie smiled at him wryly at him, then glanced at his neck. "You switched your necklaces back?"

"Yeah, Squall left mine on the counter before his shower. Not like we can really walk around like that," Seifer muttered. Selphie hummed curiously, not offering her thoughts. She poured the milk in the mugs and turned off the burner, then carried both drinks to the couch. Seifer pushed away from the wall to sit gingerly on the edge of the sofa next to her, accepting the mug. He eyed her warily. "Why are you being so welcoming? I tried to kill you once."

"Wasn't it like three times?" Selphie smirked at him a little, but there was amusement in her eyes, not malice. "You were cleared of your charges because of mind-distortion magic, so…"

"You didn't want me in the SeeD meetings at first," Seifer noted. Selphie shrugged.

"I can't really say I trust you completely but…Squall does, and I trust him."

"Maybe he shouldn't." Seifer frowned, taking a sip of his cocoa. 

"Are you going to hurt him?"

"What if I do?"

"Then I'll kick your ass," Selphie said easily, and Seifer knew she could. He nodded and focused on his drink again. Selphie spoke up again, finally going back to the real reason he was here. "I don't know if he's gay."

Seifer sighed a little and brushed his hand through his hair.

"Are you?" Selphie asked curiously. She cupped her mug with both hands as she took a large gulp, her eyes big as she studied him. Seifer glared at her a little, then shrugged and drank more of his cocoa. Selphie hummed slyly, then spoke a little teasingly. "You like him."

"So what if I do?"

"Don't you 'so what' me," Selphie chided. "Say it properly."

Seifer glared at her. "Yeah, I like him. A lot."

Selphie smiled huge and let out a little squeal, wiggling a bit in her seat. "I think he likes you, too. Squall has never looked at _ anyone _ the way he looks at you."

"What about Rinoa?" Seifer asked, lifting an eyebrow at her. He tried to calm his heart when she shook her head.

"Not even her. I thought he loved her and I really encouraged him to go after her, but they were not a good match at all, and Squall was super stressed out while they were together. Rinoa is pretty high maintenance and Squall is very self-protective."

"Self-protective?" Seifer asked, fishing for an explanation. Selphie eyed him for a moment and then seemed to decide to go all in with him.

"He acts like he doesn't care about anyone, but he's really afraid to be abandoned. It's really hard for him to get close to people."

"He told you this?" Seifer asked, frowning. He couldn't imagine Squall telling anyone something so personal.

"Rinoa told me, a couple weeks after they started dating. Apparently Ellone told her in confidence after she saw it in Squall's head during one of our dreams. She was trying to make sure Rinoa knew she had to be careful with him, but Rinoa is…" Selphie trailed off, choosing not to insult her other friend.

Seifer furrowed his brows. His understanding of Ellone, her gifts, and her relation to Squall was shaky at best, but after meeting her a couple times, he knew that she had some pretty powerful mind magic that was closely related to junctioning and time manipulation. 

"And now you're telling me because-"

"Because I think he _ really _ likes you. He's relaxed in a way I've never seen him before and he gravitates towards you. And he's probably really scared about that and will fight it."

"Don't you think you should have kept this to yourself? I don't think he'd like people talking about him like some sort of case study," Seifer asked, a little irritated on Squall's behalf. Selphie pulled back a little, blinking in surprise. Then she smiled.

"Yeah, I probably should have, but I think I just made the right choice in telling you. Sometimes Squall is too closed off for his own good and you just convinced me that I actually want you to win." Selphie rested one elbow on her knee and dropped her chin in her palm, smiling at him warmly. "So use the information wisely."

Seifer eyed her mildly, then finished his cocoa off with a swig and got up. He set his cup on the counter and headed for the door.

"Thanks, pipsqueak."

"Anytime! Oh, and Seifer?"

Seifer glanced back at her and she gave him a big, threatening smile.

"I really will End you if you hurt him."

"Noted."

\--

After a long week, Saturday finally came, and after a long day on the train, Squall slung his overnight bag on his shoulder and peered out the train window as it pulled up to Fisherman's Horizon. Afternoon sunlight glinted off buildings and the people seemed busy and in good spirits. He hadn't seen the place since the end of the war and it looked like it had held up well. He glanced at Seifer when he came up behind him, trying not to let his nerves get frazzled by such a casual approach.

Over the past week since their very dangerous exchange on the clothing boutique, Squall had made efforts to act as naturally as possible with Seifer, making sure to stay out of his personal space and even focusing on SeeD work during dinner. It helped that things in Deling were actually requiring more of his attention. Quistis reported that the riots were getting worse, especially after Piet ordered the local police department to start enforcing curfews. It was starting to look like Squall would need to make a personal visit to assess the situation. General Caraway was requesting his presence specifically and Xu decided they could take part of Squall's PR campaign through Galbadia to "build relations," as she put it, giving him the cover he needed for the second SeeD team entering the territory. They had a trip scheduled in two weeks, giving him just enough time to launch Operation Golden Boy in Balamb before starting his international tour.

He was pretty pissed off about it all, which also helped him keep his focus off Seifer.

"You've been here, right?" Seifer asked, drawing Squall out of his thoughts. "Locals are still talking about Garden crashing into the bridge."

"Yeah. We didn't know how to steer it after getting it mobile."

Seifer looked out the window as the train stopped and nodded toward the platform. Squall glanced over and saw Fujin and Raijin waving at them. When the doors opened, Seifer grabbed his own bag and sauntered out, throwing both hands out in a very uncool gesture. Squall snorted and Seifer squinted back at him briefly before turning back to his friends as they jogged up to him.

"Yo, man! We've missed you, ya know?"

"AFFIRMATIVE."

Raijin gave Seifer a half-handshake, half-hug, then stepped back as Fujin smiled and nodded at the blond, earning a warm salute back. Then Raijin locked his sight on Squall and raised his eyebrows high.

"Whoa, it's Squall."

"I told you he was coming," Seifer said, starting to walk down the platform.

"Yeah I know, I just didn't believe you, ya know? How you doin, man?" Raijin stuck his hand out toward Squall and Squall took it only to stumble when he was pulled into a similar half-hug. Seifer smirked back at them as Squall straightened back up, giving a confused little frown.

"JOB?" Fujin asked as they all joined Seifer and headed into the city together.

"S'Alright," Seifer said, glancing at Squall when he fell into place beside him. "Pay's pretty damn nice, at least." He looked back over to Fujin and Raijin. "I'll still cover my rent for our place but I'm gonna stick it out with Squall. I'm here to pack up and make it permanent."

"Seriously?" Raijin leaned forward to look at Squall, grinning. "Fujin had to force him to go, ya know." 

"Nobody forced me to do anything," Seifer said, clicking his tongue.

"HEADACHES?" Fujin asked, looking pointedly at Squall. He smirked a little in response.

"His cooking makes up for it." Squall blinked in surprise when Seifer's friends stopped in their tracks and stared at him.

"He cooks for you??" Raijin asked, stunned. Seifer clicked his tongue again and kept walking without pausing. "He doesn't cook for anybody."

"GOURMET."

"I ain't a gourmet, shut the fuck up," Seifer said in irritation.

"Might as well be," Raijin said, walking again. They caught up just a few steps behind Seifer. "He got Kadowaki to teach him over the years, ya know."

"PICKY EATER."

Squall huffed a laugh at the idea of Seifer being picky and everyone stopped to stare at him again, this time including Seifer. Squall cleared his throat and looked away, feeling his face heat up. Hyne, why couldn't he stop blushing all the fucking time?

Raijin grinned wide and exchanged a glance with Fujin. "Dude, if you think that's funny, we've got stories."

"T-REXAUR."

"Oi! What the hell?" Seifer demanded indignantly. Raijin and Fujin walked past him, ignoring his outburst, and pulled a startled Squall along with them. 

\--

It made sense now why Fujin and Raijin had followed Seifer into the war, even without mind influencing magic. During his trial, Seifer had claimed that he had threatened and forced them to join him and their charges were cleared with his, but Squall could easily see that had never been true. He had always thought Seifer was a bully and a tyrant, leading his lackeys around in the disciplinary committee as they rode on his coattails, but up close, sitting in their three bedroom apartment, he could see they were family. They bickered and joked easily as if Seifer hadn't been gone for the past month, as if he had never fallen into that spiral that Fujin and Raijin had asked Squall to pull him out of less than a year ago. 

Or maybe it was better to say they were closer because of that. Somehow they had gone through hell together and survived, and because of that they were even more secure. And in less than an hour, Squall felt completely disarmed by them all, genuinely at ease and slipping into the warmth of their home without realizing it.

Fujin harassed Seifer to make them dinner and he begrudgingly got to work in the kitchen, telling his old roommates not to get used to this as he prepared some chicken Raijin had picked up that afternoon. Fujin hovered over his shoulder, watching and occasionally stealing pieces of bread or cheese when Seifer's back was turned, though Squall could tell he was letting her do it. 

Meanwhile, Raijin sat at the kitchen table with Squall, chattering away about Seifer's various fuck ups over the years while Squall struggled to hold back snickers and finally failed when Raijin enthusiastically described sixteen-year-old Seifer's utter horror when a wild T-Rexaur peed on his leg during an off-campus battle, which caused all the nearby female T-Rexaurs in heat to come scream at him in their mating dance.

"And they just- surround him, ya know," Raijin wheezed as Squall covered his face and shook hard with restrained laughter, "headbutting him and then turning around to scratch at the ground, shoving their tails in his face before headbutting him again. And he's getting shoved left and right, can't hit a single one with his blade, shouting for me and Fuj to save him. But we were dying, we couldn't breathe. I had to go get an officer to help us. And then the officer lost it too when he saw him."

Squall lowered his hand enough to cover just his mouth and looked up at Seifer, his eyes tearing up as he tried to stop his laughter. Seifer glanced at him over his shoulder and shook his head ruefully, grinning as he stuck the chicken in the oven and washed his hands. "I can't believe you're laughing at me. I'm going to kick your ass later."

"I can- I can picture it so clearly," Squall said helplessly, struggling to get words out. He covered his face again as he lost control. "Oh my god. You're so lame."

"Oh, that's it," Seifer laughed with genuine surprise. He wiped his hands on a clean dish towel before quickly stalking across the room. Squall jumped up from his seat and stumbled backwards.

"I'm sorry-" Squall tried, his laughter getting stronger. He jumped backwards out of Seifer's reach, holding up both hands in surrender.

"I'll make you sorry," Seifer laughed, following him around the table. Raijin cursed good-naturedly on Squall's behalf with amusement.

"RUN," Fujin suddenly commanded with a laugh, throwing open the door. Squall didn't need to be told twice, knowing that Seifer's promise to kick his ass was serious. He bolted for the door and took off down the street, turning toward the ocean, only to shout in shock when Seifer quickly caught up to him and jerked him back, swiftly throwing him face down over his shoulder. Squall tried to knee Seifer painfully in the chest, but Seifer caught his leg and then threw him with his full strength. Squall gasped and snagged Seifer's collar, pulling him off balance and dragging him down so they both fell off the pier and crashed into the water together. 

Squall broke the surface first, shoving his hair back from his eyes to quickly look around. He managed to suck in a lungful of air before Seifer yanked him back under water by his ankle. They both surfaced together when they came back up to breathe again, gasping and wiping water out of their eyes, only for Squall to immediately sweep a wave of water straight into Seifer's face with a snicker. Seifer coughed hard and sank back beneath the water to avoid another wave attack. Squall kicked out to prevent him from grabbing his leg a second time, but paused to look around when Seifer seemed to disappear. He pedaled slowly in the water for a moment, looking down into the shadowy depths trying to see blonde hair. 

Squall peered around suspiciously, trying to sense his rival somewhere, oblivious as Seifer silently surfaced behind him and then roughly dunked him under. Squall kicked back up for air and spluttered, reaching out to grab Seifer's arm to stay above water while he regained his senses. 

"Okay truce, truce," Seifer laughed and pulled him close. Squall shoved his hair back from his forehead again, then blushed deeply at how close they were, breathless from the fighting and the sudden intimacy.

"Think I'm funny, huh?" Seifer murmured with amusement, his voice low and very sexy. Squall swallowed, panting as they treaded water in the shadow of the pier. 

They both glanced up when they heard footsteps above them, followed by Rajin's voice. "Where do you think they went?"

Seifer gave Squall a serious look and held a finger up to his lips. He grabbed Squall's belt loop and silently pedaled backwards a little, pulling them further under the pier. They looked up again and saw shoes through the gaps between the slates. Seifer moved them a little closer to a post so they wouldn't be as noticeable.

Squall kept his focus on Seifer, holding onto his forearm as they drifted. His heart was pounding in his ears, so incredibly loud. It would take so little to close the space between them. Without really thinking, he drifted in and Seifer watched him cautiously as he pressed into his space to whisper in his ear.

"Why are we hiding?"

Seifer shivered hard and turned his head to meet Squall's eyes. 

"I dunno. I guess we should go back…" Seifer whispered back reluctantly.

"…Yeah…" Squall replied, trying not to seem as hazy as he felt. Seifer bounced one eyebrow at him, then finally pulled away when Fujin and Raijin walked off again. 

They climbed up a nearby ladder and Seifer teasingly pushed Squall's shoulder as they walked back to the apartment, just to touch him again, earning a shy smirk from the brunet. By the time they were back inside, Fujin and Raijin were taking the chicken out of the beeping oven. Both of them laughed at the sight of Seifer and Squall soaked from head to toe and Raijin threw some towels over a couple kitchen chairs so they could sit and eat the baked chicken, brussels sprouts, and garlic cheese bread Seifer had cooked.

The meal passed easily with jokes and questions about Seifer's new job, and Seifer kept catching small glances from Squall. Hyne, he wanted to hear that gorgeous laugh again. It was the best damned sound he had ever heard in his life. Someday he would thank Raijin for telling that god-awful story.

After dinner, Fujin and Raijin took care of cleanup while Squall and Seifer took turns showering and getting t-shirts and pajama pants on.

"I'll sleep on the couch," Squall said after Fujin and Raijin said goodnight and retreated to their respective bedrooms. Seifer entered his own room and left the door open for Squall to follow him.

Inside, the space was neat and clean, with dark blues and grays as the main colors. A double-sized bed took up most of the space in the middle and a desk sat in one corner. Squall trailed in to pick up a framed photo of Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin standing outside of Balamb not long before the war. Raijin was the one taking the selfie, grinning so wide his eyes were almost closed. Fujin smiled with quiet amusement beside him and next to her Seifer was smirking and lifting an eyebrow at the camera. 

"Nah, you can crash on my bed," Seifer said easily, and Squall glanced over to see Seifer pull one of the two pillows off the bed. He set the picture down.

"Where are you going to sleep?" Squall asked as Seifer ducked into his closet for an extra blanket.

"The couch?" He asked over his shoulder.

"It's a loveseat…"

"Yeah?"

"You're over six foot," Squall said dryly. At his most recent physical after the war, Squall had grown an inch, yet Seifer still seemed to tower over him. He both hated and liked that a little too much.

"That is true," Seifer walked back over and grinned as he stood at his full height in front of him. He leaned over a little, tilting his head as if trying to gauge their difference. "I'm six-two. You're what? Five-eight?"

"Fine-nine…" Squall said, glaring and feeling his face heat up.

"Cute." Seifer chuckled and Squall's eyes narrowed a little, his blush deepening. 

"I can still kick your ass," Squall reminded him. 

"Well, you're too tall to sleep on that couch comfortably, too, and you’re my guest," Seifer said, ignoring the jab. He looked down at the hardwood floor as if wondering how shitty it would be to sleep there. Then he glanced at Squall, cautious as he offered an alternative. "Do you want to just sleep back to back?"

"…Sure," Squall said carefully. Stupidly. He hesitated, then shut the bedroom door, his heart beating fast as privacy closed in around them. This was no different from living together, right? No different from sitting on the couch together to watch television. He pushed down his nervousness and walked to one side of the bed, pulling the blankets back as Seifer returned his pillow to his side. They climbed in silently, both trying to seem casual about it as they faced away from one another. Then Squall sank into the consuming scent of Seifer and immediately sighed into the pillow that smelled of soap and his soft cologne. Relaxation consumed him instantly. 

"That tired?" Seifer asked quietly with a chuckle in response to Squall's sigh, not turning around to look at him.

"Guess so…" 

"You better not kick in your sleep."

"Same to you," Squall inhaled contentedly again, curling up on his side. He felt good. Terrifyingly good. If he was thinking clearly, he'd get up and move to the couch. This was incredibly dangerous. But after such a good day spending time in Seifer’s home, laughing with his family and getting time with him away from the imprisoning walls of Balamb Garden, time away from their life as mercenaries for just a few hours, he didn't want to think about danger. He didn't want to think about Seifer rejecting him, didn’t want to lay there wondering when this comfort would be taken from him. He just wanted to enjoy it. He nuzzled his face into the pillow before speaking quietly. "...Goodnight."

"Night," Seifer murmured softly and when he shifted to press his back against Squall's, neither of them moved away.

\-- 

Seifer woke up feeling unbelievably good. He pulled the warmth in front of him in closer, recognizing Squall’s body even before he fully understood he was hugging the standoffish commander from behind. Squall shifted back against him with a soft hum, still asleep, gently pulling Seifer's arm against his chest. Seifer slowly blinked his eyes open.

Well, this was wonderful.

He let his eyes drift shut again and nuzzled his nose against the back of Squall's hair, deciding he was going to enjoy this as long as possible. Hyne, they fit so perfectly together. He drifted back into a light doze, then peeked one eye open a moment when Squall tensed and Seifer felt his rival's heart start slamming in his chest, signaling he had woken up after all. Seifer quickly decided the safest thing to do was pretend to still be asleep and he relaxed his face and his breathing. Squall shifted a little as if to look at him over his shoulder, then slowly relaxed in his arms, though his heart continued to race. 

"Seifer?" Squall whispered softly. Seifer sighed heavily and hugged him a little tighter, still feigning deep sleep. This close, he could hear Squall inhale sharply at the motion, then a wave of shock ran through him when Squall pressed back into him again and slid his hand along Seifer’s arm in an undeniably intimate caress.

Squall had listened as carefully as possible to any changes in Seifer's breathing, but it seemed the blond was sleeping hard. Squall himself had slept better than he could ever remember, and Seifer felt so damn good at his back. He was so wonderfully warm and for the first time in his life, Squall felt… He opened his eyes again. 

Safe. Seifer felt incredibly safe. Squall furrowed his brows, understanding hitting him like a train, quickly followed by a rush of pure fear.

It wasn't just a crush.

As carefully as possible, he quickly slipped out of Seifer's arms, needing space. He looked up sharply when Seifer rolled into his warm spot after him, then Squall swiftly moved to his bag to pretend to dig for his toiletries, hiding the shaking of his hands.

Seifer sighed heavily and lifted himself up on his elbows, squinting at Squall as if he just woke up. Squall was crouched next to his bag, unable to resist glancing up at him and blushing beautifully.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Squall asked uneasily.

Seifer laid back down on his side, tucking his arm under Squall’s pillow, his heart speeding up too as he decided to take a risk. That caresses just moments ago strengthened his hope. His expression serious, he murmured to his rival softly, "Come back to bed."

But Squall snorted dismissively as if Seifer was making a joke and focused harder on digging through his bag. The brunet's cheeks turned a brighter shade of red and Seifer chuckled miserably, burying his own face into the pillow. Of course it wasn't that easy.

Squall finally retrieved his toiletries, trying not to panic. He tried to sound as casual as possible when he spoke again. "How long do you think it'll take you to pack up today?"

Seifer sighed heavily and rolled onto his back, deciding to let Squall have his space for now, keeping Selphie’s generous warning in mind. "Probably thirty minutes. I don't own a lot."

"We can probably catch a pretty early train back to-"

"Nope," Seifer cut him off and Squall looked up at him warily. Seifer turned his head to meet his eyes. "Today is a day off. We're sticking around until the last train."

"To do what?"

"We're going fishing," Seifer replied, rolling onto his side to prop his head up on his palm. Squall furrowed his brows.

"What?"

Seifer huffed a light laugh. "Fishing, you know, sitting on the pier to relax. You need another day off."

Squall stood up and placed a hand on his hip, lifting an unamused eyebrow. "You sound like them…"

"Like who?"

"Selphie, Quistis, and Zell," Squall answered.

"I've been living with you for four weeks now-"

"Technically only three since you didn't come home during the assessment week," Squall interjected just to be stubborn.

"-and I've seen you read building laws for relaxation," Seifer managed to finish without tripping up over Squall calling their suite his home, too. 

"I work out to relax," Squall said, his eyebrows twitching in irritation. 

"It's part of your job to work out," Seifer said, forcing his tone to sound flat. 

"...I've started learning to cook."

"You've learned to cook exactly one meal," Seifer said. Then he asked curiously, "Was that relaxing?"

Serial glanced away, his heart skipping in memory of the intimate moment. "No…"

Seifer laughed genuinely and sat up, pushing a hand through his hair. Nothing about wooing Squall Leonhart was going to be easy.

"Then we're going fishing. Get ready. If we catch something early enough, I'll teach you how to cook it for lunch."

\--

The last train out of Fisherman’s Horizon was half full when Seifer and Squall boarded. The lights were low to allow passengers to sleep and Squall settled into his seat with a quiet yawn, earning a smirk from Seifer as he sat down next to him. It was after ten pm and they wouldn't be getting into Balamb until after one in the morning.

"I thought days off were supposed to make you less tired," Squall said, keeping his voice low so he wouldn't bother the people around them. 

"It's the sun, it drains you of energy. You'll sleep really well tonight," Seifer said with quiet amusement. "You look a little sun-burned, though."

"Really? It doesn’t hurt." Squall touched his nose lightly. It had been another good day and he had enjoyed fishing more than he realized he would, especially when he and Seifer turned it into a friendly competition. Fujin and Raijin had joined them, bringing a case of beer and teaching Squall casting tricks that Seifer stubbornly refused to use. The tips didn’t really seem to help since Seifer won anyway, but it had been fun and cooking their catch for dinner had been strangely rewarding. 

"Might hurt tomorrow." Seifer smirked.

"You don't look burnt,” Squall noted.

"Well, I spent a lot of time in the sun at my last job," his rival said a little reluctantly. "Built up a tan."

"At the dock, right? As a loading hand?"

"Yeah, real glamorous work." Seifer closed his eyes, signaling that he didn't want to talk about it, seeming embarrassed. Squall watched him carefully from the corner of his eye. Why did he always get talkative around Seifer? It had always been that way and it was only getting worse the more time they spent together.

"Did you like the work?"

"Are you stupid?" Seifer asked bitterly. "It wasn't my dream job."

Squall hesitated moment, not sure if he should say anything right then. But he couldn’t think of a better time and didn’t want to hold off with this conversation, especially since things were about to get hectic with Galbadia and interviews.He eyed Seifer carefully before speaking again. 

"...Cid told you right?"

"I don't like handouts, Squall,” Seifer replied, knowing what he meant instantly.

"It's not a handout."

"Then what is it?" Seifer opened his eyes and turned his head a little to glare at him. "You know I'm not SeeD."

"You should have been."

"That's not what you said back then."

"I was wrong." Squall held Seifer's gaze for a long moment. 

Then Seifer scoffed quietly and closed his eyes again. "No, you weren't."

"Before the war…" Squall started reluctantly, looking down at his hands as he spun his ring around on his finger, "I thought a SeeD was just supposed to complete his mission. Follow his orders and refrain from deviating from his instructions."

Seifer looked at him quietly, frowning a little. He had always hated that mentality.

"But then they put me in charge," Squall continued with a disapproving shake of his head.

"You did a good job," Seifer admitted. 

"I didn't know what I was doing. Everyone kept looking to me for answers, but the only order I received was to 'win' or 'defeat the enemy.' It wasn't clear how I should do that or even who the enemy was sometimes."

"Squall," Seifer warned him tiredly. They had had a great weekend and he really didn't want to ruin it by talking about Squall's perspective on his enemies during the war. He knew that already, after all. Squall had told him directly that Seifer was no different than any other monster he had to cut down. 

Seifer clenched his jaw, glaring at the seat in front of him.

Squall closed his eyes and tipped his head back a little, furrowing his brows. "I kept thinking about how you would handle things."

"Shut up, Leonhart," Seifer growled in irritation.

"If you had made SeeD-"

"Shut _ up _, Squall." Seifer snapped quietly, turning his face toward him fully. Squall looked at him mildly from the corner of his eye. "Shut the fuck up if you knows good for you."

Squall closed his mouth but held Seifer's gaze for a long moment before looking away again.

"I made my choices and there's no changing the past," Seifer said bitterly, his focus still on Squall. "You should know that better than anyone."

"I'm not trying to change the past."

"Then what the hell are you trying to do?"

"Make up for it."

Blue eyes locked on green and Seifer wasn't sure if Squall was answering him or giving him an order. He swallowed hard, scared of the challenge in Squall's eyes. 

"I don't deserve to be SeeD," Seifer murmured tensely.

Squall frowned a little and turned his face fully toward him, searching his eyes for a long moment before furrowing his brows when he realized what he saw there. The insecurity he never would have expected from his rival, the failure haunting him. Not because he lost the war, but because he started it. 

Squall's voice was soft and confident when he spoke again, the voice of the commander of Garden. 

"I get to decide that."

Seifer looked down, unable to hold that gaze any longer. His sight landed on Squall's pendant, the roaring lion glinting dully in the dim light of the train. He had seen that lion dangling before him in so many battles…

He wished they were in his bed again, back to back. He wanted to roll over and slip his arms around him, safe and warm. 

"Will you accept?" Squall prompted.

Seifer slouched in his seat, letting his legs fall open to press against Squall's, needing some kind of comfort from him. Squall immediately shifted to lean his shoulder against him as well and Seifer looked over again, that intense gaze closer than before.

"What about the pay and everything? I thought you didn't want me under Garden authority," Seifer asked, pressing into him subconsciously. 

"I've been very careful with your contract," Squall murmured, almost reassuringly. "You won't get additional pay. Your status is basically contingent on mine and you'll still only report to me."

"So you'll decide my entire fate," Seifer clarified.

"I already do."

Seifer chuckled ruefully at that and finally untensed. "Yeah, you do," he whispered with a little too much honesty in his voice. 

Squall shifted a little without moving away from him and retrieved a small velvet box from his jacket pocket. He flipped the lid open with his thumb and offered it to Seifer. The small badge showed Balamb Garden's insignia, catching the light sharper than Squall's Griever, flashing a little like fire, identical to any other SeeD badge except that this one came from Squall's hands, not a bureaucracy of puppet masters.

Seifer just continued to stare at the badge that he had been denied for years, taunted in the past with its empty promise of prestige and recognition, withheld from him because he was always too big for a system that wanted him to die for it. After a long moment, Squall finally moved and Seifer abruptly grabbed the brunet's wrist, his heart stalling out as he thought Squall was pulling the offer away. They looked at each other again and Seifer felt his face heat up. Then he watched as Squall’s slender but strong fingers freed the badge from the box. 

"Do you accept it?" His commander asked again.

"Y-yeah…" Seifer cleared his throat, keeping his voice soft as he tried again. "Yes."

Squall rotated a little in his seat and reached across Seifer's chest to pin the badge to his coat lapel.

"I thought about doing this formally in front of everyone but-"

"This is better," Seifer murmured, watching as Squall sat back again. He finally looked down at the badge and then huffed a helpless, quiet laugh. "Hyne."

Squall smirked and passed him the velvet box.

"Congratulations, SeeD Almasy."

In the private space of their seats, surrounded by strangers minding their own business, the muted clatter of the tracks flying beneath them, Seifer searched Squall's eyes with a serious expression, wondering how many people in history fell in love with their grim reaper.

"Thank you," he said sincerely. He smirked softly when Squall blushed and looked down at his hands awkwardly, shifting to lean his shoulder against Seifer's again. Seifer rested against him and the train carried them side by side through the quiet night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know Squall cracking up and playing around with Seifer like that is pretty out of character, but this trip was supposed to be a small break for him from the harsh reality that he's usually consumed by. For a brief weekend, he was allowed to pretend he was, well, not normal, but maybe free.
> 
> If things seem to be moving at a fast pace, keep in mind that Seifer has known he has been in love with Squall for years already, he just thought it was an impossibility and clung to their rivalry instead. And then there's Squall who is finally realizing that the only guy he gave the time of day before the war is maybe more important to him than he ever acknowledged in the past and...
> 
> Listen, I said slow burn a couple chapters ago, but Seifer's impossible to hold back, okay?? And Squall reacts to his energy point for point. You have no idea how many scenes I had to cut short or else they were absolutely going to kiss. The answer is every scene, literally every scene is a perfect opportunity. They're hopeless, okay!
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for reading, kudosing, and commenting! You bring me so much happiness, you have no idea. I'm so glad there are people to love this ship with me~ ❤
> 
> Updates will likely slow down again as I sort out the threads of this fic.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I retconned how many times assassination attempts were made against Squall. The total is only 3, now, with the most recent being the attack in Esthar.

"Alright, remember it's just a twenty minute interview. That's all you have to get through. Don't be afraid to waste time pretending to think about your answers. You've memorized the proposed questions packet?" Xu asked Squall, hovering behind Selphie as she powdered his face with nearly invisible makeup meant to keep the lights from glaring on his skin and hide some of his mild sunburn.

"Yeah," Squall replied flatly from his seat. He glared at Selphie as she bopped him on the nose and gave him a smile with her tongue sticking out. They were in a small changing room at Weapons Monthly headquarters, a much larger publishing house than Timber Maniacs had been, especially since WM opened a television studio shortly after live broadcasting came back up after the war. The studio was definitely thriving.

"What do you do if they blind-side you with a question not on the list?" Xu grilled Squall, more nervous than anyone else in the room. 

"Keep things vague and smile through it."

"Can you smile for me one more time?"

"No."

"Squall!" Xu sighed heavily in an uncharacteristic show of frustration. Squall glanced at her and smiled gently, then immediately frowned again. Xu gave him a flat look. "You are able to hold that look longer than a second, right?"

"I can do my job, Xu," Squall said. He looked up when Seifer entered the room, returning from scouting the studio. He was dressed casually in jeans and a black v-neck sweater to stay warm against the chilliness that was lingering late in the spring season. Only his sheathed gunblade belted around his hips gave away that he wasn't just a guest on a tour. Squall let his gaze trail back up to catch on Griever flashing silver against Seifer's chest. 

Squall had been careful this time not to put the necklace on his rival himself. He instead passed the chain over and told Seifer to put it on so he wouldn't lose it, and Seifer had obeyed instantly, keeping his eyes locked on Squall as he hooked it around his neck. And something dangerously possessive stirred in Squall at the sight of his chain hanging off him, just like the last time. Squall had accepted Seifer's necklace in return, enjoying the feel of it against his throat a little too much, the metal still warm from Seifer's skin. It had been a brief exchange and then Xu had arrived to talk Squall through his Garden approved answers one last time and Seifer had left to inspect everything, taking his security job seriously.

"You look good," Seifer said as he approached now, smirking at Squall while looking him over. Squall gave him a flat look, glad that his slight sunburn was hiding his blush. He had chosen the dark red button up, for no reason, _ really, _ and paired it with washed out blue jeans this time. He stuck with his usual boots and had his gunblade resting in its case against the vanity, which he would bring to discuss during the end of the interview. 

Selphie winked at Squall so Seifer couldn't see and Squall frowned as she slipped away to pack up her makeup box, not sure what that look was supposed to mean. Seifer stopped in front of his chair, reaching forward to tug his collar straight, taking advantage of Squall's distraction. "Nervous?"

"No." Squall glared up at him and gently clasped Seifer's hand to pull it away, knowing his shirt looked fine. Seifer bounced an eyebrow at him in a good-natured taunt as Squall let him go.

Squall had thought it would be strange to be around Seifer after their weekend together, especially after the way he panicked when he woke up in his arms, but yesterday had been just as nice as their trip, and instead of feeling closed off, Squall found himself struggling to hold back. He wanted to touch Seifer as much as possible, wanted to talk with him, argue with him, tease him. It was terrifying, but every time his eyes landed on his rival, adrenaline rushed through his veins, addictive and compelling. Everything over the past few days was all so mundane, yet it felt as exhilarating as a battle and Squall wanted more. And whether Seifer knew it or not, he was taunting Squall with every lingering look and casual touch that Squall wasn't confident he _ should _return despite his desire to. He wasn't really sure how Seifer meant any of it.

They had gotten in late Sunday night and were allowed to sleep in, fortunately (unfortunately) in their own beds, since they didn't have any meetings for the day. Xu had expressed her frustration over their unannounced trip and made sure to adjust Squall's schedule so he could prepare and rest before the Weapons Monthly interview the next day. He and Seifer had used the free time to go pick up aloe vera, run some laundry, tidy up their suite, and have dinner together, which turned out to be a quiet surprise of spaghetti with meatballs. Squall suspected the meal was meant as a thank you for Seifer's new SeeD status. His rival had started the sauce early in the afternoon, made from scratch, and it was absolutely delicious. Squall was looking forward to the leftovers later this evening nearly as much as the dinner itself, and he was looking forward to their privacy again even more. 

"Alright, ten minutes," Xu said checking her watch. She walked up to them and then paused, catching sight of Squall's necklace standing out against Seifer's black sweater. Squall felt heat creep into his face and he glared at her challengingly when she glanced at him, but then she acted like she hadn't noticed a thing. "Let's get in position for the interview."

"You make it sound like you're strategizing an attack." Seifer lifted a brow at her. 

She smiled at him almost coyly. "Always."

Seifer huffed a laugh and Squall felt his stomach sink as he glanced between the two of them. He quickly looked down, trying to silence his stupid heart as it started aching unexpectedly. Fuck…had he missed something?

"What's the matter?" Seifer asked, stepping in closer to him as Xu and Selphie headed out the door. Squall stood up and tried to slip past him.

"Nothing."

Before he could get by, Seifer caught his arm and pulled him back around. "Bullshit. I know that look."

"What look?" Squall asked defensively, glaring at him. Instead of answering, Seifer scanned his eyes intently. Squall held his gaze, not backing down from the challenge.

"Why are you so mad at me?" Seifer asked quietly, his brows furrowed low as he tilted his head in confusion.

"Cut it out," Squall muttered, pulling his arm out of Seifer's grip. He tried to brush past him again, but Seifer stepped in his way.

"Cut what out?" Seifer asked seriously.

"Playing with me," Squall suddenly snapped, scowling at him. His eyes widened when Seifer reached for his hip and snagged his belt loop, jerking him in closer. Squall braced a hand against Seifer's chest automatically to steady himself. He instantly tried to pull back, only for his heart to stall out when Seifer grabbed his hand to keep it against his chest as he glared at him angrily.

"I am never playing with you," Seifer said like a low threat and Squall stared at him in alarm as his thought processes shut down. Seifer's hand on his hip turned possessive. "What did I do to piss you off?"

"What the hell are you two doing?" Xu asked as she marched back into the room and Seifer saw a flicker of defensiveness in Squall's face at the sound of her voice. Xu stopped short at the intimate sight in front of her and Seifer tightened his grip on Squall's hip to stop him from pulling back. Pieces clicked into place and Seifer kept his eyes on Squall, not even sparring Xu a glance.

"Give us a minute," Seifer replied to her gruffly and Squall swallowed tightly, apparently too flustered to put up a real fight yet.

"You've got five minutes…" Xu said carefully, then slipped out of the room, shutting the door.

Seifer immediately shifted Squall's hand to cover his heart, letting the commander feel how hard it was hammering in his chest. Squall's brows furrowed as he glanced down at the sensation briefly before meeting Seifer's eyes again.

"I'm never playing with you and I don't give a fuck about Xu," Seifer murmured intently. Squall blushed beautifully, clenching his jaw a little and glaring at him. He opened his mouth to say something, then shook his head and finally pulled his hand back, looking away.

"I have to get to the interview…"

Seifer closed his eyes and tipped his head back in frustration. He let Squall go and allowed him to pass this time, then he rolled his neck and shook his irritation off to follow Squall out of the room, both of them needing to focus on their jobs.

They made their way down the hall toward a wide stage decorated like a generic weapons shop, and Squall was quickly cornered by a director and several assistants. Seifer instantly intercepted them, giving his unsheathed gunblade a casual twirl, making everyone jump back, except for Squall who seemed to expect it.

"Keep your hands where I can see them unless you want to lose them," Seifer said pleasantly. 

"I-I have a microphone," one assistant said, holding up a small mic that could clip to Squall's shirt. Selphie skipped up and plucked it from his fingers.

"I'll set that up!" 

Seifer sheathed his blade again, ignoring the wary looks he received, turning to smirk cockily at Squall. The normal gesture seemed to calm the brunet down some and instead of that distraught look Seifer had seen in the changing room, the one he knew meant Squall was putting up walls, he received a snort of dismissal. It was the closest thing to forgiveness as Squall ever gave, not that Seifer was entirely positive what exactly he was being forgiven for. Challenging the status quo? Practically confessing? Looking for an answer from Squall to a question he wasn't even allowed to say out loud?

Probably all of it. For a resentful moment, Seifer wondered how the hell Squall had let his guard down for Rinoa but refused to do so for Seifer. Then he swallowed back bitterness as he remembered Rinoa hadn't chained Squall to a prison wall to cause him soul-wrenching agony for her own satisfaction. Probably.

Squall walked onto the stage and took a seat in a worn-out leather armchair across from a beautiful woman with curly black hair and a lot of cleavage showing in her black tank top. She looked across the room to the camera men and gave them a questioning signal that they returned in a way that seemed satisfactory. Then the director shouted for quiet and the lights shifted, casting the staff in shadows, and Seifer had to direct his attention away from Squall to keep an eye open for any threats.

"Welcome to another episode of WMD - Weapons Monthly Discussion! I'm your host, Zia, and today I have the most elusive and most desirable man on the planet with me for his first exclusive interview since the end of the Second Sorceress War. He stopped time and then stopped our hearts when he led the victory against an apocalyptic fate, saving billions across the planet when he took down not one, not two, not even three sorceresses, but an entire succession of witches hellbent on annihilation. He's Commander of Balamb Garden, First Son of the Secret City of Esthar, and a legendary gunblade specialist to top it off, please allow me to introduce you to Squall Leonhart," Zia said in a witty announcer voice. Then she focused on Squall and switched to a warm tone meant to convey intimacy like she and her guest were now fast friends. "Thank you for joining us today, Commander." 

When Squall finally spoke, Seifer couldn't help looking over.

"Thank you, Zia," Squall said with quiet amusement, giving the hostess a wry smile. Seifer heard Xu give a relieved sigh from somewhere beside him, but he couldn't take his eyes off Squall's suddenly charming and warm personality, completely stunned by the act. "'Squall' is fine."

"Squall, then," Zia said, smiling a little, as if she hadn't expected him to be so enchanting until then either. "We only have twenty minutes today, so let's jump right into it. We've had a number of interviews with your colleagues from the war, including Zell Dincht, Irvine Kinneas, and Quistis Trepe, but we'd love to hear your perspective on things."

"It was…a complicated war," Squall answered, maintaining his smile, furrowing his brows a little like he knew that was an obvious understatement to everyone. "A number of reports have been published and released to the public-"

"Heavily redacted reports, including the ones you wrote," Zia interrupted, sounding like a friend who was reminding him of something instead of a shark circling him for weaknesses. 

"For the world's protection," Squall said, nodding as if he was agreeing with her. "When dealing with a time witch from the future, we have to be careful what information we share or else she may be able to use it against us."

"Are you saying that in the future, this war will happen again and it might happen differently?" Zia asked, crossing her legs in her chair.

"We'll only know that in the _ very _ far future," Squall said easily. "Our top priority is securing the world's safety the best we can. But the only truly sure thing is today. We have to live in the present, and for us, the war is over."

"Live in the moment," Zia said sagely, as if she was sharing wisdom. "Any advice on how to do that?"

"Tell people that you care about them and don't be afraid to let them close," Squall said, smiling reassuringly. The damn hypocrite.

"Speaking of letting people close, we of course heard about your break up with the Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly four months ago. What happened there?" Zia asked. Seifer glared at her from the sidelines. He knew the question was in the approved packet, but that didn't make it any less manipulative to ask it on live television.

"Rinoa and I are still close friends. We went through a lot together and we'll always cherish each other," Squall said politely.

"But the romance…?" Zia prompted. "Who ended the relationship?"

"It was a mutual decision. After the war, we realized our lives are on different paths."

"And exactly what path is the sorceress on? Without you as her knight, there's a lot of speculation about her powers going to her head." Zia lifted a challenging eyebrow and Squall smiled at her patiently.

"Rinoa is not a threat and she never will be."

"But there are theories she could go mad," Zia pressed, and Seifer knew she was starting to deviate from the script. He had reviewed the packet over the last week, along with Squall's answers. Everyone knew this was bound to happen, but it was still unpleasant. Squall had a habit of being too blunt with his opinions on things.

"If she goes mad, we'll stop her. Just as we would any sorceress."

"So SeeD is officially an anti-sorceress force now? Does that take precedence over your mercenary work?"

"The well-being of the world always takes precedence over money," Squall answered calmly.

"And you decide what that well-being looks like?" Zia asked seriously, trying to corner Squall.

"Of course not, I'm just one voice representing one group of people. There are many world leaders who determine the best ways to handle a variety of threats."

"But they didn't end the war like you did."

"Are you asking if I'm dangerous?" Squall huffed a small laugh, keeping up his charming persona, though Seifer could tell he was irritated on the inside.

"Don't open up speculation like that, Squall." Seifer heard Xu muttered under her breath, annoyed that the commander was going off script now, too.

"Are you?" Zia asked, clearly enjoying Squall's seeming slip up.

"No," Squall said simply. Zia blinked at his brief reply.

"How can we be sure of that?" She prodded.

"The same way you can be sure anyone in power isn't dangerous," Squall said seriously. His smile was gone but his expression remained open and sincere. "My concern is making sure the world stays safe. I'm a SeeD. My job is to fight for the people who need me. I can only hope I've proven that to everyone already."

"A very diplomatic answer," Zia said, smirking as if they shared a joke. She was definitely more cunning than she wanted people to believe at first glance. Squall smiled at her patiently. "Well I'm glad to hear your relationship with Rinoa ended on good terms at least," Zia continued, deciding to move on to see what else she could get. She gave him a flirty smile to lighten the mood. "Does that mean Squall Leonhart is the most eligible bachelor on the planet?"

"At this point in my life, my work is my priority," Squall answered dutifully.

"Surely that gets lonely," Zia said. She smiled slyly. "There are a lot of rumors about you."

"I'm sure there are," Squall said with a charming huff of laughter. 

"The top two candidates are Selphie Tilmitt and Quistis Trepe, but I have another suspicion," Zia said as if she was the first to come up with her idea and that it wasn't all over the newspapers after the party. "Seifer Almasy." Zia grinned at him like she solved a mystery. Squall smiled at her calmly and she laughed. "That's a pretty good poker face. You can't give us a little hint?"

"Maybe next time," Squall said, smirking a little. Zia smirked back, genuinely amused.

"Alright, I'll hold you to that. Speaking of Seifer, though, you know the world is going nuts over his assignment to your security team." Zia sat back a little, getting back on track of her unapproved hard hitting questions. "Do you care to explain how the former knight of the most heinous sorceress in history has become your closest partner?"

"He was my closest partner before the war," Squall said, his demeanor gentle but serious now. Seifer crossed his arms, feeling unpleasantly vulnerable by that statement. But it had been true, hadn't it? Even if he didn't really understand that back then.

"And yet he fell to mind magic?" Zia asked critically. 

"Yes, that was proven by rigorous tests and in a court of law," Squall answered.

"And we're to believe that's the truth?"

"It is the truth, whether you believe it or not."

"There have been some claiming that Seifer was trouble even before the war, and we have an inside source saying that he failed multiple SeeD exams due to his unpredictability, often putting his comrades and civilians in danger," Zia goaded, watching Squall carefully for a reaction. Seifer scowled and glanced over at Xu.

"Aren't my results supposed to be confidential?" He whispered to her. She gave him a hard look and a sharp nod, clearly as unhappy as he was that someone was leaking private Garden knowledge.

"I knew who he was before and during the war, and I know who he is now. And I trust Seifer Almasy more than any person on this planet," Squall said directly, all of his amusement gone, though he kept his tone mild. Seifer looked over at him again, frowning a little at the honesty in his voice and his face. He swallowed down a feeling of regret, trying to block out the pain in his heart that he had been trying to ignore for weeks now.

"How can you be sure he's not going to betray you again?" Zia asked. "Maybe he still has a connection to the sorceress in the future and she's messing with your tests."

"Is that another theory bouncing around?" Squall asked, furrowing his brows. No one else would be able to tell, but Seifer could see that Squall was getting angry. The set of his shoulders, the slight narrowing of his eyes, the tilt of his lips - all of it would pass as Squall being disappointed or concerned, but behind that mask, Seifer could see he was pissed off. 

"There are a lot of theories," Zia said challengingly. "And if you're compromised because you're dating him, I think people are going to be very upset about that."

Squall looked at Zia quietly for a moment, frowning a little before he spoke again, his words careful and clear. "If Seifer wanted to win that war, he would have."

Suddenly Xu stalked away from Seifer to whisper to a nearby assistant harshly, "Can we go to break? Right now!"

"Are you trying to paint Seifer as a hero?" Zia asked, surprised.

"No," Squall answered plainly. "I'm just telling you the truth."

"So, just so I'm clear, Seifer Almasy could have defeated you in the war?"

"No," Squall answered without hesitation.

"I don't understand," Zia said, frowning at him.

"I'm saying if he was the monster you're trying to make him out to be, we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place," Squall said. "But he's not." 

Zia lifted an eyebrow at him. "What about the damage he _ did _ cause? You're excusing him of that?"

"You mean the damage Ultimecia caused," Squall said bluntly, correcting her.

"You really think everything he did was the will of the sorceress and had nothing to do with his own desires?" Zia asked, a little incredulous.

"I told you I trust him," Squall said, firmer. "That's all I have to say about him."

Zia gave him a long look, then glanced off stage to see a signal. She smiled at Squall winningly. "Words to think on, definitely. And it looks like it's time for our commercial break. When we come back, we'll find out about the Trabia restoration project and what it's like working with the president of Esthar."

\--

"I think that went really well," Selphie said cheerfully as she climbed into the SeeD Personal Carrier Vehicle and settled on a bench. Squall and Seifer followed her in, sitting opposite of her, and Xu shut the door as she joined them, sighing heavily as she dropped onto the seat beside Selphie. She looked at Squall tiredly as the vehicle started driving.

"What?" He asked defensively, crossing his arms. 

"You like making my job difficult, don't you?" Xu asked

Squall frowned. "I didn't say anything wrong."

"No, but you definitely opened the doors for criticism."

"You should have known that was going to happen the moment you decided to put him in front of a camera," Seifer defended him mildly, earning a dry glare from Xu. He shrugged and shook his head. "You know I'm right."

"I guess…" Xu admitted, sighing again. "At least the interview stuck to the script for the second half."

"That's because the pipsqueak cornered Zia to cheerfully describe what each of her Slot spells did during the break," Seifer said wryly.

"Tee hee!" Selphie gave an innocent smile and even Squall smirked with amusement.

"Well, it could have gone worse, so we'll call this a victory," Xu said, sitting back. She closed her eyes with a sigh, probably mentally reviewing the interview like a failed mission that needed a new strategy.

Selphie pulled out her PDA and began typing away, likely updating her blog with something about Squall. She had been writing about him more and more lately and Squall suspected it was so Laguna could keep up with his life in some way. Squall had a feeling he would have to talk to her about it soon if she didn't slow down.

He glanced over at Seifer and was surprised to see the blond lost in thought, unconsciously rubbing the Griever pendant in between his index finger and thumb. Squall took a long moment to study his rival, his pulse speeding up at the memory of Seifer's heart pounding against his palm, the way his hands held onto him, the intense sincerity in his eyes. 

How did he always know what Squall was thinking? How could he always read him so accurately? It left Squall feeling exposed and defenseless and strangely…safe, like he had felt in Seifer's bed. He didn't have to defend every look on his face or force his mood. He could just relax and Seifer would understand. He might taunt him or try to goad a reaction out of him, but Squall never had to explain himself or put on an act.

And as much as he was able to read Seifer in return, right now he couldn't figure out what was going on in his rival's head. He looked worried, maybe even scared. Because of Squall? Because he had brushed Seifer off in the changing room when he had… 

But there was no way Seifer had confessed to Squall. There was no way he _ liked _ Squall. He liked playing with him.

_ "I'm never playing with you." _

Squall swallowed hard, then tensed when Seifer glanced over at him. Seifer frowned in concern, speaking in a whisper.

"What?"

"Nothing," Squall whispered back, quickly looking away. He blushed brightly at the sight of Selphie and Xu both watching him discreetly then quickly going back to what they were doing as he caught them. Then he resolutely refused to look at anyone again and spent the rest of the drive glaring at his boots.

\--

Seifer trailed after Squall into their suite, his chest heavy with dread. They had said goodnight to Selphie and Xu in the parking garage and had walked back to their room in silence, which was fine by him. He wanted to have this long overdue conversation in private, knowing it could only end badly. 

The door slid shut behind him and he watched Squall's back as the brunet made his way to his bedroom. He had to do this now. He wouldn't be able to knock on Squall's door to call him out later. He wouldn't have the resolve. And after that interview, he couldn't wait any longer. This was going to end everything he had with Squall, but he couldn't keep lying to him. His heart thundering in his own ears, he clenched his jaw briefly before following him toward his room and speaking up.

"It wasn't always Ultimecia."

Squall froze in front of his open bedroom door and turned to look at Seifer warily. Seifer stopped two feet away from him and swallowed hard, then continued before Squall could say anything yet, his heart breaking at the look in those blue eyes.

"I wanted to win."

"Seifer-"

"You're wrong about me. I-"

"Seifer, stop," Squall said sharply. 

"It wasn't her. I _ wanted _ to torture you and when I had you up on that wall…" Seifer shook his head. "That was me." He braced himself as Squall stepped toward him.

"I said-"

"I enjoyed it, Squall." Seifer forced the sickening words out in a rush, knowing he was throwing everything good in his life away. "I wanted it. I wanted to hurt you. It felt…so good to hear you scream in agony and it had _ nothing _ to do with mind control-"

"I already know that!" Squall finally snapped roughly. Seifer moved back instinctively as Squall shifted closer. "You think I couldn't tell?"

Seifer furrowed his brows, pained. "Then why would you-"

"Because it doesn't matter," Squall said quietly, glaring at him.

"Are you fucking kidding? I pumped you full of electricity," Seifer said harshly.

"I remember," Squall scowled. 

Seifer clenched his fists at his side, digging his blunt nails into his palms. He wanted to touch him so badly, wanted to beg him for forgiveness, but he had no right. He never had any right to even be here. "How can you say it doesn't matter?"

"Why should it?" Squall shook his head a little, frustrated.

"I tortured you, Squall! Not Ultimecia, me!" Seifer said, raising his voice, an ache opening up inside his chest.

"What do you want me to say?" Squall demanded, feeling frustrated. "That it's okay?"

"Tell me you'll never forgive me!"

"I'll never forgive you," Squall answered honestly, his intense blue eyes locked on Seifer. Seifer flinched, then continued, his voice low and bitter.

“Tell me I’m a monster.”

“You’re a monster,” Squall murmured without breaking eye contact.

"Why did you bring me back here? So you could make me grovel?"

Squall huffed in disbelief. "Is that what I've been doing to you?"

Seifer rubbed his own face roughly, glancing away before looking at Squall again helplessly. "How can you say it doesn't matter when it's been killing me for the past eight months? I was given the chance to see who I really was and it was _ ugly, _ Squall. How can you-" Seifer swallowed down the lump in his throat. 

Squall bowed his head, finally looking down as he realized Seifer needed a real answer, that he couldn’t deny him that any longer. He stepped back into his room to sit on the edge of his bed and sighed heavily before finally looking up at Seifer again.

"After the war I…” Squall hesitated, then shook his head a little, embarrassed by this weakness but wanting Seifer to know. “I couldn't tell I was alive." 

Seifer furrowed his brows and entered his room, leaning against the wall by the door as if he wasn't sure he was allowed in the space anymore. Squall leaned his elbows on his knees and glared down at the floor as he continued, defenseless. "I moved through the day, I did what I was told, I smiled when people said I should, but I think I was actually dead. And no one seemed to notice except me. It all felt so surreal. The parties and celebrations, the daily bustle of running the Garden during peacetime, the way almost absolutely nothing changed from before the war to after it except people expected more from me. And now you were gone. Somehow, you being gone made me feel even less alive. There was nothing to look forward to. Rinoa asked a lot from me, but she couldn't understand me no matter what I tried to say and she got frustrated when I couldn't say anything. And sometimes I just _ couldn’t _ say anything…" Squall paused a moment, frowning. "And that's not how it's supposed to work, right? None of that is how it's supposed to work. You're supposed to win and feel more alive than ever. ...That's how it had always felt after fighting you." 

Squall looked up at him again. After a quiet moment, he sighed heavily. "Then the first time someone made an attempt on my life, it felt really good. You studied the files, right?"

Seifer nodded tensely, afraid to speak and interrupt Squall's lengthy talk.

"An agent tried to strangle me in my sleep while I was at a hotel in Dollet and I killed him before I thought about needing to question him. The victory was nothing special, but being that close to dying, it was like I could breathe a little again," Squall pushed one hand through his hair. "But the second time, the thrill didn't happen at all even though it was another close call."

"The bomb on the SeeD PCV," Seifer murmured and Squall nodded.

"Disarming it should have been a rush, but it was just something I needed to do. It wasn't easy, but it didn't scare me. I almost let the time run out just to see what would finally happen, but I didn't want to risk actually killing myself. I didn't _ want _to be dead, I just believed I already was. I really don't know if I was depressed or delusional or what," Squall glanced away as he remembered that lonely feeling. 

"At the Esthar dinner, I wasn't that lucky. The main detail they left out of the report was how hard I was laughing on the way to the hospital. Selphie says it was the single most horrifying sound she's heard in her life. But even as I was dying, I didn't feel alive, and it was just so funny. Why were they rushing a dead man to the hospital? …They told me that's why I started bleeding out so fast."

"Squall," Seifer exhaled in regret. 

"You really want to know why it doesn't matter that you tortured me? Why I asked you back?" Squall sat up again and looked at him helplessly. "Because I know you have it in you to hate me that much, and so when they asked me to find a bodyguard…you were right." Squall shook his head a little, pinching his brows together. "I missed you. I wanted to see if I could feel alive if you were the one at my throat again. But, even though you haven't come after me, even though all you do is make dinner and sit with me in meetings…" Squall glanced away, his voice soft. "You make me feel alive just by being near me. It feels good…"

He met Seifer's eyes again, insecure and serious. "Everything we went through, everything you did…I don't care,” he said honestly. “I just want to be with you."

Seifer held Squall's gaze for a long moment, stunned silent. Then he looked down, lacking the courage Squall had as he spoke, his voice low and tight and vulnerable. "I just want to be with you, too…"

Squall blushed and looked away as well. Silence hung between them, then he shoved himself to his feet and he headed toward his door, maybe running away, maybe giving Seifer the chance to run away, feeling raw and nervous. He cleared his throat and tried to sound normal as he spoke up again, as if none of this was that serious. As if he hadn't just told Seifer he practically lived for him. "Good. What should we do about dinner then?"

Before he could make it through the door, Seifer caught him around the waist and drew him into a tight hug, startling him. Squall tensed for only a second, then he wrapped his arms around Seifer's neck, pressing against him, and Seifer held him tighter, burying his face into his shoulder. Warmth spread through Squall and he sighed in relief.

Seifer nuzzled into him, wanting to say so many things, but none of them were right. None except a phrase he couldn't say yet. Not yet. Instead, he fell back on a wisecrack that was as close to the truth as he could get, his voice muffled and soft. "If you want me at your throat, all you have to do is come for mine…"

Squall exhaled a huff, not quite a laugh, too fragile for that, and relaxed a little more when Seifer smoothed a hand up his back. They stood there holding each other silently for a long time, neither of them wanting to pull away. 

When they finally did separate, Seifer searched Squall's eyes silently. Squall kept his gaze on him, blushing but not backing down. Before Seifer could stupidly cross any lines and ruin everything again, he gave Squall one more lingering look before heading out of the bedroom, calling over his shoulder to break the tension.

"Something fresh or leftovers?"

Squall lifted his eyebrows, surprised at himself for forgetting the spaghetti. He followed Seifer into their kitchen, bewildered by how happy it made him feel. "Leftovers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really hard to write and, honestly, I don't like it that much. But it got some things out of the way, so next chapter should be more fun. 
> 
> Constructive criticism is always welcome! Thank you for reading, kudosing, and commenting!! Seriously, those emails warm my heart~ ❤


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! I hope you are all healthy and safe ❤ ❤
> 
> Update 8/3/2020: Sooooo I really hated the final scene for this chapter and I think it was preventing me from moving forward. It didn't feel like it fit the energy and emotion of the rest of the story. So I've updated it! I'm sorry for changing it. I personally think it's an improvement and fits the Seifer and Squall of this fic better. I hope you still like it. I'll give a warning next chapter too. Thank you for reading ❤ ❤

Rinoa sat in the cafeteria with her elbow on a table and her chin in her palm, trying her best not to look irritated as Selphie prattled on. She was happy for her friend, really, but every time Selphie sighed happily after saying Laguna's name, it made her own relationship problems poke her sharply in the heart.

Not that she had _ problems _ , per se, and that was exactly the problem! Nida was so neutral and complacent, it was driving her nuts. He never fought with her, which was a nice thing usually, but he also never made decisions or took risks or seemed to _ think _ about anything very hard. He agreed with Rinoa on practically everything, even political views, but not because he held the same opinions, just because he wanted to do things Rinoa wanted. It was honestly making her sick. At least Squall had a spine.

"And Laguna, I mean, President Loire, I don't know why I can't get used to calling him that, tee hee, he told me he'll let me test one of Esthar's new Lunar Tanks, can you believe that?" Selphie asked, bouncing in her seat a little as she took a bite of her hamburger. Rinoa looked at her like she was crazy. She would _ never _ understand this girl's love of heavy machinery. 

Before she could figure out how to reply, familiar dark movement caught her eye and she glanced over to see Squall, think of the devil, entering the cafeteria with Seifer. Her ex-boyfriend, looking stupidly gorgeous as ever, gave her first ex-boyfriend a long suffering look, saying something in irritation. Seifer shrugged dramatically in his traditional "I don't give a fuck" way. But instead of scowling like he should have, Squall smirked at Seifer softly. Whatever he said made Seifer laugh as he stepped into the food line, pushing Squall ahead of him by the small of his back? Rinoa frowned a little. The duo got in line, picking up the snacks that were up for grabs, and then Squall moved a step closer to Seifer, invading his personal space to get his attention by touching Seifer's chest with the back of his hand?? And then whatever Seifer said in reply made Squall _ laugh??? _

"Hey, are you listen-"

"What is _ that?!" _ Rinoa whispered harshly, shoving to her feet and bracing her palms on the table. Selphie pulled back in surprise, then looked across the cafeteria at Squall and Seifer.

"What's what?"

_ "That," _ Rinoa demanded, still keeping her voice low as she and Selphie watched Seifer whisper something in Squall's ear as they moved to the front of the line. Squall _ blushed _ and glanced back at Seifer, looking down at his neck briefly, then Rinoa's mouth dropped open as she noticed Squall's chain hanging off Seifer like it belonged there.

Rinoa dropped back into her seat in shock as they checked out and found a seat in the cafeteria. Then she looked at Selphie, heartbroken.

"What was that?"

"I don't know what you mean…" Selphie said evasively, wincing at how lame it sounded. Rinoa furrowed her brows at her.

"He never looked at me like that."

"I think Squall and Seifer go way back…" Selphie tried.

"Like _ that?" _ Rinoa asked with frustration. Selphie sighed a little.

"Stop saying _ that _ like that."

"Selphie, they were practically making out in the lunch line!" Rinoa said hotly, replacing her shock with anger. 

Selphie rolled her eyes. "If that's making out, they've been having sex on the battlefield since long before I came to this school."

"Selphie!" Rinoa snapped and Selphie giggled a little. When Rinoa pouted at her, Selphie patted her arm soothingly.

"There, there. You guys weren't a good fit, remember? You told me he was a maladjusted asshole who wasn't even good in bed," Selphie reminded her, hoping to cut off what she had a feeling was coming.

"Yeah, but…" Rinoa looked over at Squall again. They had fought a ton and he wasn't soft and understanding like she hoped he would be after he opened up a little, and there was definitely no sizzle in the bedroom, but that could always be worked on together, right? Squall _ was _ fair and patient and actually _ thought _ about things. And he was loyal. Rinoa knew that now. How she ever thought he was sleeping with Quistis, she didn't know. Maybe she was just searching for an excuse to meet someone new, but looking back at what she lost…

"Maybe I'm still in love with him…" Rinoa murmured, watching Squall take his seat next to Seifer.

"Rinoa, no, come on, you guys were awful together!" Selphie groaned. 

"I'm going to go talk to him!" Rinoa announced, standing up and hurrying off without looking back at the sound of Selphie dropping her forehead on the table.

\--

"I'm not letting you taste test my food this time. It was bad enough at the cocktail party," Squall said dryly as he entered the cafeteria, Seifer trailing a step behind him. 

"I don't give a fuck. You're not eating it unless I'm sure it's not poisoned." Seifer shrugged carelessly. Squall smirked back at him, shaking his head a little.

"You know taste testing doesn't actually help, right? Your reaction would be too slow to matter and we would just both die. I'm pretty sure you just want to eat my food."

Seifer laughed and pushed Squall ahead, caressing his hand against the small of his back. Squall walked forward without brushing him away, feeling warmth spread from the touch. He passed a tray to Seifer before taking his own.

They grabbed a couple puddings and ordered some meatloaf and steamed veggies. Squall hung back a step and knocked his hand against Seifer's chest to get his attention as they waited to be served. "I bet we could get you a job as a fry cook here if you're really worried about the safety of the food," he said in a flat monotone, as if it were a genuine idea he just had. Ever since their heart to heart and their embrace at the start of the week, they had been much more intimate, letting their touches linger longer than they ever needed to.

Seifer still felt hesitant to take too many liberties with him, though. Even if Squall knew the truth about the torture and accepted it, Seifer knew he didn't deserve a damned thing he was getting right now. He probably never would. 

But…then his selfish side didn't care what he deserved. He couldn't stop wanting what he wanted and if Squall wanted it too…he certainly couldn't deny the man anything. It was just a matter of giving him what he wanted slowly enough not to scare him with it.

"If I ever have to serve hot dogs to Zell, I'll poison the food myself," Seifer said, unamused.

Squall huffed a laugh. As he moved forward again, Seifer leaned in behind him to whisper in his ear. "But don't you want to keep me all to yourself anyway?"

Okay, maybe not that slowly. Squall wasn't a coward, after all. And Hyne, hearing Squall say he felt alive because of Seifer was doing terrible things to him. 

Squall looked back at him, feeling heat rise in his face. He glanced down at his necklace against Seifer's chest, then met his eyes again. Instead of replying, he snorted softly and turned his attention to accepting his meal from the cafeteria lady. 

Neither of them had acknowledged keeping the other's necklace. This time, Squall decided to see if Seifer would leave his on the table first, and when he woke up the day after the interview and still didn't see Griever anywhere, he hooked Seifer's choker around his neck again as if it were natural. It was incredibly bold, but then Seifer came out to make breakfast still wearing his chain, accepting his coffee from Squall with a subtle wink, and they just continued wearing them every day after that. 

It was a dangerous unspoken exchange, one that could leave Squall in deeper pain than he ever felt in his life, but instead of feeling afraid of that intimacy and potential heartbreak, he felt the heady thrill Seifer kept giving him and wanted to rush into it. He just had to find out if Seifer actually returned that feeling or if his rival's investment was only out of obligation and regret… 

They paid for their food and made their way to an empty table, sitting down next to one another. Squall deflected Seifer's fork from stealing a bite of his green beans, then they both glanced up when someone approached from across the cafeteria.

"Hi, Squall!" Rinoa chimed cheerfully, her arms clasped behind her back. Too cheerfully. Squall furrowed his brows a little, wondering what this was about now. Rinoa smiled wider. "Thanks for what you said about me in your interview last Tuesday."

"Sure…" Squall said carefully. Xu had scripted most of his responses and Squall had agreed with the need to protect Rinoa's reputation. The same thing had been done after Irvine cheated on Selphie. It's not like war heroes could fight amongst themselves publicly when civilians still had nightmares about the world ending.

Ignoring Rinoa, Seifer casually reached over and took a bite of Squall's meatloaf, causing Squall to glance at him in annoyance.

"Hey, so you're going to Deling next week, right?" Rinoa asked, clearly not going away.

"Yeah," Squall said, distractedly frowning at Seifer again as the blond opened his bottled tea and took a sip. "That was sealed."

"Can't be too careful," Seifer smirked at him and Squall rolled his eyes.

"I want to come with you!" Rinoa blurted suddenly, drawing both of their attention sharply.

"What?" Squall asked in surprise at the same time Seifer snapped, "No."

"I wasn't talking to you, Seifer," Rinoa scowled. 

"Like I give a fuck. The answer is still no," Seifer said as if that was final.

"You don't get to decide that. You're not the commander, you're not even SeeD-"

"Yes, he is," Squall interrupted calmly, startling her. Her surprise quickly shifted into indignation.

"Since when?!"

"He was promoted last week," Squall said. Seifer glanced at him, hearing the commander in his voice. He was starting to like that sound.

"How come he gets to be SeeD but not me?" Rinoa stomped her foot a little, clenching her fists at her sides. Squall lifted an unamused eyebrow at her.

"We've already discussed this. You can't be SeeD."

"But why? I fought right beside you in the war! You know I can fight! I should be able to take the test right now!" 

"It has nothing to do with your skill." Squall sighed heavily, setting his fork down as he sat back and folded his arms over his chest. He glared up at her critically. "Do you really think it would be a good idea for the sorceress to be a SeeD? The whole reason I'm being called to Deling next week is because people already think you control Garden."

"If only they knew I was barely welcome here," Rinoa said, sounding genuinely hurt.

"Are you kidding me? Do you know how many strings I had to pull just so you could live here?" Squall asked, getting irritated. 

"Don't act like it was such a burden! You're the commander, you can do anything you want!" Rinoa said, upset.

"That's not true and you know it," Squall said in frustration, tired of this old fight already. "I have a board of directors I have to answer to."

"And _ they _ want me to be SeeD. _ You _ keep overruling them!" Rinoa glared at him. 

"Because it's a _ conflict of interests _-"

"Like _ he's _ not a conflict of interest," Rinoa snapped, pointing at Seifer. "That woman on WMD said what we're all thinking, you know. He's going to betray you, Squall, and now you've made him SeeD? Don't you think you're letting personal feelings cloud your judgement?"

Squall narrowed his eyes. "If you want to have a formal meeting as the sorceress with the commander of Garden about your concerns, put in a request with Xu or Quistis. But if you're just complaining because you're not getting your way, stop bothering me." 

Rinoa pressed her lips together and glanced away, taking a moment before speaking up again.

"Fine, forget about Seifer-"

"I'm right here," Seifer said dryly.

"-I still want to go with you to Deling," Rinoa finished like she couldn't hear Seifer at all. She met Squall's eyes again and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't come over here to fight. I just want to be useful and if I can go to Deling to show people I'm not a threat, maybe…"

She trailed off and Squall tilted his head a little, glancing off for a moment as he considered it. "I'm not sure it would help. The riots might get worse if you show up. Especially with a military unit."

"With a military unit _ escorting _ me, to keep the people safe from me in case I go mad," Rinoa said, spinning it. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life with people terrified of me, Squall. If you're doing an interview tour to boost your image, can't I do the same?"

Squall sighed, eyeing Rinoa critically. After a long moment, she lifted her chin stubbornly.

"Since I'm not SeeD, I can really do what I want without your permission, you know."

Squall rolled his eyes, knowing that she liked to play that final card when she wasn't getting what she wanted. "Fine. I'll run the details past Xu. But-" Squall said sharply, interrupting Rinoa's little bounce of happiness, "you're to follow my orders while we're traveling and if you disobey them, I'm sending you home-" Rinoa saluted happily, then winced when Squall finished his sentence, "-to your father."

"Squall, you can't-"

"Then home to your friends in Timber. The last time we were in Deling, you nearly compromised the entire mission. You won't be staying at Garden if you do that again."

"Only Seifer gets a free pass around here, huh?" Rinoa asked bitterly. 

Squall kept his mouth closed, staring Rinoa in obvious anger. 

"What!" She blurted. "Tell me I'm wrong!"

"If Seifer goes off orders, I trust him to know how to handle the situation. He isn't an untrained brat twisting my arm saying he'll do what he wants if I don't give in. And he's aware I'll kill him if I have to, unlike you seem to be," Squall finally snapped, causing Rinoa to pull back. "Do you even realize that you're trying to manipulate a mercenary commander or do you only remember I have that title when you want to abuse my power?"

Rinoa's mouth dropped open, then she glared at him angrily, blinking fast as if to hold back tears. "Screw you, Squall, you're so mean!" she said before running off. 

"Hyne, you did not pull those punches," Seifer muttered, half impressed, half wincing as he watched Selphie get up and run after Rinoa out of the cafeteria.

Squall scowled and stood up, grabbing his tray. Seifer jumped up after him, then gripped his arm before he could toss out his food. "Whoa, whoa, calm down."

"She does this all the fucking time," Squall snapped as Seifer took his tray away to set it back on the table. He shoved his hand into his hair in frustration as he glared at his rival. "She acts like she's trying to be helpful and serious, then she tries to make me feel bad because she doesn't get exactly what she wants, or she tries to force me by saying she'll do things her way anyway, so I have to cooperate to keep things under control. And it's bullshit she keeps telling me not to let my feelings decide things when during the war, she kept telling me to stop being so damn cold. Apparently she only wants me to feel things that match what she wants." Squall furrowed his brows at the smirk forming on Seifer's lips. "What?"

"You do realize she's jealous, right?" Seifer asked with mild amusement.

"Jealous of what?" Squall asked, incredulous. He blinked in surprise when Seifer reached forward to hook his finger under his choker, stroking Squall's skin and tugging the metal plate gently.

"This."

Squall swallowed hard, lifting his chin a little, hesitant. His heart pulsed heavily in his throat. "...But she's with Nida. And she's the one who broke up with me."

"She made a mistake. Looks like you could get her back if you wanted," Seifer shrugged, dropping his hand. Squall scowled at him.

"No."

"Probably gonna be a pain in the ass having her in Deling then," Seifer said, moving to sit down in front of his food again. Squall hesitated, then joined him.

"If I didn't let her join, she'd go on her own," Squall said a little defensively. "She'd be a bigger problem unsupervised."

"Oh, I know you didn't have a choice. But if she thinks she's getting anywhere with you, she’ll have a rude awakening," Seifer said easily. He leaned over to whisper in Squall's ear. "Because I intend on keeping you all to myself, too."

Squall's eyes widened and he looked at Seifer in surprise, then jolted a little when Selphie plopped down at their table across from them, looking tired.

"Squall," Selphie sighed in exasperation. Squall tried to swallow down his racing heart, but Seifer's deep chuckle did not help. Selphie dropped her elbow on the table and propped her head in her palm. "Do you have to call her a brat?"

Squall blinked, then frowned at Selphie as she looked at him flatly. "She was being a brat."

"She was being a bitch and Squall was being nicer than he had to be," Seifer said casually, digging into his food. Squall glanced at him out of the corner of his eye before finally doing the same. 

Selphie glanced between them, then reached across the table to steal Squall's pudding. Squall lifted an eyebrow at her, but then passed over his spoon, earning a bright smile.

"How come she gets to eat your food?" Seifer asked, pretending to be hurt.

"Because I'm afraid of her," Squall said calmly. Selphie giggled and opened her pudding, taking a big scoop.

\--

Squall was already having trouble concentrating on the files from Deling as he sat at the kitchen table a few days before their departure when Seifer came out of his bedroom in nothing but a dark blue pair of boxer briefs and Squall's necklace, a bath towel slung over his shoulder. It wasn't unusual for either of them to pass through to the bathroom in just their underwear, but when Seifer made a detour to get some water out of the fridge first, Squall found himself incapable of not staring, holding completely still with his elbow on the table, cheek propped against his fist, like an animal frozen in surprise. Seifer poured himself a glass and Squall's gaze drifted down a little, taking in the slope of his shoulders and the dip of his back. Heat pooled between his hips, then he snapped his gaze back up to Seifer's face as his rival turned to glance at him while tipping his head back and taking a few large gulps of his water, his adam's apple sliding in his throat. Squall's face flushed just as warmly as his dick when Seifer lowered the glass and lifted an eyebrow at him. 

"What are you doing?" Seifer asked.

"W-what?" Squall replied tightly. He cleared his throat and Seifer chuckled, walking toward him. Squall's eyes widened a little, then he focused on the glass that was held out to him.

"Thirsty?"

Squall swallowed hard but accepted the glass, looking up at Seifer as he took a sip, trying his damnedest not to look at his boxers just a few inches from his face. Seifer looked down at the files, then shifted closer to flip a page and Squall glanced at his cock without meaning to, only to choked on his water at the sight of his stiff bulge. He coughed hard, thankfully not spitting any anywhere, and glared up at Seifer as his rival laughed.

"You okay?"

"Fine," Squall muttered when he recovered his breath, thrusting the glass back at Seifer. Seifer took it back and winked at Squall over the rim as he took the last gulp.

"You need me for anything before I hop in the shower?" Seifer asked, walking away again to drop his glass in the sink, giving Squall another good view of his ass. Squall glared down at his files again.

"No."

"You sure? I might be a while," Seifer said with a smirk over his shoulder. Squall scowled at him and Seifer laughed again, a deep, genuine sound that caused a shiver to run up Squall's spine.

Hyne, what was he? A fucking school girl?

"Glare at me all you want, commander, but a man has to take care of himself," Seifer said with amusement as he walked toward the bathroom. He brushed his fingertips along the nape of Squall's neck as he passed behind him. "Need me to show you how?"

"I don't need your help with that," Squall swatted at him and Seifer laughed again. Squall forced himself not to watch the blond walk into the bathroom. When the door closed, he exhaled heavily and dropped his forehead onto his files. He couldn't tell if Seifer was fucking with him or flirting with him, and suddenly he wasn't so sure he wanted it to be the latter. He was pretty sure he'd choke on his own tongue if he ever faced Seifer as-

As what? A lover? A fuck buddy?

Squall sat up a little to rub his forehead, pausing when he felt his scar. He opened his eyes to stare at nothing as he recalled their talk, their hug.

God, Seifer had felt good. Solid and warm and soothing. And over the past week, Squall was enjoying his time more and more. Why did his rival calm him down as much as he riled him up? 

Squall flicked his eyes toward the bathroom door as he heard the water start, his dick twitching a little. At least there was little question left about his sexuality nowadays. 

Well, that wasn't entirely true... He was pretty positive he wasn't straight, but he still couldn't say he was really gay, either. It wasn't that he didn't get turned on. Despite Seifer's jokes, Squall jerked off often enough. It was enjoyable, felt good. 

But nothing and no one sent electricity through his blood like Seifer did.

Squall winced at the tactless metaphor, annoyed with himself. And with Seifer for toying with him. His rival might not be playing with him in the big picture view, but Seifer definitely enjoyed getting a reaction, any reaction from Squall, and always had.

The question was, was Squall going to just ignore him or meet the challenge?

Once in the bathroom, Seifer fell back against the shut door and closed his eyes, tipping his head back, one very clear thought running through his head.

There was no way in hell Squall was straight. 

He smiled crookedly and huffed a laugh of relief, then chuckled at his own antics.

He _ had _ planned on taking things slow with his stoic Leonhart, really, but there was no way he could risk Rinoa stealing him back, and it was obvious that was going to be her goal, considering the way she demanded to join their upcoming mission.

Well _ fuck _ that. Seifer opened his eyes and glared at his reflection in the mirror. Squall was his, and now that he was getting signals that he could have the brunet as something more than a platonic partner, there was no way in hell he was going to let anyone else sweep him away again. 

They had practically confessed, after all. They were already living together. They ate together, trained together, watched TV together. Had already spent the night together once. Kind of. 

They were almost there. All Seifer had to do was beckon, and Squall would come.

Seifer pushed away from the door and hung up his towel, stripping out of his boxer briefs before he started the shower. He stepped under the warm spray and took a moment to enjoy it, letting his thoughts replay Squall's gorgeous blush. 

\--

"Why can't we just take Garden to Deling?" Rinoa asked as she boarded the train, dragging her rolling suitcase along behind her. She seemed to have gotten over her fight with Squall the week before and was determined to act like it never happened. That would have been fine with Squall if it wasn't for the fact that she had also started acting a little too comfortable with him again.

"Do you think about your questions or do you just blurt them out to hear yourself talk?" Seifer asked before Squall could reply. Selphie glared back at him.

"Seifer, be nice!"

"_ That _ was a legitimate question!" Seifer said defensively, clicking his tongue. He pushed Squall ahead of him by his shoulder so he could be the last one on.

"It would look bad to show up with our entire mercenary force entering enemy territory and it would put our school at risk for an attack," Squall answered Rinoa, glad she seemed to be ignoring Seifer's barbs as impressively as she was ignoring Seifer's general existence. She smiled back at him in thanks and then gestured to her bag, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Can you put this on the rack for me?"

Squall eyed her for a moment, trying to figure out if she was flirting or legitimately needed help. He silently closed the handle and hauled the suitcase up onto an overhead rack, then frowned at Rinoa as she touched his bicep, squeezing it a little.

"Have you been working out more?"

"Oh brother," Seifer muttered, rolling his eyes as he threw his duffle bag on the rack and dropped onto a seat in the private train car Balamb Garden had reserved for them. 

Squall pulled his arm away from Rinoa gently. "Sit down."

Hesitation flickered in Rinoa's eyes, but then she sat far away from Seifer and patted the seat next to her. "Sit with me! We haven't talked in forever and this would be a great time to catch up."

Squall glanced between her and Seifer. He had half a mind to walk away altogether and join Selphie at the window, but then Seifer rolled his eyes and subtly tilted his head to tell Squall to indulge Rinoa. Squall frowned, but then went to join her, leaving a good amount of space between them. Instantly, Rinoa scooted closer as the train pulled away from the station.

"How have you been?"

"Fine." Squall answered, not at all interested in having a conversation.

"What's new in your life?" Rinoa asked, keeping her voice quiet for semi-privacy.

Squall frowned at her and shrugged a little like that was a stupid question. Rinoa glanced away, then looked up at him again, offering a small smile.

"Come on, talking to me can't be that awful, right? I thought we were okay after our breakup."

"The breakup isn't the problem," Squall muttered.

"Is it because of last week? Listen, I'm sorry, you were right, I was being selfish and demanding. I didn't mean to be," Rinoa said, shaking her head a little. "I just feel so helpless sometimes. I never asked to be a sorceress, you know."

"I know that," Squall said, exhaling a little sigh. He softened a bit and sat back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest and giving her more of his attention. "How are you?"

Rinoa smiled warmly, blushing a little. She braced her hands on the seat bench. "I'm good. Well… I'm alright. Nida and I broke up this weekend."

Squall frowned a little and met her eyes. "...Are you okay?"

Rinoa laughed lightly in a way that Squall knew meant she was feeling insecure. "Yeah, I guess so. I'm the one who broke it off."

"..."

"It just didn't feel right, and I started thinking about us…"

"..."

"Maybe it was your interview that made me realize how much we really went through together. It was crazy, wasn't it?" Rinoa smiled at Squall a little helplessly. 

"What's your point?" Squall asked. Rinoa sighed, pulling her legs up on the bench to hug her knees.

"I don't have a point, I'm just talking…"

"..."

"Am I bothering you?"

"A little bit, yeah," Squall answered, glaring at her softly.

"Why are you so mean to me nowadays?" Rinoa asked, frustrated. "I'm not even doing anything."

Squall sighed again. "I'm not being mean. You asked me a question and I answered. I don't understand the point of this conversation."

"You're acting just like you used to before we fell in love," Rinoa said sadly.

"I'm not sure-" Squall cut himself off and shook his head. "Whatever."

"What are you about to say?"

"Nothing. It's not important."

Rinoa gave him a long look, her expression a little helpless. She rested her chin in her knees, frowning at the floor. 

"We had some good times after the war, didn't we?" She asked softly.

Squall closed his eyes.

"Do you miss me at all?" She asked.

"Rinoa…" Squall said tiredly. "Breaking up was your choice."

"What if I just got scared?" Rinoa asked. Squall glanced over and gave her a dry look.

"Of what?"

"I don't know! You're always so calm and straightforward, it's scary!" Rinoa whispered defensively. 

"What's wrong with that?" Squall asked, frowning.

"Nothing. Looking back, it's not scary at all. But sometimes it felt like I was always feeling things all alone…"

"That's not why we broke up."

"That was a big part of it," Rinoa argued. "You never wanted to talk to me about things."

Squall shook his head, growing frustrated over old problems all over again. "Whatever."

"See? Just like this!" Rinoa lowered her legs and leaned in to glare at him. "Why is it so hard for you to just say what's on your mind."

"You just got mad at me for saying what was on my mind," Squall said in irritation.

"Telling me I'm bothering you is not the same thing at all," Rinoa said bitterly. When Squall didn't reply, she sighed heavily, rubbing her forehead. "Why do we always fight like this?"

"Because you want me to be someone I'm not."

"No, I just want you to be open."

"That's not me_ . _" Squall stood up and Rinoa shot to her feet, grabbing his arm.

"Okay, I'm sorry!" Rinoa said quickly. "Please, Squall, I just-... Let's just try to be friends again, can't we start there?"

"Start what?" Squall asked with annoyance.

"Nothing, I just mean start over. Let's start over. As friends." Rinoa let go of him and straightened up. "I miss you. And I want to be your friend again. Without the war and the crazy threats and all the demands to save the world. Without the fights in our relationship. Let's just…" She held out her hand to him to shake. A peace offering. "Start fresh."

"We're going into a hostile situation that may escalate in conflict if things get out of hand…I'm a SeeD. There will always be threats," Squall said dryly. Rinoa winced and lowered her hand.

"Okay, we can keep the crazy threats part, but it'd be really nice to know I have my friend at my side in that case." Rinoa offered him a sad smile. 

Squall sighed heavily and Rinoa held up a hand to stop him before he could reply.

"Just think about it. You don't have to answer me now or commit to anything. I'm just going to be myself and all I'm asking is that you try to think about being my friend. Can you do that much for me?"

"...Sure…" Squall relented, starting to feel bad. Rinoa smiled at him genuinely, then nodded once as she stepped back, clasping her hands behind her back.

"Thanks," she said before turning away to go find Selphie standing near the window, giving Squall space.

Squall glanced over to see Seifer watching him, his elbow propped on the back of his seat and his cheek resting against his fist. Squall flushed under his gaze and made his way over to him. Seifer straightened as Squall sat beside him, then casually stretched his arm along the back of the seat, behind Squall's neck. If it were anyone else, it would be a meaningless gesture, just someone getting comfortable, but with Seifer, it was clearly possessive and Squall felt his pulse pick up.

"What did she say?" Seifer asked quietly, glancing away from Squall to catch Rinoa peeking back at them. 

"She wants us to try being friends again." 

"Uh huh," Seifer said dryly, looking at Squall again. "You really believe that's all she wants?"

"Maybe," Squall said. Seifer lifted an eyebrow at him and he sighed. "No, but I don't want to be an asshole to her."

"What about her boyfriend?"

"They broke up over the weekend," Squall said tiredly. 

"Big fucking surprise," Seifer said with mild annoyance. He slouched a little in his seat, letting his knees fall open so that his thigh rested against Squall's. Squall crossed his arms over his chest and spread his legs a bit to press against Seifer, his heart racing. Hyne, he wanted to be reading Seifer's possessiveness correctly. Briefly he remembered his rival's reaction to Jaspe and realized maybe that fight had less to do with respecting Seifer's space and more to do with jealousy, after all.

Squall met Seifer's gaze out of the corner of his eye and blushed at the sight of his glare on him. Without breaking eye contact, he shifted a little more and rested his head back, then closed his eyes as he settled against Seifer's bicep like it was a pillow. He felt Seifer relax beside him and he had to resist touching him more intimately. 

Seifer let his hand slip from the back of the seat and settle on Squall's shoulder. He couldn't help the soft amused exhale that escaped him when Squall jolted in surprise, his brows flicking together as he glanced at Seifer, trying to read him. Instead of pulling away, Seifer closed his eyes like nothing was unusual and Squall finally rested back against him again. Quiet settled in the train until all Seifer could hear were the tracks humming beneath them and Squall's steady breath matching his own.

\--

"Why aren't we sharing a room like usual?" Rinoa asked, disappointment clear in her voice. Squall gave her a flat look as he passed over a key card for the suite she would share with Selphie. Selphie hummed in victory as she snatched the other one from Squall's fingers.

"Because we need two rooms anyway and I don't want anyone bunking alone." Squall passed a key card to Seifer, noticing he was scanning the area carefully. Both of them looked up at the stairs before actually hearing the movement they sensed. Seifer casually settled his hand on his gunblade hilt, then snorted in disdain when Quistis, Irvine, and Zell appeared.

"Squall, you all made it," Quistis said with a smile as she approached them in the lobby. Squall nodded once in greeting.

"It _ was _ a close call," Seifer said sarcastically. "One trip with this train freak's singing is enough to drive a lesser man mad."

"Hey!" Selphie pouted. She stuck her tongue out at Seifer when he smirked at her.

"Hey, indeed, Selphie," Irvine said sweetly, tipping his hat at her. "Doing alright?"

"I'm fine, hi Irvine," Selphie said coolly, turning away from him.

"Aww, come on, don't be like that. I thought we could-" Irvine pulled back a little as Squall pointedly stepped in front of Selphie and glared at him.

"Let's move to a room to go over the status report," Squall said with a stern tone. Irvine shifted his jaw in irritation, then everyone looked over as a hotel clerk approached.

"U-um, Sorceress Rinoa? We've actually upgraded your room to a presidential suite," the young woman said, passing Rinoa a set of gold door cards nervously.

Rinoa smiled kindly and accepted the cards. "Oh, thank you! You didn't have to do that."

The clerk shifted from foot to foot as if she was stressing to both stay and go without Rinoa's permission.

"Woo! Presidential suite!" Selphie cheered, diffusing the tension for the clerk who slipped away quickly. "Let's all go up there!"

She grabbed Squall's arm and pulled him past Irvine toward the elevators. They all filed in and Squall noted that Seifer slipped into the space beside him, his body language surprisingly protective considering they were surrounded by their comrades. Seifer glanced over at him and Squall lifted a questioning eyebrow. Seifer shrugged in response, then snapped his attention over to Zell and curled his lip in disgust as the tattooed blond bumped into him. 

"Watch your step, chickenwuss."

"Stop calling me that, Seifer!" Zell said, clenching his fists in agitation. He bounced on the balls of his feet. "I've kicked your ass before, I'll do it again!"

"Yeah? You wanna go one on one?" Seifer snapped. "Let's see how far you get past my gunblade with those fists when your friends aren't distracting me."

"Cool it," Squall murmured, folding his arms as he leaned back against the elevator wall, watching the floors light up one by one as they went up. 

"Take him on, Zell," Irvine goaded. "He's full of bullshit."

"Knock it off, Irvine," Selphie said hotly. "Leave Seifer alone."

"Why should I? He's certainly never left us alone. I think that hostess on WMD had a good point. Maybe Ultimecia still has her claws in him." Irvine tipped his hat back, glaring up at Seifer.

"Kinneas," Squall said coldly, sliding his glare over to his brunet comrade. Irvine scowled and shrugged in annoyance. He turned toward the front of the elevator as it dinged.

They detoured to the other rooms to drop their bags off, then rode up to the top and exited onto a private floor with a single set of doors. Selphie skipped ahead, the argument in the elevator instantly forgotten as she pulled Rinoa along with her to the door. Rinoa laughed and slid the card through the reader, opening the room to everyone. A living room, beautifully decorated with lush burgundy couches, dark wood coffee tables, and a large screen television, welcomed them.

"Let's watch a movie!" Selphie said excitedly, hurrying over to the television. She grabbed a remote and flicked it on. "Ooh they have broadcast!"

"Excellent!" Zell said, dropping onto a couch. Rinoa waved him to scoot over and joined him. He bounced a little on the seat. "Let's order room service."

"We need to get a status report…" Squall said futilely, placing a hand on his hip. He glanced back as Seifer closed the door behind them then went to scope out the bedroom and bathroom.

"We don't really have an update from our last email," Quistis said, drawing Squall's attention to her. "We could probably use a night off. You've been traveling all day and we've been doing reconnaissance since we got here. Caraway won't be able to meet until tomorrow morning, so we have nowhere else to be tonight." She stepped a little closer and lowered her voice. "And a movie would probably keep them from each other's throats."

Squall frowned at her, annoyed that that was even a concern. He glanced over at the group to see Selphie, Zell, Irvine, and Rinoa all huddled together over a room service menu and he sighed.

"Fine. I'll be in my-"

"Squall!" Selphie scolded suddenly, glaring up at him. "You have to stay!"

"What? Why?" Squall folded his arms, cocking his head in annoyance. 

"Because, this is a group activity and you're the leader of the group."

"I don't want to watch a movie…"

"Too bad," Selphie said good-naturedly. "Do you want pizza?"

"Ask Seifer if I'm allowed to have any," Squall muttered, though not low enough to keep his comment to himself.

"You're not allowed to have pizza?" Irvine asked, tipping his hat back skeptically.

Selphie spoke over him, calling out to Seifer as he left the bedroom to check the balcony. "Seifer, can Squall have pizza?"

"Sure, but I'm going to watch them make it. Don't call ahead. Write down your order and I'll take it myself to catch them off guard," Seifer said, stepping outside and looking up toward the roof. He checked over the railing and scanned nearby windows and buildings.

"What the hell are you doing?" Zell asked, scrunching his face in bewilderment as Seifer came back in and started checking the window locks.

"My job, fuck off," Seifer said easily, too focused to give him more attention than that.

Quistis watched him, intrigued. "I never expected him to actually take this seriously."

Squall didn't reply, keeping his eyes on Seifer. When his bodyguard was satisfied, he walked up to Squall and smirked. "Think you can handle things for thirty minutes while I go get the pipsqueak's pizzas from the kitchen?" he asked as Selphie wrote her order on a piece of hotel stationery, adding toppings as Rinoa and Zell made last minute demands.

"I'll go wi-"

"Squall! Come join me on the balcony!" Selphie shouted as she bounced up to Seifer and held the paper up in front of his face. He glared at her and plucked it from her fingers, earning a cheeky grin. Selphie redirected her attention to Squall and grabbed his arm, dragging him to the balcony.

Seifer hesitated, meeting Squall's eyes as he glanced back at him, and spoke to Selphie. "I'm trusting you, pipsqueak…"

Selphie paused at the door and looked back, giving Seifer a warm smile that made Squall frown in confusion. When Seifer begrudgingly sighed and ignored Squall's questioning look, turning away to head out, Selphie yanked Squall out the balcony door and slammed it on everyone's questioning looks.

In the hotel room, Rinoa watched the events on both sides of the room like a tennis match. She debated for a moment, then jumped up to run after Seifer, calling back to the others that she was going to help him get the pizzas.

With just the three of them left behind, Zell, Quistis, and Irvine exchanged bewildered looks until Irvine picked up the television remote, muttering something about fucking soap operas.

The night air was warm on the balcony and a gentle breeze teased Selphie's flipped locks as she faced Squall with her hands on her hips. "Jeez, it has been impossible to get you alone the past couple weeks!"

"I didn't know you were trying," Squall said, folding his arms over his chest and giving her a gentle frown.

"Well, I wasn't really trying hard. I was just looking for an opportunity," Selphie admitted, calming down. She moved to the balcony railing and folded her arms on the bar, looking down over the colorful glow of Deling. "It's been a long time since we were here, huh?"

Squall joined her and looked down over the city, watching cars and people move through the streets, meeting and parting ways, full of energy and life. So far it was a quiet night, though Squall imagined it wouldn't stay that way since the front desk clerk recognized their special guest. The city police had been informed of Rinoa's arrival, just in case the riots got worse, and it seemed stupid that he and the rest of his team were going to order pizza and watch a movie like normal teenagers who weren't capable of starting a war. Or ending one.

"Soooooooo…" Selphie started and smiled at Squall from the corner of her eye. Squall glanced at her warily.

"So, what?"

Selphie propped her cheek on her fist and looked at him fully, grinning teasingly. "So, nice necklace."

Squall hunched his shoulders defensively and glared down at the street, protecting the choker from her view with his collar. "Whatever…"

"Not even an attempt of a denial," Selphie said, lifting her eyebrows. Squall sighed and pushed away from the rail, turning his back on her and shoving his hand into his hair. Selphie shifted to lean her back against the railing, looking at him in genuine surprise. "Whoa, it's that serious?"

"That's none of your-"

"You don't get to say that to me," Selphie interrupted gently, her tone affectionate and chiding. Squall felt his face warm and he sighed again. He turned around to face her and dropped his weight against the other side of the railing, folding his arms across his chest. He gave her a challenging glare.

"Going to tell me how dangerous he is?"

Selphie studied him quietly for a moment, serious and contemplative. Then she lifted her chin and shook her head. "Isn't that why you chose him?"

Squall's shoulders relaxed and he lowered his arms, resting his hands on the railing. "Yeah…"

"Does he know that?"

"Yeah. I told him last week…"

"Everything?"

"Basically. Didn't talk about you."

"You can tell him anything you want about me. Even the stuff about Irvy."

Squall glanced through the glass door to see Irvine flipping through the television channels and flirting with Quistis, who ignored him. Zell and Rinoa were somewhere out of sight.

"Well," Selphie said cheerfully, hoisting herself up to sit on the railing. "I think he's good for you."

"You do?" Squall eyed her carefully. Selphie kicked her legs and smiled at him.

"Yup. You've seemed better since he's been back."

Squall tilted his head back and closed his eyes as the wind brushed his hair back. "I…"

Selphie scooted over to move closer to him, smiling playfully. "What do you like about him?"

Squall peeked his eyes open to glare at her lightly. "Don't fall."

"I'm stocked with floats," Selphie waved a dismissive hand at him, then grinned again. "Come on, tell me about him. What's the real Seifer like?"

Squall tilted his head a little, looking off in thought. The real Seifer? Seifer was always exactly the way he seemed. He wasn't the type to hide parts of himself. But at the same time, there were parts to him that Squall was sure only he noticed. The patient care he gave to his gunblade whenever he took it apart on the coffee table to clean each piece, the way he grew quiet when he was analyzing situations or spoke louder to distract others from what he was really paying attention to, the wild pleasure he revealed when winning a sparring match against Squall, something Squall was sure no one else had ever seen. Seifer also got a different intensity from Squall than anyone else, too. 

He didn't want to share any of those things with Selphie, though, despite how close they had become since the day she first crashed into him and then after the war. Sharing that with her felt like revealing Seifer's tells, like a betrayal. He glanced at her and she lifted her eyebrows at him impatiently until he glanced down, frowning a little.

"He-" Squall cut himself off, frowned.

"Come on, you gotta tell me one thing at least," Selphie goaded. Squall shook his head.

"I just don't know how to explain it."

"Well, do you like his smile?"

"His smile?" Squall asked, furrowing his brows, lost in thought again. He huffed a silent laugh. "I guess so."

"What do you mean, you guess so?" Selphie asked, with amused disbelief. "He's got a really nice smile!"

"Well, he has a nice scowl, too," Squall muttered wryly.

"You sadist!" Selphie laughed out loud. "Or masochist, I'm not sure which!"

Squall chuckled and folded his arms over his chest, relaxing a little more. "Probably both."

"Kinky," Selphie teased. "I bet you're totally the type to get rough in the bedro-"

"Cut it out." Squall glared at her, but his blush ruined the effect and she cracked up.

"Aww, come on, I'll tell you all about Laguna," Selphie said, wagly her eyebrows at him.

"Please don't," Squall said dryly and Selphie snickered. He watched her for a moment before speaking up seriously. "So is that official?"

"Mmm, not really. We're just talking right now. He thinks I'm too young for him," Selphie said, smirking ruefully.

"A lot of people would think that."

"No one thought I was too young to kill and die for Garden," Selphie said with amusement, and without bitterness. 

"Never too young for that," Squall said with a frown, glancing away.

"Do you hate it? The fighting?" 

Squall furrowed his brows and didn't reply, staring out over the city again. 

Selphie didn’t press, knowing his answer was the same as hers, and they sat in companionable silence, unsure what it meant that the reply wasn't a clear no.

Seifer exited the hotel kitchen with a large stack of pizzas and groaned aloud when he saw the princess of his bad dreams standing in the lobby. She heard him and glanced over, then gave him a cool look.

"What do you want now?" Seifer asked with annoyance as Rinoa fell into step beside him as he headed toward the elevator. A quick glance around revealed everyone nearby was clearly staring at her with varying degrees of wariness and fascination. "Do you have any concept of a low profile?"

"I was just standing there," Rinoa said defensively.

"Yeah? Does Squall know you're down here?" Seifer asked, lifting a brow. He gestured his chin toward the elevator call button and Rinoa pressed it, glaring at him.

"He's not the boss of me. Besides, the front clerk recognized me the moment I showed up," Rinoa said defensively.

"You sure sounded like you wanted him to be your boss the other day, cadet," Seifer accused, scowling at her as they entered the empty elevator and Rinoa selected their floor. "And more."

"So what if I do?" Rinoa asked. "Squall and I are meant to be toget-"

Seifer dropped his voice low, interrupting her sharply after the elevator doors closed. "Where were you when he was shot, then?"

Rinoa jerked her chin back, her eyes widening. Seifer lifted an eyebrow at her, his tone accusatory. "Every time he talks about it, you're mysteriously absent from the story. But there's no way the sorceress wasn't at an Estharian state dinner. So where were you when he was being hauled to the ER?"

"We weren't dating anymore…" Rinoa said faintly, a little defensive.

"So? Tilmitt wasn't his girlfriend and she went with him."

"He told you about that?" Rinoa asked, her expression shifting to something pained and insecure. Seifer gave her an uncompassionate look and Rinoa looked away from him suddenly, blinking quickly. "I…couldn't go with him."

"Why not?" Seifer asked coldly. "I thought you two were meant to be together. Or is that just pretend like everything with you-"

"Because he was terrifying!" Rinoa whispered sharply, glaring at him defensively with shame in her eyes. She faced him fully and ignored the elevator as it dinged on her floor. "You have no idea what it was like. He- I… He was shot. Right in front of me. And the guests started screaming and the guards took the assassin down, but the rest of us-" Rinoa swallowed as she looked down. "I was so shocked I couldn't move, and at first Squall _ didn't _ move. But did he tell you what he did next?"

"Laughed," Seifer said tightly.

"Yeah," Rinoa said bitterly, her expression tense. "But first he _ dug _ his fingers into his stomach and pulled the bullet out like he couldn't feel a damned thing. Like he wasn't even human. Then he laughed like it was the funniest joke in the world. He had blood dripping down his hand and a bullet in his fist and he _ laughed, _ Seifer, like he was completely insane. I couldn't go with him. I couldn't even _ recognize _ him. Haven’t you realized they didn't force him to get a bodyguard to protect him from _ assassins," _ Rinoa said like Seifer was stupid if he ever actually believed that, and he realized he was. Rinoa huffed a bitter laugh. "He was the last one standing to face Ultimecia, some random killer isn't going to take him down. Laguna forced him to have a bodyguard to protect Squall from _ himself _." She hugged her arms across her chest and looked away. "...I was really scared of him that night…"

Seifer stared at Rinoa in tense shock, then he swallowed hard, shaking his head as his expression darkened. "Then you never knew him," he said with quiet harshness. "And you sure as hell aren't meant to be with him."

"And you are?" Rinoa demanded, following after him as Seifer suddenly stalked out of the elevator and down the hallway. "I know you tortured him!"

"He didn't tell you that," Seifer said with a nasty huff of laughter. 

"I still know it's true!" Rinoa said sharply, staying on his heels. "You don't deserve to be with him, either!"

Seifer stopped short and whirled around. Rinoa barely pulled back in time to prevent colliding with the pizzas. She glared up at him, her shame replaced with anger, and Seifer smirked at her nastily.

"I might have tried to kill him, but I never abandoned him."

"That's not better," Rinoa said incredulously. 

"It is for Squall." Seifer straightened up and met Rinoa's challenging look. Then she hesitated and her expression shifted, becoming worried.

"Then is he still-..."

"Still what? Insane?" He said the word mockingly, like it was a joke to even apply it to the commander. Seifer huffed a laugh and finally relaxed, no longer seeing Rinoa as a threat of any kind, his tone suggesting she was the stupid one now. "Squall's the only here who _ is _ sane."

Rinoa frowned at him, then finally glanced away. Seifer smirked without humor and swiped the door open, then held it for her to enter ahead of him. She hesitated but finally went in, forcing a smile as the others looked up at her. 

"Look, pizza's here!" She said before anyone could notice anything off, quickly hurrying to the kitchenette as Selphie and Squall came in from the balcony.

Squall glanced at Rinoa as she darted away, then eyed Seifer questioningly. Seifer kept his gaze on Squall even as Selphie bounced up to him and took the stack of pizzas as if they weren't about to topple her over. As the others all clamored through the room between them, Seifer's expression shifted into something deeply intimate, something full of promise and possessiveness. Squal's face flushed warmly and he let his weight settle back against the closed balcony door like he needed support. Or restraint, Seifer realized, seeing the dark heat in his eyes he knew so well.

"Squall! Do you want a slice of pineapple ham?" Selphie called cheerfully, laughing as everyone else made noises of disgust. 

Seifer winked at him and Squall lifted his chin a little, exposing his throat slightly, and called back to Selphie without paying attention. "Sure."

A split second later, he tore his eyes away from Seifer as Selphie hopped in front of him and held a plate in front of his face. He wrinkled his nose as he focused on the toppings.

"Pineapple?"

"You said you wanted some?"

"No?"

"Yes?" Selphie gave him an impatient look.

"I'll take it," Seifer said as he approached, laughing at Squall with his eyes. Squall blushed in annoyance as Selphie clicked her tongue and walked away after Seifer took the plate. 

"Rinoa followed me down and a bunch of people recognized her, so heads up for an outcry tomorrow," Seifer said casually, keeping his voice quiet and taking a bite of his pizza. 

"God damn it," Squall sighed tiredly. "What did she want with you?"

"I'll tell you later."

"Is there a problem?" Squall asked, searching Seifer's eyes warily.

"Not at all," Seifer said, shaking his head. "Except I'd rather just go turn in for the night instead of watch a movie." 

Squall hesitated, looking over at the others calculatingly. 

"We're staying whether we want to or not," Seifer interrupted his planning, smirking. "I don't want to face the tiny one's wrath. Go get some food."

Squall snorted softly but pushed away from the door to obey.

"There's a couple tiny whiskey bottles in here," Irvine called out cheerfully as he gathered sodas and water bottles from the mini fridge.

Squall looked up from the box of pepperoni and olive pizza, narrowing his eyes. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Pull the stick out of your ass, Squall. We're not gonna to get wasted. What do you say, Rinoa, Zell? Seeeeelphie?" Irvine held up a bottle of whiskey and wiggled it toward the others.

"We're on a mission," Quistis chided and Irvine rolled his eyes as the others hesitated. Selphie ignored him completely in favor of focusing on the TV and choosing a movie.

"How about you, Almasy?" Irvine asked with a wolfish smile. "Or are you afraid you'll show your true colors?"

"I'm on the job," Seifer said dismissively, taking another bite of his pizza as he sat on the couch, leaving space for Squall next to him.

"Oh, come on, everyone knows that job is a fucking joke. Everyone except you, apparently," Irvine said, rolling his eyes.

"It wasn't a joke when Squall got shot," Selphie snapped, whirling around angrily. Irvine put his hands up in surrender.

"Hyne, Selph, act like we've all never been close to death before…"

"Not like that. You weren't there…"

Irvine sighed and made his way to the other couch, tossing sodas around gently, including one for Seifer. "Alright, I get it. Our new bestie is going to jump in front of a gun for our fearless leader, so no booze."

Selphie caught a root beer and frowned when Irvine twisted open a bottle of whiskey anyway.

"What? No booze for _ him. _ I'm not Squally's bodyguard." Irvine took a sip from his drink and winked at Selphie. She rolled her eyes and plopped on the couch on Seifer's other side, finally selecting a movie from the pay-per-view.

Rinoa sat next to Irvine and Quistis chose an armchair. Squall stepped over Zell, who sat on the floor in front of the coffee table, and took his place next to Seifer. Seifer glanced over at him when Squall sat distinctly closer than he needed to and immediately leaned his leg against Seifer's, causing a rush to flood him. He pressed his thigh back and Squall met his gaze from the corner of his eye. 

When everyone was finally settled, Selphie jumped up to hit the lights and skipped back to her place as the movie started.

She had chosen some loud action flick that immediately started with explosions, serving as a perfect distraction for the others. The group chattered over the movie while they ate, though Squall was characteristically silent. As they finished eating, they piled their plates on the coffee table and Seifer thoroughly wiped off his hands on a napkin before he finally settled back again to relax next to Squall. Keeping his eyes on the screen, he shifted his arm to lay behind Squall's shoulders. Squall rested back against him almost like he had been waiting for it, his arms crossed over his chest.

Making sure everyone was focused on the film, Seifer pulled back a little a moment, causing Squall to glance over cautiously. Seifer winked at him, then brushed his fingertips through the back of Squall's hair. Squall shivered hard in surprise, then glared at Seifer.

The red light of another explosion in the movie made Seifer's grin seem more devilish than usual and Squall felt his heart pick up as if they were facing off for a fight. He glanced down, hesitating briefly, then daringly held Seifer's gaze again as he slowly smoothed his hand over his thigh. Seifer's eyes widened and for a second Squall got distracted by the feel of his hard muscles tensing under his touch, the way his breath hitched, how he spread his leg open toward him a little. Then his fingers bumped the cold soda can tucked between his legs and Squall lifted it up to take a sip as if that was his only intention in the first place. Seifer's eyebrows rose up in astonishment, then he started shaking with laughter. He gave Squall a rueful look and Squall couldn't help the smirk that formed when he lowered the can from his lips. Seifer plucked the soda from his fingers and took a long swallow, then handed it back to Squall like it belonged to him. Squall lowered his eyelids and took another drink before resting the can back between Seifer's legs. 

Squall tilted his head a little closer as Seifer leaned in to whisper to him, trailing his fingers along the back of his neck again.

"Are you sure you want to play that game?"

Squall looked up at him, hesitating as if debating with himself before leaning in to breathe against his ear. "I thought you weren't playing with me…"

Seifer immediately wove his fingers into the back of Squall's hair and gripped it gently, brushing his nose against his jaw, his breath shallow. "Because you already won that game a long time ago. But I'll play anything else you're up for."

Squall swallowed hard, his pulse thumping in his throat where Seifer warmed his skin. He turned his head a fraction to meet Seifer's eyes, both of them exposing more than they ever would in a battle. Then a flicker of movement caught at the corner of his eye and he turned his head a little more to catch Irvine lifting a judgemental eyebrow at him. The cowboy gave a silent huff of disbelief, then shook his head at Squall condescendingly, mouthing the word ‘compromised’ at him slowly. Squall narrowed his eyes threateningly and Irvine rolled his own.

Seifer paused, guessing someone had caught them just from Squall's tense shift in attitude. He felt a sharp pang of irritation and casually shifted back, not even looking at Squall as he pulled away from him completely, then glanced around in time to see Irvine turn toward the movie again. No one else seemed aware of anything, but that was enough to ruin everything and Seifer mentally kicked himself. Squall was sure to retreat now, put his walls up and shut Seifer down. Just because he liked having Seifer around or even felt attracted to him didn't mean he wanted to do anything about it. Especially not publicly. And Seifer hadn’t been discreet.

Squall let Seifer shift away and watched his rival settle back to glare at the screen, the set of his shoulders and his jaw screaming that he was feeling defensive and agitated and pissed off. The warm buzz that had been building in Squall chilled harshly and left him feeling nervous. Was Seifer angry to have been caught? Embarrassed? He would have expected the blond to laugh it off or show off even more, go out of his way to make the others feel uncomfortable if they had a problem with it, but instead he had withdrawn like he was...ashamed and disgusted. Squall winced at the unexpected pain in his heart as those words slipped into his mind, not wanting to touch them. Fuck, why did they hurt so much? And now Seifer wouldn't even look at him. 

Squall mumbled an excuse about the bathroom, then quietly got up from the couch, feeling unexpectedly vulnerable and needing to escape that cold reaction. 

Seifer tensed as Squall stood up, then cursed under his breath when he heard the front door open and close quietly instead of the bathroom door on the other side of the room. He glanced back and hesitated a moment. Squall wanted to be away from him, clearly needed some space. But Seifer still had a job to do and after the crowds downstairs saw Rinoa, there was no telling if someone would try to attack. Even if Squall didn't really need a bodyguard, Seifer didn't want to leave him alone either. He whispered a sharp command to Selphie for her not to come looking for them, then got up and quickly left the suite, ignoring the eyes that shifted toward him.

Down the hall, Squall stood in front of the elevator and glanced back when he heard the suite door close. He briefly studied Seifer's eyes, then faced the elevator doors as they dinged open, hating the scowl on his rival’s face. 

For a heart skipping second Seifer thought he was going to leave without him and he picked up his pace to stride toward Squall quickly. But then Squall sighed in irritation and held the door open, waiting for him to get on.

Seifer joined him silently, scanning him up and down to read his body language as he pressed their floor button. Pissed off. Detached. Something else Seifer couldn't figure out right away. A strange tightness to Squall's movements like he was in pain.

Seifer clenched his jaw and searched for something, anything to say. An apology felt flat, and he wasn't sorry anyway, but Squall clearly wasn't ready to come out of the closet and Seifer had practically forced him to. He regretted that part. 

The elevator dinged again, opening onto their floor, and Squall strode forward to their room without glancing back at him. He let them in, then moved to his bag on his bed to dig out his pajamas and bathroom bag.

Seifer closed the door behind him and hesitated, swallowing down the unease rising in him, and finally spoke up, frustrated. "Look…I'm sorry."

Squall paused, his stomach clenching. Sorry. For starting something he didn't want to finish? For Squall clearly wanted something more than he was willing to give? 

"Whatever," Squall muttered angrily and headed toward the bathroom with his things, still refusing to look at Seifer. Seifer watched him, feeling helpless. He had Squall in his hands less than ten minutes ago, looking at him like he couldn't look anywhere else, and now he was running from him. Seifer slumped back against the wall and closed his eyes as the bathroom door clicked shut.

\--

After barely sleeping all night, it felt like a punch in Seifer's gut to wake up and find his choker sitting on his side of the nightstand. He shoved himself up onto his elbows and picked up the metal plate quietly, just as Squall emerged from the bathroom freshly showered and dressed. They had both gone to bed the night before without another word and it looked like Squall hadn't gotten much sleep either from his expression. He flicked his gaze over to Seifer, then focused on his bag as he dug out his battle gloves.

"We have a meeting with Caraway in thirty minutes," Squall informed him emotionlessly. Seifer closed his fist around his choker and pressed his forehead into his pillow with a heavy sigh, hunching his shoulders, deciding to get this over with now, wanting to know exactly where he stood so he could silence his stupid heart once and for all.

"Do you want yours back?" Seifer asked, trying to sound unaffected like Squall.

"Leave it wherever you want," Squall said carelessly, straightening up to start looping his belts around his hips. Seifer hesitated. It wasn't a no, but it also wasn't a yes. And Seifer wanted to leave the necklace exactly where it was.

"...What if I want to keep it?"

"People are going to talk," Squall said as if he wasn't interested in this conversation. Seifer lifted his head and glared at him, his growing frustration protecting him from the ache in his chest. 

"So fucking let them talk, since when do I care about people? And since when do you?"

"Whatever," Squall muttered, turning away to shrug his jacket on. 

Seifer yanked his blankets away and stood up, moving toward Squall angrily. "So that's it?" Squall turned back towards him and glared as Seifer spoke. "You can't handle a few whispers?"

"..."

"Fuck you, Squall," Seifer scowled at his silence. "You know, I've been pretty fucking clear about where I stand, but you can't seem to just make a decision. Who's playing with who here, huh? You having fun stringing me along?"

"I'm not the one who pulled away last night," Squall snapped suddenly, a blush blooming across his face as he acknowledged aloud that they had crossed a new line and he had been rejected.

"You looked pissed as fuck that I made a move on you in front of people," Seifer said, curling his lip. "What was I supposed to do? Then you got up and left. Just fucking bolted out the door."

"I was pissed that Irvine was getting in my business-"

"So what, you only want to fuck around so long as people can't see?" Seifer asked, his tone vicious.

"Stop fucking talking like you know what I want when you clearly don't!" Squall raised his voice a little, stepping closer threateningly. 

"So then what do you want, Squall?! Say it so I don't have to guess!"

"I already have!" Squall grabbed the chain hanging down Seifer's chest and tugged him a little forcefully. "I fucking want you! I've said it over and over again since you've gotten back! I don't want your goddamn guilt and apologies, I don't want to play with you. And I don't fucking care about anyone else or how it looks." Squall’s tone turned merciless. "You're  _ mine _ and I-mm!"

Seifer kissed him, sudden and possessive, making a weak noise of relief when Squall didn't push him away, when he instead pulled Seifer down by the back of his neck and deepened the kiss. They broke for air sharply and searched each other's eyes, equally startled by the final line they just crossed, by what they couldn't undo, then Squall pulled Seifer toward him, grabbing his waist and falling back against the door so that he was caught by his rival, closing his eyes as he met his mouth again, moaning when Seifer pressed his body to him. They broke for another rough gasp of shared air, then desperately captured each other's lips, dipping their tongues into one another without waiting for permission, giving access without waiting to be asked, tasting one another as fire flared between them. 

Seifer was just shifting to walk backwards to pull Squall to one of the beds when a quick knock rapped through the door behind Squall's back. They broke the kiss, breathing heavily, and both glanced at the wood separating them from the world.

"Squall?" Quistis called through. "We're ready to meet in the lobby and head over to Caraway's."

Squall closed his eyes and swallowed hard, trying to calm his breathing, his voice harsher than he intended. "I'll be down in ten."

"O-Okay," Quistis said in mild surprise, either because he sounded so close to the door or because he wasn't ready early like usual. Hopefully not because he sounded as wrecked as he felt. They heard her footsteps move away.

Seifer met Squall's eyes again, wary and quiet as he spoke. "They're gonna know. I'm not going to be able to hide it."

Squall inhaled shakily, still flustered, then shook his head like he registered what Seifer was saying. "Let them figure it out."

"And what if I  _ want _ them to know?" Seifer asked with a possessive twitch of his eyebrow, his face serious. Squall's pupils dilated a little and he lowered his lids, heat simmering in his gaze. He tugged his Griever pendant gently.

"I'm not keeping any secrets…” He murmured, then he ordered reluctantly, “Go get ready,” letting his hands brush against Seifer's waist as he lowered them. Seifer lingered for a moment, then touched his finger under Squall's chin to hold him still for a soft, achingly intimate kiss that made time stop. When Seifer finally leaned back slowly, Squall caught his other wrist unexpectedly before he could step away, remembering something in his daze. Seifer glanced down at the choker still held in his fist and then up at Squall as the brunet leaned toward him.

Seifer smirked slightly and reached up to clip the chain around Squall's throat, leaning in to whisper in his ear. "You're mine, too. So stop leaving this around."

"Fuck," Squall exhaled with a shiver. Seifer kissed him beneath his ear, then trailed his lips down his neck. Squall moaned and tilted his head to give him better access, grabbing his bicep to keep his balance.  _ "Seifer.  _ T-too much."

Seifer growled a chuckle at the weak warning in Squall's voice and pulled away with a parting nip that caused Squall to inhale sharply. He glared at Seifer hazily as he met his eyes again, desire heavy in his gaze.

"Hyne, this is going to be a long fucking day," Seifer said lowly, wetting his lip as if to savor the taste of Squall. He stepped backwards, then shook his head as he turned away, muttering another curse as he left Squall breathless and burning alive, falling back against the door for support as Seifer stalked away to get dressed in the bathroom.

Squall pushed a hand into his hair slowly, staring at the bathroom door, absolutely stunned as he processed what just happened. Then he turned around and escaped out of the room as fast as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serious note: Squall is not suicidal and never has been, if that's not clear from when he told Seifer he didn't want to actually die. He has been telling the truth about everything, he's just embarrassed about how bad he got. He went through a period of serious detachment from reality after the war, which I think is fair, considering.
> 
> Also, I'm not sure the energy in one part of this story flows right, but hopefully the rest is fun. 
> 
> Also also, I just couldn't hold them back anymore. I seriously tried. As it is, Seifer is fucking ready to propose and I have to keep dragging him back by his coat. 
> 
> Thank you so very much for reading, kudosing, and commenting! You're my inspiration to keep going when the writing gets tough~ ❤ ❤


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It's been a long while! I hope you and your loved ones are healthy and safe ❤
> 
> Before anything else, I want to say something about this story overall. When I started this fic, however long ago that was, the world was a different place. If I had started it now, I wouldn't have written about protests or riots. When I added protests to this story initially, they just seemed a likely consequence of the events in the game. Nothing in this story has ever been meant as political commentary on recent real world events of any kind. But just so it's clear and so no one infers something from this fanfic that wasn't intended, I want to say this plainly: black lives matter and protesting is an American right that I fully support. Thank you.
> 
> Note for this chapter: I would highly recommend rereading the ending of chapter 7, because I changed it a little! The main event is mostly the same, but the way it plays out fits this fic better now, I think. It's still not perfect, but it's an improvement, and getting it there has helped me continue writing. Sorry that this chapter is shorter than usual, I wanted to get something posted after that change. 
> 
> How are you all doing? I am very tired lol. I have been lucky to work remotely during the pandemic, so I have been social/physical distancing very strictly since March. I'm going a little stir crazy haha, but I'm hanging in there. I'm hoping I'll keep up the writing momentum and post again soon, but we'll see. Everyday is the same, and yet nothing is predictable right now.
> 
> I hope this fic brings you a little happiness and comfort in these turbulent times. Thank you for reading ❤

Seifer quickly changed into his vest and slacks in the bathroom. He had been tempted to undress in front of Squall just to tease him, but the completely disheveled look of the other man--lips swollen, hair mussed, clothes bunched, everything about him pulsing with Seifer's touch--was undoing all of Seifer's self control. Years of repressed desires and sharp comments, of lashing out with violence, lovely and cruel, of hating Squall for how much he wanted him, wanted to be like him, wanted to be _ wanted _ by him, and now-

Seifer rubbed his face with both hands roughly. He was dead and this was a dream in his final moments. Definitely. Or this was some sort of new torment, some new delusion or torture. Ellone was in his head, testing him.

Before he could spiral down that rabbit hole too far, he heard the room's front door open and close, and he looked up sharply, a more immediate anxiety registering. He yanked the bathroom door open, finding the bedroom empty, then cursed and rushed to the hallway. 

_Fuck!_ He had pushed Squall too far. _ Too much, _ he had warned. Fuck, fuck _ fuck! _ He screwed up and now-

Seifer jerked the door open and rushed into the hall only to stumble to a stop when he saw Squall leaning against the wall right beside the room, arms crossed over his chest, looking at Seifer in tense surprise, startled by his sudden appearance.

Seifer released his breath in a slow puff, then glanced around the hall, finding it otherwise deserted. He looked at Squall again and shifted his jaw in embarrassment as his heart slowed down. "…What did I tell you about leaving without me?"

"I…" Squall blushed and glanced away. He shrugged his shoulders a little, uncomfortable. "I just had to clear my head."

Seifer hesitated, focusing intently on the diamond pattern of the wallpaper across the hall. "And? Changing your mind now that it's clear?"

"No...The opposite."

Seifer risked a look at Squall, meeting wary blue eyes. "Is that right?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow, then huffed a small laugh as he realized what that meant. Squall's blush deepened and his arms tightened across his chest.

"We should get down to the lobby. We're late."

"Uh huh," Seifer said, smirking at him softly. He leaned his shoulder against the door-frame, searching Squall’s eyes.

Squall held his gaze steadily even as Seifer sobered and his smirk faded as he fell quiet, studying him. It felt like he was reading Squall's soul, leaving him bare and exposed, like Seifer could see everything he was feeling, every flicker of unsureness and every pulse of something stronger, deeper. _ Want. _

The truth was he had to get out of that hotel room or else he was going to pin Seifer down and make him moan those noises of utter relief for the rest of the afternoon. Or he was going to give himself up to his rival and surrender completely. He wasn't entirely sure. All Squall knew was that chills were still running over his skin where Seifer's lips had touched him and he wanted to unravel the other man in the same way. And that was dangerous, not just for each other, but for their mission.

But fuck, it made Squall feel _ alive. _ More than any fight ever had. His heart wouldn't stop pounding, loud and demanding. Undeniably alive. 

Seifer inhaled a quiet hiss at the growing heat in Squall's gaze and he leaned closer to murmur accusingly. "You're going to tournament me all day, aren't you?" 

"Me?" Squall breathed, his tone softly incredulous as Seifer's low voice caused another chill to skitter down his spine. He turned his head a little to glare at him. "Do you know how ridiculous it's going to look when I ask for a transcript of today's entire meeting so I can review whatever the hell we're about to talk about?"

Seifer laughed genuinely, caught by surprise by the joke, and Squall gave him a small smirk, then shook his head wryly and looked away. 

"I'm being serious."

"We can't cancel?" Seifer asked, grinning. 

"No, it's bad enough we're letting the rest of them run around unsupervised in the lobby." Squall sighed, shoving a hand through his hair. He glanced at Seifer one more time and pushed away from the wall reluctantly. "We should get down there."

Seifer rolled his eyes but turned back into the room to get his coat and gunblade. He returned with Squall's weapon too, giving him a dry look.

"Rinoa told me the truth, but can you at least make sure you're armed before you leave my sight?" Seifer asked. 

"The truth?" Squall asked with a small frown as he buckled on his gunblade.

Seifer closed the door and made sure it locked. "That you actually _ don't _need a bodyguard.” He looked at Squall from the corner of his eye as he led the way to the elevator, watching him again as he asked, “Were you really the last one standing against that bitch?"

Squall frowned and shrugged uncomfortably. "I told you at the beginning I didn't need a bodyguard." He pressed the call button and they both got in the elevator, settling side by side against the back wall. 

When the doors closed, Seifer asked casually, "So you really are the most powerful man of all time?" Squall lifted a curious eyebrow and held still as his rival leaned in to purr in his ear softly. "Then what will that make me when I have you pinned down, moaning my name?"

Something in Squall's brain short circuited but before he could even look at Seifer, the elevator doors dinged open and two elderly ladies got in with them, eyeing them curiously. Seifer smiled at them with a friendly expression and they chuckled and said hello, hopefully not noticing the heat that rushed to Squall’s face. And elsewhere.

"Are you two here to see the sorceress too?" One of them asked politely. Squall snapped his attention back to the present and frowned.

"Here to see the sorceress?" Seifer asked slowly. 

"Oh yes! She's visiting unexpectedly. We saw her earlier, didn't we, Winnie? She's quite pretty. Wouldn't guess she was a sorceress just by looking at her though. Looks nothing like Edea."

Winnie nodded, fishing a little black camera out of her purse. "She was having breakfast downstairs. We had to come back up to get our camera." 

"She's agreeing to photos-"

"What?" Squall asked sharply, startling both women. Seifer cursed under his breath, but the ladies heard him and clicked their tongues.

Not-Winnie opened her mouth to say something again but the elevator dinged for the lobby and opened onto madness, spurring Squall and Seifer to rush toward the fray, leaving two indignant old women behind.

The crowd wasn't huge yet, but it was definitely growing as Squall saw more people hurrying through the front door. A hotel clerk tried to shout over the din, but people ignored him.

"Fuck," Seifer growled. "I can't see her."

Without hesitating, Squall jumped up into the front desk, earning a yelp of surprise for the girl guarding the register.

"Sir, you can't-"

"She's at the bar. It looks like she's- are you fucking kidding me?" Squall scowled. He hopped off the desk and dug ten gil out of his pocket to tip the desk girl in apology as he gave Seifer a dirty look. "She's signing autographs."

Seifer rolled his eyes and moved forward with Squall to shove their way through the crowd. Squall noticed he focused more on keeping people away from him than moving toward the bar.

"I thought people here hated sorceresses now,” Seifer said, blocking a group from pressing too close as Squall led the way. 

"Even villains have fans," Squall said, annoyed with this entire situation. Seifer smirked with amusement.

"I'm going to tell the princess you compared her to a villain."

Squall glanced at him and lowered his voice to threaten him suggestively. "Would be a shame if I had to kill you before tonight."

"I'll tell her tomorrow," Seifer said smoothly, his eyes locking on Squall as his blood started humming.

"We'll see," Squall bounced an eyebrow at him, giving him a smirk that promised to convince him otherwise before tomorrow came. He failed to restrain a smile when Seifer looked at him with surprise, blushing when he tripped a little and recovered distractedly because of Squall’s insinuation.

They reached the bar as Seifer muttered about how this was the longest fucking day of his life, finding Rinoa sitting on a barstool facing the crowd, signing a guy's t-shirt with a black marker. Quistis and Selphie were standing on either side of her with their weapons drawn while Irvine charmed the crowd into getting into a single line and Zell talked to the bartender about finding a back door out of the dining room.

Squall caught one end of Selphie's nunchaku as she whipped it rather harmlessly at him before she recognized he wasn't a rabid fan or protestor approaching too close.

"Squall!" Selphie cried in relief to all of their immediate regret.

"That _ is _ Squall Leonhart, I knew it!" A fan shouted, causing more people to shove forward, cameras going off like crazy. 

"Back up!" Seifer hollered, shoving himself between Squall and the growing number of fans, facing the crowd to threaten them. "Back the fuck up or I will make you back up."

"Relax, Seifer," Irvine said easily, smiling at the people backpedaling away from Seifer at the expense of stepping on the others behind them. "Everyone's just excited to see the heroes."

"Marry me, Irvy! I'm okay with an open relationship!" A girl cried from the center of the crowd. Irvine laughed and sent her a flirty wink. Seifer gave him a disgusted look.

"That's enough! Everybody clear out," Squall suddenly ordered loudly at the crowd, drawing cries of dismay as he moved in front of Rinoa. "Anyone who doesn't clear out in three minutes will be-"

"Will be what?!" One hotheaded asshole asked just as loudly. "Balamb doesn't have arresting authority in Galbadia!"

"No, but the Galbadian soldier here has that authority," Squall said flatly, gesturing at Irvine. Irvine shrugged at the asshole and gave him a warning smile. 

"Arrest me, Irvy!" The same girl as before shouted, earning an elbow from her friend who asked if she had no shame.

"You heard the man," Irvine said with a friendly tone. "Time to clear out. Sorry folks, if I have to arrest anyone, the Galbadian army will take over the interrogation, not me, and that won't be fun. But we really appreciate your support, so make sure to check out Selphie's blog this evening for exclusive photographs and a chance to submit questions to the commander himself."

"What?" Squall asked drily, glaring at Irvine. But the crowd's groans turned into excited chatter and they started to disperse enough to give them space. 

Irvine sighed and returned Squall's look. "Can't you try to cooperate? They're not enemies."

"They could have been," Squall said, annoyed. He looked at Rinoa and she winced under his gaze.

"It wasn't my fault, they bombarded me!"

"It _ was _ pretty sudden," Quistis agreed, keeping her whip out as she eyed the stragglers. Most people moved to the other side of the dining room or lobby, but many of them still stayed in the general area to snap pictures of the group out of weapon's reach.

"We'll talk about this at Caraway's. We're late now."

"And whose fault is that really?" Irvine asked, tipping his hat back at Squall with a knowing look. Squall narrowed his eyes at him.

"Hey, we can go out the emergency door, they turned off the alarm for a few minutes," Zell said, keeping his voice low as he rejoined the group.

Squall nodded and glanced at Seifer who was focusing on the crowd still milling about, hand on his gunblade hilt. Seifer caught sight of him out of the corner of his eye and moved to his side. 

"Doesn't seem to be any dissenters in the crowd," Seifer murmured as he drew closer.

"That's because they're marching at Caraway's house today since news got around that Balamb and Rinoa would be there," Selphie said seriously, falling into place at Squall's side. She held up her PDA and showed him an article from Timber Maniacs, who were running a series covering the protests over the past weeks. 

"Is there a back way in?" Squall asked, looking at Rinoa as they headed toward the emergency exit. Zell waved his thanks to the bartender as he led the way through an office.

"We can go through the underground garage. There's a security entrance at the back of the property," Rinoa said, keeping her voice down just in case, even though the alley behind the hotel was empty as they filed out. Squall nodded in agreement and Rinoa smiled at him cautiously. "It's kind of fun to be on a mission together again, huh?"

"We're not on an adventure," Squall warned her. 

"Come on, Squall, it can be fun and still be a serious mission," Zell said good-naturedly. "The protests only get out of hand at night, so we shouldn't even have to fight anyone."

"Caraway's request for us has made it sound like it's been getting violent," Squall said, lifting a brow at Zell and glancing at Quistis for confirmation. 

"There's been a small-but-loud group that's been setting fires and starting fights," Quistis said. "We don't think they're actually part of the protests, but they're taking advantage of the crowds and confusion, and they’ve been escalating things violently in response to the curfew."

"Either way, this is still an unpredictable situation, so treat it as such,” Squall reminded them.

The group fell silent as they made their way down a backroad in the direction of the Caraway mansion. It took longer than the usual route, and then longer still when they reached the fence of the property. They walked along it for a while until they finally found an entrance to the underground garage.

"Jeez, how rich are you, Rin?" Selphie asked as they approached the back gate security office.

"I'm not rich, that man is."

"You lived out of a private train car when you 'ran away' and you weren't affording that with resistance funds," Seifer said drily. 

"That was the only thing," Rinoa said defensively.

"Pretty big thing," Seifer goaded. "Fully furnished with air conditioning."

Rinoa frowned and turned away, deciding to ignore him.

Squall approached the window of the security office. He knocked on the glass to get the attention of the well-built guard who was already glaring at them over the top of his novel.

The man leaned forward and pressed the intercom button. "Can I help- oh, Miss Caraway!" He broke into a strained smile. "I wasn’t expecting you. Needing a car?" He pressed the entrance buzzer when she waved at him.

"We're here to meet the General," Squall said before Rinoa could answer. He pulled open the gate to the pedestrian entrance as it unlocked to let the team in.

"Thanks Dale. We heard there's a crowd out front," Rinoa explained as she passed. 

"Yeah, they’ve been there for a while," Dale nodded. "I’ll tell Annette to prepare your room. You can wait there for your meeting to start."

"No, we're already late," Squall interrupted again. The guard frowned at him but leaned back in his chair reluctantly.

"I'll let the General know you're on the way up."

They walked down the ramp into the garage, Selphie humming cheerfully in the gloomy lights, and then took the elevator up to the mansion, finding Caraway already waiting in the foyer. 

"My apologies," Caraway said, shaking Squall's hand in greeting, "I didn't anticipate the crowd out front, but I see you got in."

"How could you not anticipate a crowd?" Rinoa asked a little disdainfully. "There have been protests for weeks. Anyone could have predicted this, and you’re a general."

"I didn't know _ the sorceress _ was in town until this last night," Caraway said with annoyance. "Do you know how foolish and dangerous it is for you to be here?"

"Dangerous for who?" Rinoa asked hotly, clenching her fists at her side. "Are you worried about me getting hurt or me hurting others?"

"Both," Caraway said, his voice icy. Rinoa flinched in surprise, then turned her back on him, falling silent.

"You didn't hire us to sort out your family drama," Squall said bluntly.

Caraway lifted his chin a little, rebuked, then gestured to the hallway. "We'll talk in the sitting room."

Squall followed him down the familiar path to the same room they had last met in almost a year ago. The furniture hadn’t changed and the windows still looked out over the same city. But a year ago, they were here to kill a sorceress and her lapdog. Now the only known sorceress in the world and that same lapdog were with them as allies. 

Seifer made his way to the windows and looked out over the front of the mansion. Squall joined him briefly, finding a crowd of people filling the sidewalk and street, blocking traffic as they raised signs insisting to impeach Piet and even a couple demanding to kill all sorceresses.

"You sure seem to have bad luck with presidents," Seifer said to Caraway carelessly. The general gave him a wary look.

"It seems so. Piet is a pale shadow of Deling, but unfortunately that makes him even more dangerous," Caraway acknowledged, getting right into the meeting as he dropped the next information. "I’ve come to learn he's being controlled by Martine."

Squall returned his gaze to Caraway, studying him. "I thought you were on good terms with Martine."

"He's a very old friend of mine,” Caraway conceded and Squall had a feeling he knew where this was going.

Squall folded his arms, tilting his head a little. "I also thought this job was to try to help control the riots."

"That's the ultimate goal."

"And what's the plan to reach that goal?" Squall asked, not missing a beat.

Caraway held Squall’s gaze for a long moment before confessing, "...I want you to take down Headmaster Martine."

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute," Irvine interrupted sharply, spreading his hands out to his sides. "That's my Headmaster."

"He _ was _ your Headmaster," Caraway said easily. "I honestly didn't expect you here, either, Kinneas, but since you're working with Balamb-"

"I'm not a SeeD."

"But you live there now? Cid told me about your history with everyone here. Your loyalty seems to lie with the Kramers and your comrades in this room." Caraway clasped his hands behind his back, the image of a military man in negotiations. 

"Cid knows about this plan?" Squall interrupted, watching Caraway carefully.

"Cid is too sentimental to see the need for this plan. That's why I didn't discuss it in my request for support. As commander, you shouldn't need his approval for every job you take, right?"

"How does taking down Martine stop Piet?" Rinoa asked, frowning as she reluctantly faced her father again. 

"Martine is using Piet as a puppet, he's afraid of losing his Garden again if he doesn't secure his power, and Piet is too happy to go along with it.” Caraway moved to the window to look down on the city he had dedicated his life to “These protests only turned into riots when Piet sent in Galbadian soldiers in the guise of police. Before that, the marches were nothing more than a demand for a fair election after the last dictator was toppled. The forces sent to disperse the crowds are Galbadia Garden's best and they've turned things more hostile. The protests are morphing into a small civil war very quickly because of the unjust use of force, except half the war is being fought by trained military elites and the other half by civilians who have never held a weapon in their life. It's going to be a massacre if we don't get it under control."

Squall glanced around at his team as he analyzed that information. His gaze locked on Irvine and the cowboy met his eyes with a tight expression. 

"Martine doesn't know you're working against him yet," Squall accused, looking at Caraway again.

"He thinks you're here to stop the riots, just as you did."

"And you've arranged for us to meet him, haven't you? That's when you want us to take him down."

Caraway smiled. "I suppose they didn't make you commander for your looks. Martine's hostility toward Balamb's new power is no secret. That was the entire reason you needed Esthar to back that peace agreement, wasn’t it? We'll make it look like he summoned you for assistance but it turns out to be a trap. You'll kill him in self defense."

_ And that will leave the perfect power void for you to fill, _ Squall thought, keeping his expression neutral. The entire job felt off, something about it wasn't right. But Caraway's story about the use of military force in the streets matched Quistis's status updates. 

"What time is the meeting?" Squall asked.

"Are you serious?" Irvine asked in shock. 

"Squall, we should talk about this," Zell piped up, uncomfortable as well.

"We're SeeDs with a client, there's nothing to talk about," Squall said plainly, his tone leaving no room for argument. "This is no different than any other job." Zell fell silent and Irvine turned away, pissed. Squall looked at Caraway and nodded for him to go ahead.

"You'll meet him for a welcoming dinner tomorrow at Galbadia Garden. He believes you're here to discuss improving your relationship by providing assistance with the protests, a sort of informal truce. I've arranged transportation tonight so you'll arrive early tomorrow afternoon."

"Understood. Anything you need of us here before then?" Squall asked.

"Just keep my daughter safe," Caraway said, irritation creeping back into his voice. "Some of the more fanatical protesters are indeed dangerous."

"I can take care of myself," Rinoa said, just as agitated again. 

"Is that what you call getting stranded in space and then imprisoned in a sorceress memorial?"

"That's what I call saving the world!" Rinoa said, stomping her foot.

"You-"

"Enough!" Squall snapped. "We'll be ready to depart tonight. If that's all, we'll excuse ourselves now."

"Very well…" Caraway stubbornly conceded. He led them back to the foyer elevator. "I appreciate your cooperation in this matter," he said. "The train will leave at 2100 hours, please make sure you don't miss it."

Squall nodded and then led his team into the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, Irvine rounded on Squall, only to stop short when Squall lifted his hand to silence him, giving him a sharp look. Irvine scoffed, but turned away brusquely.

They made their way off the property a short while later and managed to get back to Rinoa's suite in the hotel unharassed, flagging down a clerk to let them take a service elevator to the room and avoid any lingering hopefuls in the lobby.

"Are you serious about this?" Irvine asked harshly when they closed the door to the suite firmly and no one could hear him. Seifer immediately walked away to go through his rounds of checking the rooms.

Squall folded his arms and faced Irvine. "It's a job, we don't pick sides-"

"Bullshit! You wouldn't kill your own headmaster, would you? You wouldn't kill any of us. You like to act like you're unbiased, Squall, but that's such bullshit!"

"..."

"Squall, maybe Irvy is right. Martine is a good headmaster. We're not just killers for hire," Selphie said uncomfortably. 

"That is _ exactly _what we are," Squall said harshly. "You think that just because winning the war made us heroes, we aren't still mercenaries? That was a job just like any other."

"That wasn't a normal job and it changed all of us," Rinoa said. "I agree with Irvine. We shouldn't do this. SeeD has some say in what jobs they take and Cid didn't order us."

"He's not going to make you do the job," Seifer called over his shoulder as he checked the balcony. Everyone fell silent and Squall glared at him as he joined the group. Seifer shrugged at him. "You're not, are you?"

"That's not the point."

"Right," Seifer smirked. "Gotta spout off those SeeD ideals before you can prove you're a hypocrite."

"If we didn't have an emotional investment in this, would any of you think twice about this job?" Squall snapped, getting irritated. Irvine turned away with a huff and Selphie looked down, thinking about the question.

"We should tell Cid about this," Quistis said. Squall nodded in agreement. 

"We'll try. But it's not going to change what we need to do."

"Which is?" Irvine asked, facing Squall again to glare at him.

"Figure out how to get out of Galbadia without being assassinated," Seifer said.

Everyone except Squall looked at Seifer in surprise. Seifer smirked back at them without amusement. Squall sighed and put his hand on his hip.

"It _ is _ a trap," Quistis said, the pieces falling into place. Squall nodded, glancing between the others.

"We've worked with Caraway before, so he knew we'd come see him even if Galbadia and Balamb have tension between them. But I suspect plans had to change when we informed the police that Rinoa tagged along yesterday," Squall said gesturing to Rinoa in acknowledgement. "They can't kill a sorceress easily and they know you wouldn't just stand by and let us get murdered. So they're sending us to Garden where they'll have a full force ready for us. You may have saved our lives today by being here."

Rinoa raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"But what about the riots?" Zell asked. "We've seen them first hand. It's getting crazy out there."

"I think they're all real," Squall said. "They are having internal problems. But if SeeD showed up to attack Galbadia and they took us down in defense, that would probably unite the people while simultaneously taking care of their biggest political opponent. If Martine's forces failed to kill us and we took him down instead, Caraway would still come out on top since he'd probably take over as Headmaster for a while in the chaos."

"But that's so mastermind-y! I thought Caraway and Martine were good guys!" Selphie said.

"I keep telling you there's no such thing as good and bad," Squall said, a little exasperated. "We were on the same side before, we're not now. And_ if _ this wasn't a trap, we'd be getting on that train tonight to go kill Martine." Squall gave Irvine a warning glare, but Irvine had cooled off to contemplate the situation with a clearer head.

"And how are you certain it is a trap?" Irvine asked. 

"..."

"It's a hunch," Seifer revealed with amusement, leaning against the back of one of the armchairs. Squall glared at him again.

"What?" Zell asked in shock. "We're backing out on a job based on a hunch?"

"It's an…instinct," Squall said reluctantly.

"Knowing that man, I'd say it's a good instinct," Rinoa chimed in.

"The fact that he didn't tell Cid the details of his 'real' mission is a red flag. Cid arranged for us to kill his own wife for the safety of the people. He's not too sensitive," Quistis said, holding up one finger. She added a second. "Having us face Martine on his home turf is another. Martine’s obviously aware we're meeting with him, we wouldn’t be ambushing him, so why didn't Caraway arrange the meeting here in Deling? Now he's going to be fully armed at Garden.”

"All of that and the backgate guard," Squall said, nodding to Quistis's points. 

"What about Dale?" Rinoa asked, confused.

"He was assessing us before Squall knocked on the glass, but if he recognized us, and he should have, he also should have known we were there on Caraway's request. He wasn’t giving us that look because he was suspicious of us. We were the enemy from the beginning," Irvine said, sighing like it all finally made sense and he had failed the puzzle. "And he was upset you were there because no one in your household wants their lady involved. He even tried to get you to go to your room, where I bet you’d get trapped."

"He set off the alarm bells," Squall agreed. "Then the whole meeting felt off. There are ultimately too many ways this could go wrong and killing Martine wasn't what we originally signed up for. We'll reassess the situation from Balamb Garden."

"So what do we do now?" Selphie asked, tilting her head, glancing at the hallway door. “We can’t just get on a different train. Caraway is probably watching us.”

"First we try to reach Cid. Then," Squall sighed heavily as he imagined Xu's smirk perfectly. Seifer grimaced like he knew what was coming. "We continue Operation Golden Boy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe, loves ❤


End file.
